Overbearing pt family

sayitgirl · Sep 9, 2005

Just wondering if there is any kind of diagnosable syndrome for families of patients with chronic illness who develop an overbearing/controlling role in their loved-ones care? For example, in the hospital where I work, there is a sister of a geriatric patient who manually checks the pt for impaction daily (or more). She is obsessed with the detailed aspects of the things being done for her sister. Her sister resides at the nursing home, but she feels the need to stay with her around the clock, despite the care given the pt by professionals. How specific? you might ask... she blow dries the pubic hair of the pt after each void. That's just one example of how far out this lady goes. And I've also encountered other families while working elsewhere that may be labelled a "Problem Family" because of the lengths they go to when it comes to their loved one. I'm sure anyone in the healthcare field knows what I mean... not just the concerned wife, or the doting the son...but the WAY FAR OUT THERE bunch.
Any way, just wanted to know if there is a NAME for behavior such as this (other than bizarre, inappropriate, et c).

This is a reflection of the management of your facility. Sounds like you need a trade in....

Farkinott, RN · Sep 9, 2005

[/size]this is sexual abuse! stop it and report it!

jpennybaker · Sep 9, 2005

I agree this is completely bizarre behavior, sounds sexually related as it seems to concern the peri-rectal area. Can you call an immediate meeting of her health care team? Get everyone involved and bring in the sister of your patient. She needs to be banned from providing and care and if need be have an escort when she visits. We advocate for our patients, not their families. Is this sister functioning as a medical guardian or anything?

Bama_Jypsy1 · Sep 9, 2005

I've never chanced across a family member that is this disturbed and hope I never do! This is abuse plain and simple. If the pt. happens to be a cardiac pt, you might expain to the family member the dangers of checking for fecal impactions on these pt's. That could be one approach. The other is to make sure the situation is known to your supervisors and document that you relayed the problem to the them. This is definitely a form of abuse. What need is there to check for an impaction daily? What need is there for a family member to EVER check for an impaction while their relative is in a facility? This is inappropriate behavior and I'd definitely report it to pt's Dr., DON and Adm., and SSD.Document, document, document!!!! CYA

ClaireMacl · Sep 12, 2005

OMG, this is horrifying. I hope you get somewhere with the authorities on what to do next, being a patient advocate is so important... much more than the worries of the family becoming irrate.

Best of luck!

HeartsOpenWide, RN · Sep 12, 2005

This sounds like sexual abuse to me! Maybe the sister really care about her and wants what is best for her...but this is not ok. This should be reported. Would you want to be this sisters sister? If some one gave me daily rectal exams and blew dry by genitals I would kick them in the face, no matter how much they were "try to help" but I assume this woman is not able to do this, or let alone defend herself orally either! Sounds like she needs some one like you to report this!

I understand that the sister may be concerned for her sister. But maybe you could remind her that her sister is being taken care of professionals and to leave it up to them....

hipab4hands · Sep 12, 2005

Ummmm.... wierd?
:chair: :chair:

LOL. You're right

Someone needs to contact this pt's dr and let him/her know about this type of behavior and get a medical order that states the sister is not to provide this type of "care" for the pt.

If the sister continues to violate the dr.s order , then contact Adult Protective Services. They can get a guardian appointed for the pt., and get a restraining order against the sister , if needed.

crb613, BSN, RN · Sep 12, 2005

I cannot believe what I am reading....how long has this been allowed to go on??? Bells, whistles, red flags, foghorns went off in my head...abuse plain & simple. This is wayyyy sick. Please help your patient. :crying2:

BabyRN2Be · Sep 12, 2005

Why is this eing allowed to happen???
Someone needs to stand up for this pt! Good grief, either that woman is a wingnut, or she's a sexual abuser! Why isn't anyone advocating for this defenseless patient? :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire
Someone needs to call the local Office of Aging, like stat! Until the situation can be investigated, that woman should be barred from entering the patient's room. She is a clear and present danger to that pt's welfare.

:yeahthat: How many people in real life blow dry their pubic hair after voiding?? This woman has some problems and I think that some psych consult for both pt and relative should be in order. I've NEVER done that, and I would NEVER let someone do that to me...

EarthAngel · Sep 18, 2005

Talk about an advocate to the X-treme, maybe you might want to tell her not to blowdry the pubic hair because excessive drying causes split-ends, maybe she might just freak j/j. She's crazy. We have a family member like that, perhaps she had bad stories or experience from the past. She needs some serious counseling.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

SPLIT ENDS!! omg I was reading this at work at a quiet time.. (10 pts and 3 nurses.) I clapped my hand over my mouth before the squeal could escape. I can just imagine it: "Ma'am, please stop blow drying your sister's pubic hair. It increases her risk for split ends that may lead to her requiring a pubectomy"

HappyNurse2005, RN · Sep 18, 2005

I can't beleive this is a true story. First of all, it is way out there. Blow drying pubic hair? Checking for impaction? THis poster has such a low post count, coming on here and posting something so....odd....

I can't beleive that ANY nurse would see this happen and let it be and simply call it "overbearing". what happened to a duty to report suspected abuse?

fab4fan · Sep 18, 2005

Notice how she hasn't been back to update, either?