Outside of your work environment......

cherrybreeze, ADN, RN · Mar 18, 2010

I happened to see her while I was shopping. She was not worth me getting upset on my leisure time.
But I did look her square in the eye, up and down, to let her know you do NOT intimidate me. We are not in the hospital now so that bullying mess don't fly.
The ONLY thing that stopped me from really giving her a toungue lashing was my license. She seems like the type that would call the BON anoymously and make up false charges just to "get back". So, I let it go.

Ah, but you see, she DID upset you on your leisure time. Even just that *mean look* you gave her, proved that to both her, and you. Pretending like you didn't recognize her, and not acknowledging her, would have had a better effect. She knows she got to you, and that you're not over it.

Not sure how your license would be on the line in any capacity by talking to her, though....the false charges thing really seems like a stretch?

Zookeeper3 · Mar 18, 2010

I am sorry that a person could have such an impact on you. I love running through scenerios later coming up with zingers, sometimes, okaaaay usually I regret that my verbal filter always seems to have a short fuse.

So take it from someone who regularly eats their own foot, it never tastes good and gives me indigestion.

Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN · Mar 18, 2010

If you saw a nurse that bullied you, gave you hell, gossiped about you, and was one of the main reasons you transferred to another unit OUTSIDE of your work environment, would you confront them on their behavior?
And if you did, could that put your license at risk?
Or would you "let it go", considering you are not at work at this time?

I'd leave her alone without confrontation. What would be the point? You've already left. I know, you want to deal with your feelings and make her see the error of her ways, but she just may not ever see what an buttmunch she was, no matter what you say. I find that people like her just never get it. Furthermore, if you do confront her, do you think she'll break down and apologize sincerely, or do you think she will revert back to her ways that made you leave your job? I'm betting her response would leave you feeling worse.

I'm thinking the mean look you gave her was probably more fuel for her gossiping fire, even though you are no longer there. That stuff is fun for a gossiper, not threatening or intimidating. She now knows that she is still annoying you and still has some power over you.

Even though it won't happen, you know she can report you to the BON without you confronting her if she was truly intent on being a buttmunch. However, methinks the imaginary hating scenarios may be going a bit far...

Please kick her "power" to the curb into the sewer. That's where it deserves to be.

allnurses Guide · Mar 18, 2010

There's really no need to be unpleasant or make a scene, however. . .you could. .

1. Stop your cart at a 45 degree angle before you pass her, preferably next to one of those cardboard display contraptions, while developing both a sudden fascination with the label on a jar of pickles and a severe hearing problem. .or

2. Wait until she's almost ready to check out, discreetly get in front of her. Pull out a big wad of coupons after the cashier has finished the transaction. Ask for a price check on something very small and obscure. Drop your coins all over the floor. Scan your receipt before moving on and find 3 things they failed to give you the sale price on.

3. Sneak an item in her bag that has the shoplifting sensor on it. . .

Ha, yeah I'm 5 but still. . . if only in our minds. . . .:)

RhiaRN75, RN · Mar 18, 2010

'Living well is the best revenge.'

A confrontation in such a public place would only briefly make you feel better. It's just not worth the repercussions and certainly the coworker isn't worth the gift of free fuel for the fire. Now if the other nurse were to make confrontation unavoidable- that's a different matter.

I would just smile, maybe say 'good morning', and go on.

People such as your ex-coworker eventually pay for their deeds. They usually manage to drag a whole bunch of people down, though, before it catches up to them.

allnurses Guide · Mar 18, 2010

The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. As the above poster said - the best revenge is living well. The best thing you could have done is gotten on your phone, smiled, looked happy and made plans with those who ARE in your corner and ignored her completely. She is insecure, small and miserable somewhere inside herself. The only thing that would get to her is the sense that you have moved on and are happy. And there are no words to tell someone that....telling someone how happy you are without them in your life is proof you still care. Simply moving on and letting the anger in your heart dissipate to indifference is proof this person no longer holds any power over you.

morte, LPN, LVN · Mar 18, 2010

There's really no need to be unpleasant or make a scene, however. . .you could. .
1. Stop your cart at a 45 degree angle before you pass her, preferably next to one of those cardboard display contraptions, while developing both a sudden fascination with the label on a jar of pickles and a severe hearing problem. .or
2. Wait until she's almost ready to check out, discreetly get in front of her. Pull out a big wad of coupons after the cashier has finished the transaction. Ask for a price check on something very small and obscure. Drop your coins all over the floor. Scan your receipt before moving on and find 3 things they failed to give you the sale price on.
3. Sneak an item in her bag that has the shoplifting sensor on it. . .
Ha, yeah I'm 5 but still. . . if only in our minds. . . .:)

yup,yup,yup.....like that one, oh yeah,,,,gotta store that one away.....

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2010

The next time you see her, keep it moving. Bullies don't lose a minute of sleep over the people that they torment, so why in the world are you concentrating so hard on her?

Keepstanding, ASN, RN · Mar 18, 2010

just pretend she is invisible. you don't see her. she is a vapor. not there.

you are the better person. hang in there !

praiser :heartbeat