Patient's "right" to abuse nurses...I need your opinion

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi, everyone. I'm a year out from graduation and have been working my job so I haven't posted or been on in a while, but a topic came up on the job and it just rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't want to ruffle feathers at the hospital so I decided to turn to my peers on allnurses for guidance.

I recently had a patient that really tried my nerves. I'm a super patient person and she made me question why I chose nursing (which I thought would never happen!). She would ask me for pain medication and as soon as I would leave her room she would be on her light again asking for the same thing. She literally rang her light 15 times in 10 minutes. I counted because I would answer her. She did this everyday for at least 3 hours every morning for the 5 straight days that I had her. She was cognitively intact. She wanted to go smoke outside, but needed staff with her and no sooner that she went outside by herself (while I was with another patient) she broke her wheelchair then demanded that I go with her. I only had 8 other patients to take care of, no big deal right? She complained about everything from the food, to the other staff, to the other patients. Her room was next to the nursing station and she would scream my name down the hall while I was charting because I was in her line of sight. I started hating my name just because of the shrill way she would scream it and she did this constantly. If I left to tend to another patient she would scream my name louder. I could hear her screaming for me while I took lunch breaks. She yelled at other patient's family members as they would passed by her room. I got so frustrated I told her we were human beings that should be treated the way she herself would want to be treated and her behavior was not acceptable. I didn't know what else to do or say to her. Eventually, she hit my tech and started smoking in the room and that's when administration said she had to go on the 5th day with me.

I made a sarcastic comment and said, "Can someone take the light and just put it somewhere, she knows I'm coming." The nurse supervisor who was getting off of work said, "it is her right to abuse you." I just looked at her back as she sauntered off to the elevator with my mouth open because I couldn't believe what she just said. I thought a better response would have been, "she needs to have her call light in case she has a need that hasn't been addressed." or something along those lines, but she was serious. I determined at that moment I would not pick up any more shifts because I was begged to come in that day and that was what I got. I felt like the "higher ups" really didn't care about me or my mental well being.

My question is do patient's have the right to abuse us? Am I just being a baby and should suck it up because this is my life/job now? I am really dreading going in tomorrow. I loved my job until I had this one crummy patient. I woke up crying in the middle of the night on my third day with her because I knew she was going to do this every time I showed up. I was fighting back tears for those 5 days at work and I cried once in my car on my lunch break. How do ya'll keep the fire that inspired you to go into nursing from going out?

Please help, I'm feeling sooooo helpless and drained :sorry:.

Specializes in Cath/EP lab, CCU, Cardiac stepdown.

We've all had that challenging patient and certainly it can be testing, but make no mistake. Patients do not have the right to abuse you. Nobody does. And if any management tells you different then they need a reality check and a visit from HR. I would not tolerate anyone telling me that the patient can abuse me.

For me this is how I deal with these patients. I like to be up front and real about things. If they keep calling me for narcotics, I'll tell them that they are not due for it and it doesn't matter how many times they call me, I cannot give it to them earlier than scheduled. If they are appear to genuinely in need of it through my assessment then I will page the doctor and suggest a change in pain management. As far as the neediness, patient satisfaction is not first no matter what. I'll tell any administrator that in their face. Patient safety and care is number 1. So if I'm busy with another patient then the needy one is just gonna have to wait. We didn't go to school and get tested on those painful priority and delegation questions for some suit to tell me that o have to drop everything for my more urgent patient to go cater to someone who is not actually in distress.

Another thing is that when you give them the response that they want, they are conditioned to believe that they can do it all the time. If they get upset they get upset. I tell them I was busy with another patient and that they're not my only one. Most patients understand but those that don't, doesn't bother me at all. Also assaulting anyone is not okay and should be reported. Management is at serious liability when they do not prevent that from happening so if the patient is that aggressive then either restraints need to be used or hospital police needs to be present.

I also agree with other posters that the assignment needs to be rotated. Spread the hate is what I always say when I used to make assignments.

2 Votes
Specializes in Neurosciences, stepdown, acute rehab, LTC.

That is completely unacceptable !!!! Id prob flip out or something if another nurse said that to me. And im not a flipper outter but good lord! I'd probably say "I missed the meeting where they said that , let's go together to ask the manager." If they were unable to address this at all, the patient AND that awful coworker, then I'd seriously be looking for a new job. No , just no. That lady needed rounds by staff who know what the hell theyre doing, and they needed to give that patient to other nurses, one of the few cases where I'd change the staff every day so no one gets burnt.

1 Votes
Absolutely not. I'll tell patients that they have right to talk to me that way/treat me that way. Life is too short to be verbally abused at work.

Yes but this has become the reality of acute care. They day they tied patient satisfaction in with reimbursement I knew it would come to point where management absolutely green-lights patients into their attitude that abusing their bedside nurse is acceptable, it has been going on forever without reimbursement and it does not help to minimize it by saying "they are sick, in pain etc..." a lot of people ill/in pain manage to make it through life without abusing others. Now, the same pain/ill individual would be thrown out of McDonalds but, again, we green-light this, I have been in the hospital a couple of times and went out of my way to be pleasant and it was not because I felt good. It will only become worse in no small part because we are not exactly becoming a more polite, less entitled society...I do not think manager was joking when she said being abused is acceptable.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.

No person has the right to abuse another. Not even a patient.

I believe over time it’s become acceptable practice to allow patients to abuse nurses and it’s totally NOT acceptable. I believe you were right to state clearly to the patient that her behavior was unacceptable and then you must set clear boundaries. I have gone as far as to tell a patient I’ve given you your meds and addressed all your concerns at this time I am now going to take care of others I will check in with you in an hour please do not ring for me before that unless it’s an emergency. Many patients need the constant attention some are just spoiled but clear boundaries are acceptable. It’s not abuse to stand up for yourself. The reason to keep returning are the patients who are thankful and respectful you can’t let one bad egg ruin the whole basket.

2 Votes
Specializes in Ltc.

Did you know....YOU CAN REFUSE AN ASSIGNMENT!??!! Also, safe harbor exists for a reason. If you feel you may put the patient at risk because you're stressed by her....idk....by wanting to slap the fire out of her lol....you can request another assignment. If they balk at your request, then I would look for another job, because they clearly don't have your best interests at heart. IT'S YOUR LICENSE HON, NOT THEIRS! I would suggest you start packing your head with nursing rules and regulations...knowledge is power! I can't tell you how many times management has tried to step on my feet, but because I know my laws/rules etc...they can't find opposing reasons to throw me under the bus!

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
47 minutes ago, Nonsense 123 said:

Did you know....YOU CAN REFUSE AN ASSIGNMENT!??!! Also, safe harbor exists for a reason. If you feel you may put the patient at risk because you're stressed by her....idk....by wanting to slap the fire out of her lol....you can request another assignment. If they balk at your request, then I would look for another job, because they clearly don't have your best interests at heart. IT'S YOUR LICENSE HON, NOT THEIRS! I would suggest you start packing your head with nursing rules and regulations...knowledge is power! I can't tell you how many times management has tried to step on my feet, but because I know my laws/rules etc...they can't find opposing reasons to throw me under the bus!

This threat is over two years old so not sure if the OP will be checking back on it.

I do want to chime in and say that not every state has Safe Harbor as an option, in fact I think Texas is one of the very few states (if the only one?) that has such a thing.

No one has the right to abuse anyone!

Specializes in Ltc.

Never thought about that. Thought all states had safeguards for protecting patients. This post just fired me up lol. Didn't even read the date! ?

Still, knowledge is power!

On 10/31/2017 at 3:59 PM, MsNewbee said:

Hi, everyone. I'm a year out from graduation and have been working my job so I haven't posted or been on in a while, but a topic came up on the job and it just rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't want to ruffle feathers at the hospital so I decided to turn to my peers on allnurses for guidance.

I recently had a patient that really tried my nerves. I'm a super patient person and she made me question why I chose nursing (which I thought would never happen!). She would ask me for pain medication and as soon as I would leave her room she would be on her light again asking for the same thing. She literally rang her light 15 times in 10 minutes. I counted because I would answer her. She did this everyday for at least 3 hours every morning for the 5 straight days that I had her. She was cognitively intact. She wanted to go smoke outside, but needed staff with her and no sooner that she went outside by herself (while I was with another patient) she broke her wheelchair then demanded that I go with her. I only had 8 other patients to take care of, no big deal right? She complained about everything from the food, to the other staff, to the other patients. Her room was next to the nursing station and she would scream my name down the hall while I was charting because I was in her line of sight. I started hating my name just because of the shrill way she would scream it and she did this constantly. If I left to tend to another patient she would scream my name louder. I could hear her screaming for me while I took lunch breaks. She yelled at other patient's family members as they would passed by her room. I got so frustrated I told her we were human beings that should be treated the way she herself would want to be treated and her behavior was not acceptable. I didn't know what else to do or say to her. Eventually, she hit my tech and started smoking in the room and that's when administration said she had to go on the 5th day with me.

I made a sarcastic comment and said, "Can someone take the light and just put it somewhere, she knows I'm coming." The nurse supervisor who was getting off of work said, "it is her right to abuse you." I just looked at her back as she sauntered off to the elevator with my mouth open because I couldn't believe what she just said. I thought a better response would have been, "she needs to have her call light in case she has a need that hasn't been addressed." or something along those lines, but she was serious. I determined at that moment I would not pick up any more shifts because I was begged to come in that day and that was what I got. I felt like the "higher ups" really didn't care about me or my mental well being.

My question is do patient's have the right to abuse us? Am I just being a baby and should suck it up because this is my life/job now? I am really dreading going in tomorrow. I loved my job until I had this one crummy patient. I woke up crying in the middle of the night on my third day with her because I knew she was going to do this every time I showed up. I was fighting back tears for those 5 days at work and I cried once in my car on my lunch break. How do ya'll keep the fire that inspired you to go into nursing from going out?

Please help, I'm feeling sooooo helpless and drained :sorry:.

You can ask that she be reassigned to another nurse. We would always take turns taking care of the more difficult patients. The best thing to do is simply ignore her when she calls you name. She keeps doing it because you respond to her. Yes, her call light needs to be answered but within reason. Tell her what she is doing is abusive and you will not tolerate. Round on her every hour, that should suffice. Smoking is a privilege, not a right. You have the right to refuse to bring her outside to smoke if you are tending to other patients. This patient needs a strong lesson in boundaries.

Specializes in OB.

This sounds like a very frustrating situation. One that we all encounter in our years. Demanding, needy, abusive, they come in all forms and nursing school does little (if nothing) to prepare you for The level of abuse we sustain in this job. As a point of advice, just as patients “fire” staff so to can we ask to be reassigned. As a previous charge myself, I was sure to “spread the love” with these types of patients because they really wear on the staff. Also, a good Charge RN can step in and have the hard conversation, to model how the setting of boundaries can occur. There have been times where I’ve had staff say they can’t go in room A one more time or they’ll lose their cool, so I’d answer the next one and go in and set boundaries. I’ve had some of the toughest ones ask for new nursing staff and I’ve told them “you’ve fired everyone we’ve assigned and the rest have specifically asked not to be assigned to you” often that puts into perspective the fact that we have rights and I will enforce them. Period.

2 Votes
Specializes in LTC, NEUROLOGY, REHAB.

I'm in the same camp as "heron" and believe the psych team should've been asked to see this patient. I too am astounded however at the total lack of support from your charge nurse or director as abuse must NOT be tolerated. I know of several occasions when a patients abusive behaviour has been such that the police have been called in! Both times it was an all female staff working night shift in a building away from the main hospital. Many times my charge nurse or matron would be asked to speak to the patients that were abusive in any way. I have been a nurse in both the U.S. and the U.K for over 40 years now and I can honestly say that while this type of behavior is not rare at all, it IS rare that you were left unsupported.

2 Votes
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