Overbearing Parent Help

Specialties School

Published

Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Women's Health,School Nursing.

Not my scenario but sharing for a fellow school nurse.  She currently has a student who is in her elementary school and diabetic (7 years old, diagnosed 2 years ago).  Mom is very overbearing and difficult.  Student has a pump and CGM that alerts moms cell phone.  Basically this year mom demanded the school provide a private 2 way radio for the teacher and school nurse to be able to communicate on (in case something happens at recess etc).  The little girl also carries a cell phone on her which mom continuously calls her on using face time. 

Problem #1: the 2 way radio has created such a problem for this nurse-remembering to carry this in addition to the regular school 2 way radio, and god forbid she stepped out of her office and down the hall for 5 minutes and she did not answer right away.  (FYI school size is under 300 students so not a big building).  Mom did not want them using the regular 2 way radio because of privacy concerns (but nothing medical is ever discussed over the radio-it comes down to a teacher radioing the nurse saying 'I need a nurse to the playground now" etc so I don't get this at all....all rooms have a phone so radio is not necessary then)

Problem #2: as soon as this precious childs monitor alerts mom that her blood sugar is going high/low mom face times the student and refuses to hang up until everything is done (blood sugar is coming back up or insulin is administered etc).  This leads to a privacy issue in the health office setting. 

The nurse is running into a lot of issues of this mom watching her every move and nitpicking everything....and it is leaving her extremely stressed out.  Administration is not helpful either.  Looking for some good advice to pass on here...I did not think having a private 2 way radio is even a responsibility this nurse should have to carry but I wanted to help arm her with info before going to admin.

Any experience with something similar to this? 

Specializes in School Nursing.

Does this child have a 504? I think a meeting should be called and expectations managed.  No to the private 2-way radio. I'd also work to put a stop to the facetiming, that has to be interfering with more than just the clinic. 

10 Votes
Specializes in school nurse.

I would come up with the fanciest, most professional packet of home schooling program brochures for mom's reading pleasure.

Seriously, without any support from admin, your friend is really in a tough situation...

6 Votes
Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..

The facetiming needs to stop. It is disrupting to the learning process for every other child in the building. The school has reasonable accommodations, the nurse. Admin needs to get on board before other parents start throwing a fit. If mom is nit-picking and overriding everything the nurse does, then the nurse needs to be taken out of the equation. Mom can come at meals and snacks to give insulin. Kinda silly, right?

While I understand the mom's concern, her baby's life is in someone else's hands for a large part of the day, this child has been diagnosed for 2 years, a little bit of independence needs to start being taught. Mom can still follow the student from home. BUT, let the nurse intervene if a low or high is happening. If, for some reason, the student is getting super low or super high, it would be appropriate for the mom to call the school to make sure everything is okay.

Two-way radio. No. Unnecessary. All of my T1 teachers had my cell number and I had theirs. They had their phones on them at all times as did I should a need arise.

Plain and simple, admin needs to get involved, this cannot continue.

12 Votes
Specializes in retired LTC.

What's next? Other parents demanding radio comm for their seizure-prone kids?

What's next for you guys?

4 Votes

I have always communicated with my T1D parents and teachers by cellphone. My latest two students have had dexcoms and keep their phones with them during the day. I monitor it from my phone and the parent would monitor it at home. I handle the highs and lows and let them know what we did.  That has been sufficient. If and when I had a question I contacted them for their advice. I would definitely have a 504 meeting set up and have better options.  That is too much distraction for other students!

1 Votes
Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, School Nursing, OB.

We have one that constantly calls us because she sees her child is dropping or going up and telling us what to do that does not match the Dr orders. So I said I sorry I don't have orders that tell me to do that until the sugar is at whatever. So now she texts her child to have them do it in class. I just want to say if you don't trust the school system with an educated professional then homeschool!

4 Votes
Specializes in School Nursing.

Wow!  
No way to all of that!  I am so sorry your administration is not supporting you on this.  They really need to have a meeting and discuss this with the parent.  Explaining face to face with the parent may help them understand why it is unacceptable. 

Specializes in LTC.

Hi, I just want to say that as a mom of a child with Type 1 Diabetes who has been diagnosed for 2 years now, and has the Dexcom and pump, she really should be able to just watch the results on the Dexcom. I’m getting ready for my 8 year old diabetic daughter to leave homeschooling and go to school next year.  I actually got my nursing license back  recently partly so I can be the school nurse if the job becomes available.  That being said, I hope I won’t be an overbearing parent for the teacher and nurse atvour school.    I have 3 other people in my family who watch my daughter when I’m not home. Two of them are 14 and 16.  That mother needs to learn to trust someone else to watch over her child.   Having a child with diabetes is kind of like letting someone watch your newborn. It is hard, but you adjust. 

3 Votes
Specializes in school nurse.
On 2/3/2022 at 8:55 AM, SandIsMyGlitterRN said:

Wow!  
No way to all of that!  I am so sorry your administration is not supporting you on this.  They really need to have a meeting and discuss this with the parent.  Explaining face to face with the parent may help them understand why it is unacceptable. 

...best to have a witness or two when meeting with a parent like this.

6 Votes
Specializes in NICU.
On 11/10/2021 at 9:03 AM, OyWithThePoodles said:

The facetiming needs to stop. It is disrupting to the learning process for every other child in the building. The school has reasonable accommodations, the nurse. Admin needs to get on board before other parents start throwing a fit. If mom is nit-picking and overriding everything the nurse does, then the nurse needs to be taken out of the equation. Mom can come at meals and snacks to give insulin. Kinda silly, right?

While I understand the mom's concern, her baby's life is in someone else's hands for a large part of the day, this child has been diagnosed for 2 years, a little bit of independence needs to start being taught. Mom can still follow the student from home. BUT, let the nurse intervene if a low or high is happening. If, for some reason, the student is getting super low or super high, it would be appropriate for the mom to call the school to make sure everything is okay.

Two-way radio. No. Unnecessary. All of my T1 teachers had my cell number and I had theirs. They had their phones on them at all times as did I should a need arise.

Plain and simple, admin needs to get involved, this cannot continue.

Personal cellphone?  Many school nurses say not to use your phone for if there's a lawsuit your phone can be subpoenaed.  

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