Parents that make you go MMMMrgh!

[danissa, LPN, LVN]

Like the set of parents we have right now, their baby is in the ICU room, lines etc , but will be a short term stay, compared to the 24 week, now 30 week tiny in the next bed space. These parents come in, are so loud..bring the 4 yr old sibling from haades, who I swear, flashed his eyes at me red, when Iasked him to sit on his behind and stop jumping and touching stuff!! Anyhow, today, my wee tiny is out for kangaroo care with her mammy, all nice and quiet, after 3 days of being unwell, and this family come in and totally spoil the quality of the cuddles for the mammy and baby who needed it so! They are an obnoxious family, gentle hints dont work, and their noisy behaviour had an effect on the really sick preemie who needed time out with her mother.

How do you guys handle such loud families...(apart from tripping up the "damien" boy, so they HAVE to leave to visit the emergency room???) (am only kidding about tripping him up btw..well, I THINK I am!)

I never feel like this about families, Ilove the kiddos that visit, but this family are so disrespectful of whats happening around them, I'm going :devil: every time they come in. Any tips on tactfulness guys????

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Tact, no. I would be very likely to do a, "Yo! Listen up! You're disturbing this very sick baby and his mother. Please keep it down. You are in an intensive care unit."

I might get reported, but they can bite me.

[danissa, LPN, LVN]

Cheers Sue, my sensitivity trait is being stretched to the limit with this family! Am trying so hard to be nice, their baby is also in the iCU, unexpected, and it's all so unfamiliar to them. but if I count to ten again today...............I will have reached a million!!!

[HighCensus]

I have been in this situation before and can sympathize. I would tactfully remind the family that this was an intensive care unit. I would then explain to the parents that little [EVIL]Damien's[/EVIL] behavior was loud and disruptive to the other patients and if he could not settle down then one of them would need to remove him from the unit out of respect for other families. Get the support of your charge nurse/coordinator behind you. Most of our parents know that we expect siblings to behave appropriately or they will not be allowed to visit. We've even had to go so far as get social work involved at times and get parents to agree to a contract for standard of behavior when in the unit. Good luck:up:

[Jolie, BSN]

Let the wee one's mother have 5 minutes alone with them!

[Imafloat, BSN, RN]

We have a set of parents that I dread right now but for different reasons. They are very demanding, sometimes it feels to me that they read some book somewhere that said the nursing staff is lazy and you need to be loud and bossy to make sure they do what you want. The mom very loudly talks on her cell phone to her friends and family about her baby's condition. She accosts other parents at the Ronald McDonald house and tries to get them to talk about the nurses, other parents have told several of us this. She tries to staff split by badmouthing nurses to other nurses. My mood drops when I see that baby's name under mine on the assignment board.

[prmenrs, RN]

Sometimes I think that parents are angry that their baby is sick (sort of "grieving" for the healthy baby they were expecting). Since they can't really get mad @ the baby, the nurses make a convenient target. I think this is way more common in term babies who get sick than premie parents, who are basically in shock.

About all you can do is, as sweetly as possible, provide a reality check. "It's very imp't for us to keep the noise way down when the really tiny babies are out of their incubators. They can't handle it, and we're trying to take care of all our babies." @ least suggest they bring a couple small [quiet] toys for evil sibling to play w/.

I'm not real good @ the sweet part. I wind up getting reported and family remains brats. :urgycld::chair:

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

That's so frustrating, I agree!!

If your unit is anything like ours ..... they will give the parents whatever the hell they want because for some reason "patient satisfaction" comes before what's best for the babies sometimes! UGH!

[preemieRNkate, RN]

I have had parents complain about me because I've (yet again) reminded them that they have too many visitors or that they need to keep their voices down. Whatever. It's an ICU. I'm my patient's advocate and whether it is their family or another baby's family being disruptive, I speak up. I've never gotten in trouble from my nurse manager for it because I say it as politely as possible and I do explain that although their baby may not need it, other babies in the unit need as much quiet time to get healthy and grow. If they give me a hard time, it's to the charge nurse I go. Luckily for us, we don't allow young siblings to visit during RSV season!

We don't have our rooms arranged by acuity or anything, so it is possible (and common) for us to have a little 24 weeker oscillating next to a screaming R/O sepsis baby. It always seems to be the R/O sepsis kids who have the family that wants to parade everyone and their mother through the unit and cause the most trouble. I probably sound like a witch, but sometimes I want to slap these people and say "Look around!" I know it is not the expectations of new parents to have their baby land in NICU, but sometimes they need to realize that in 48 hours they will most likely bring a healthy baby home. Their roommates may not.

Anyway, my advice is to just politely review the visiting policies and ask them to please be quiet because it is an ICU.

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

sometimes I want to slap these people and say "Look around!" I know it is not the expectations of new parents to have their baby land in NICU, but sometimes they need to realize that in 48 hours they will most likely bring a healthy baby home. Their roommates may not.

I don't think there is anything that drives me more absolutely NUTS than a family like that, that comes in and looks all around at the different babies ..... all curious, asking questions about the other babies. I want to say "you're here to see YOUR baby, this isn't a circus show!"

[elizabells, BSN, RN]

We had a mother refuse to stop taking pictures of her (CPAP) baby while they were (unsuccessfully) coding her podmate. Her response was that her baby was just as sick as every other baby in the unit. At that time, that was... not true. It was true later on, though.

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

We had a mother refuse to stop taking pictures of her (CPAP) baby while they were (unsuccessfully) coding her podmate. Her response was that her baby was just as sick as every other baby in the unit. At that time, that was... not true. It was true later on, though.

Wow. You would think most people would think about how they would feel if they were in that situation and they would be more than happy to comply with leaving the pod.

Actually most people do comply. Most parents are very understanding and very cooperative. Really makes you wonder though about those few people that have no idea.