Parent and school nurse

[BeckyESRN]

I know a few of you guys have kids in the district where you're the nurse, so I'm hoping you'll have some advice.

There has been a lot of conflict in our district this year between parents and administration, some nursing related(head lice) and most not (redistricting, policies, expanding buildings). It's been one thing after another all year; everyone is tense. Here's where it gets difficult: parents want my opinion on different things, but I honestly think most of these parents are crazy! Parents expect that I will "side" with them because I'm a parent, but really all of their outrage is misdirected/overreaction. At the start of the school year, I would just say what I thought about some of the minor things, but as things got heated, I found that people were saying things like "Well, the nurse said..." and then inserting some absurd, made-up stuff. It puts me in a seriously awkward situation. Field trips and play days have become interrogation time to these parents. I dread summer sports because I know it's not going to stop! Does anyone have any tips for treading this minefield? I'm afraid it's going to negatively impact my kid's school experience!

[Emergent, RN]

Maybe just flat out tell them that since you're employed by the school district, you've been advised not to comment on controversies.

[Farawyn]

Maybe just flat out tell them that since you're employed by the school district, you've been advised not to comment on controversies.

I agree with this, but it is easier said than done. You have to be VERY firm with your boundaries.

This role is tough for me, because not only do I live in the town and my kids go to school, but the no venting thing. This is why you guys here are so important to me. I cannot talk about anything that happens at school- cannot even allude to it, even if my heart is breaking. When you are in the same town/school, "your kids" takes on a whole different meaning.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I have a child in the district now and all 3 of my adult children also attended. I "retired" from the school nurse job last October but this issue still dogs me. And my son is active in sports as well.

Besides the silly stuff parents say about lice . . . I just don't engage in the conversation.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

i work in my kids school. I know the meaning of bullet proof. I also know the meaning of the phrase of "i'd love to discuss this with you. why don't you call during my office hours? :) " It took a few times before i got the nerve to say that - and a few times that i felt like i should follow up with people about school things outside school (hey! you over there!! You still owe me a shot record!!) But i've learned to bite my tongue and know that THEY know i'm watching. And that i will call, but during business

Yes, kids see me in the store. Yes that is wine in my cart. Your kid is probably the reason that it's there

[Farawyn]

Yes, kids see me in the store. Yes that is wine in my cart. Your kid is probably the reason that it's there

Love you.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

love you too!

[BeckyESRN]

i work in my kids school. I know the meaning of bullet proof. I also know the meaning of the phrase of "i'd love to discuss this with you. why don't you call during my office hours? :) " It took a few times before i got the nerve to say that - and a few times that i felt like i should follow up with people about school things outside school (hey! you over there!! You still owe me a shot record!!) But i've learned to bite my tongue and know that THEY know i'm watching. And that i will call, but during business

Yes, kids see me in the store. Yes that is wine in my cart. Your kid is probably the reason that it's there

I like the office hours line! I'll be adopting that one for sure. I've used some generic lines to deflect their crazy inquires, but these women are persistent! When it comes to head lice discussions outside of school, I've tried to educate, but their general response is "I don't believe that". Ugh, so much for research and evidence based practice, Dr. google wins every time!

[ohiobobcat]

My kids go to school where I work, and I am involved with booster groups and help out with theater and show choir. Some parents try to drag me in some of the drama, but I tell them I am Switzerland and like to stay neutral with this topic (whatever it may be).

I am curious. How do you think this will negatively effect your kids?

[mycsm]

My three kids are in district where I live and work. I have left parties where my colleagues have been bashed, I have also left teacher pow wows where my close friends have been bashed. I will not discuss anything that has to do with a student unless it is during school hours. Those who are my real friends would not put me in the bad position, those who are not my friends, need to be told several times that I only work during the school hours. I say I am a mom and not your childs nurse right now. I reinforce that while there might be an emergency in which I will respond and help, I am not discussing school/health issues after hours.

have a lost points with some parents...YUP, but do I care...NOPE. Be firm, and again they don't have to like you..outside of school

[Farawyn]

My three kids are in district where I live and work. I have left parties where my colleagues have been bashed, I have also left teacher pow wows where my close friends have been bashed. I will not discuss anything that has to do with a student unless it is during school hours. Those who are my real friends would not put me in the bad position, those who are not my friends, need to be told several times that I only work during the school hours. I say I am a mom and not your childs nurse right now. I reinforce that while there might be an emergency in which I will respond and help, I am not discussing school/health issues after hours.

have a lost points with some parents...YUP, but do I care...NOPE. Be firm, and again they don't have to like you..outside of school

My bigger problem is with my friends. One of my best friends will call me Nurse Far...like when I walk into book club. It gets me mad, and I've spoke to her about it. I think she does it for her own insecurities than anything against me, but it is becoming a problem in our relationship.

[BeckyESRN]

I am curious. How do you think this will negatively effect your kids?

Unfortunately, these women are very catty and immature. If you don't join in with their bashing of administration, policies, or whatever it is this week, they hold a grudge. I've already seen the way these moms treat some other students (loudly declaring that she could see lice "crawling" on a student, it was glitter BTW). I've been on the receiving end of personal attack e-mails, which were forwarded to my principal and not responded to by me. I just worry that it will carry over into their treatment of my child, since, of course, these women are also very active in the school.