I quit my floor nursing job of almost 5 years a bit over a year ago. My family was relocating so I figured I'd take some time off to prepare for the move, sell the house, etc. I planned to start working again shortly after moving but decided to wait a little while in order to get the family settled, find daycare for my youngest and make sure my older child was adjusting okay to her new school. Suddenly the school year is over and I'm wondering where the time went!
I applied to a family nurse practitioner program and found out recently I was accepted. I start in the fall. Meanwhile I've finally applied for a couple of PRN positions that I haven't heard back on, but now I'm not sure how work will mesh with school.
I'm a little lost. I miss nursing, I miss my nurse friends, and haven't really found my place here in this new city. I want to work, but don't want to start a new job at the same time I'm about to start school because I'm scared the schedules won't mesh and I'll just end up quitting. It's an online program so hoping I can find something that works.
Guess I'm just wondering if there are other nurses out there who've become stay at home moms and struggled with keeping their identity as a nurse. I don't even feel like a nurse anymore.
I'm sure I'll feel better about it once I'm in school and learning again, but right now I feel like I'm losing my skills and just sort of languishing in my house. I know a lot of nurses would love to quit and stay home with their kids but it just isn't for me...
I was a stay-at-home mom prior to going to nursing school. Our story is similar. Husband found a job with excellent pay and great benefits, but it was 5 hours away from where we lived then. 9 months pregnant and ready burst, we moved to where we live now. No family, no friends, and as a workaholic I didn't have a job...it was quite the change.
Being a stay at home mom does change how you identify yourself, nurse or not. It can be lonely, tiring, and straight up difficult. You take the batteries out of toys and conveniently forget to replace them so you don't have to listen to the annoying song that your child loves. You're sleep deprived, money is tight, and you are in charge of household tasks. You miss adult conversation!
I took a job as a substitute teacher and worked on the days my husband was off. One of us was always home with our child, I still was able to kinda work yet still give my child the attention he needed. I don't regret not making "real" money during this time, but I also don't regret taking the job as a sub.
I hope you get a PRN job as a nurse. Just keep applying and eventually you'll get a job. I get it though, I totally get the craziness that staying at home provides. I wish you the best of luck!
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
MaiBee, I just wanted to address one aspect to your post, because the advice already offered is excellent regarding your work-school-family considerations. I mean the "I don't even feel like a nurse anymore" syndrome. I returned to the workforce after a long gap more out of necessity and I was terrified. Once I had the job I was amazed at how much I thought I had forgotten, but didn't. Something about nursing gets into the hard-wiring, and as keeping current is part of the job, I had more current to catch up on, and lived to tell the tale. Returning to nursing has been a blessing in many ways for me.
School will be like a full time job almost in itself. I would be hesitant to take on a new job until you've settled into school and see how much time it's going to take. You're going to have lots of papers to write, research, and other homework assignments. Plus you still have to kids to take care of. Once clinicals start you'll be spending major time with that too. You don't want to be so stressed and run ragged that you aren't a nice mom and wife to be around. Sure you can do it but I would be patient until school starts to see what it's like for you. You do realize you'll probably have to be in orientation for possibly 6-8 weeks full time before they'll let you work prn anyway? I agree that the longer you're out the more lost and unconfident you feel. I was out for 10 years!! I did get lonely when I first stayed at home but once I got involved in my kid's schools and church groups with other stay at home moms, I was so busy the time flew. I think school is going to give you that outlet you need. It's only a couple months until it starts. If you really really want to work, plus go to school, and take care of your kids then apply to all the prn jobs you can and see which is most flexible while you're in school. Just because you apply doesn't mean you have to accept the job. Do you have adequate day care if you have to work holidays, weekends, nights, 12 hr shifts, etc? It can be stressful on your kids too so be sure to take that into consideration. Good luck and congrats on getting accepted into the program! (Oh and I had no trouble finding a job even after 10 years! I went back when they were all in school. It worked out great!)
Being a SAHM is not for everyone. While it may seem like a luxury, it's not. You are actually working longer hours as a SAHM with no adult human interaction. Take it from someone who has done both. I'm so happy to be back out in the world again!
I'm not starting a SAHM/Working mom war but and agree that it isn't for everyone but I find the "no adult human interaction" idea a bit disingenuous. I was a SAHM when my older kids were young and didn't start nursing school until the youngest was in 1st grade. I didn't take a job during that time because school took enough of my time away from the kids. But when I was home with my kids, I was an active person. I also homeschooled for awhile and got involved with a local group of other homeschooling families and we went on hikes, bike rides, the local pool, picnics to our local park with other kids and their parents, trips to museums, and I met a lot of good people that I'm still friends with. All my kids played community sports and my daughter wanted to dance as well and we joined a dance group. They were in 4-H and raised sheep. One kid took photography through 4-H. There is a local physician who helps train kids to run long distances and they do 5K races all the time.
It just bugs me (obviously) that there is this idea that SAHM's are lonely, isolated, depressed. You can find adult human interaction if you get out of the house and find people with the same interests. I am huge fan of music and my kids and I went to many local concerts at a beautifully restored old theatre. We still do.
I don't self-identify myself as only a nurse. I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, a granddaughter - those all come before being a nurse.
And I left hospital nursing over 10 years ago (I did ER/L&D/Acute) and started working part-time in hospice. Five years ago I started working part-time as a school nurse as well but left that job after 5 years. Now I'm working in Outpatient and wound care and I've had to get my skills back up to par . . .starting IV's came right back, caring for Central Line's and chemo, blood transfusions, etc. It didn't take me long.
The whole time I was in hospice, I let my ACLS, PALS, and MICN certifications go. I had to renew ACLS to work in outpatient and it is funny but the class is way different and easier than before.
I'm almost 59 years old - still do hospice and outpatient. I also go on medical missions to Vietnam. I don't think you should ever think you can't do nursing after some kind of break.
I laughed about taking the batteries out of the toys. For me it's the constant picking up of stuff I've already picked up three times that day. It's maddening. At the end of the day the house is just as messy as it was when I started even though I feel like I've done nothing but clean. And the constant fixing of snacks and folding of laundry. It gets mind-numbing after a while. I love spending time with my kids and it has been great being there for them more this year, but there has to be something more.
Argh just typed up a whole reply but my Internet farted and it's gone.
Anyhow, I love hearing about those who've taken non-traditional career paths and been successful. There are so many cautionary tales out there and it's really easy to panic that things aren't happening fast enough.
I have struggled with finding friends here...I'm sure there are possibilities for adult interaction but I've had a hard time finding them. Granted I am a bit of an introvert so finding these opportunities is a bit daunting. I hate being the new guy...
I laughed about taking the batteries out of the toys. For me it's the constant picking up of stuff I've already picked up three times that day. It's maddening. At the end of the day the house is just as messy as it was when I started even though I feel like I've done nothing but clean. And the constant fixing of snacks and folding of laundry. It gets mind-numbing after a while. I love spending time with my kids and it has been great being there for them more this year, but there has to be something more.
I can't believe you expect your house to stay clean when you have kids. That's just crazy.
My three adult kids are long-gone and I only have the almost 15 year old here at home - and I've got two tables of clean laundry to fold downstairs and to tell the honest truth, there usually is unfolded laundry on those tables. We go downstairs and search for what we want to wear many times. The only thing that ever really gets folded and put away on a regular basis is the towels.
I'm not starting a SAHM/Working mom war but and agree that it isn't for everyone but I find the "no adult human interaction" idea a bit disingenuous. I was a SAHM when my older kids were young and didn't start nursing school until the youngest was in 1st grade. I didn't take a job during that time because school took enough of my time away from the kids. But when I was home with my kids, I was an active person. I also homeschooled for awhile and got involved with a local group of other homeschooling families and we went on hikes, bike rides, the local pool, picnics to our local park with other kids and their parents, trips to museums, and I met a lot of good people that I'm still friends with. All my kids played community sports and my daughter wanted to dance as well and we joined a dance group. They were in 4-H and raised sheep. One kid took photography through 4-H. There is a local physician who helps train kids to run long distances and they do 5K races all the time.
It just bugs me (obviously) that there is this idea that SAHM's are lonely, isolated, depressed. You can find adult human interaction if you get out of the house and find people with the same interests. I am huge fan of music and my kids and I went to many local concerts at a beautifully restored old theatre. We still do.
I don't self-identify myself as only a nurse. I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, a granddaughter - those all come before being a nurse.
And I left hospital nursing over 10 years ago (I did ER/L&D/Acute) and started working part-time in hospice. Five years ago I started working part-time as a school nurse as well but left that job after 5 years. Now I'm working in Outpatient and wound care and I've had to get my skills back up to par . . .starting IV's came right back, caring for Central Line's and chemo, blood transfusions, etc. It didn't take me long.
The whole time I was in hospice, I let my ACLS, PALS, and MICN certifications go. I had to renew ACLS to work in outpatient and it is funny but the class is way different and easier than before.
I'm almost 59 years old - still do hospice and outpatient. I also go on medical missions to Vietnam. I don't think you should ever think you can't do nursing after some kind of break.
Congratulations on acceptance in a NP program!
Good for you!! But everyone's situation is different. I was very isolated and alone as I did not grow up in that area and therefore did not have roots. I won't go into my story but I know many people who felt the way I did. I started school when my child hit second grade.
You never know the situation until you walk a mile in another's shoes. I was relating to the OP as I understood her situation. I was in a similar one.
By saying, "I'm not trying to start a war, but......", in essence, you are. This is not what it was about. I was relating to the OP. That judgement can go on in one of those awful "mommy forums" that I refuse to take part of.
Good for you!! But everyone's situation is different. I was very isolated and alone as I did not grow up in that area and therefore did not have roots. I won't go into my story but I know many people who felt the way I did. I started school when my child hit second grade.
You never know the situation until you walk a mile in another's shoes. I was relating to the OP as I understood her situation. I was in a similar one.
By saying, "I'm not trying to start a war, but......", in essence, you are. This is not what it was about. I was relating to the OP. That judgement can go on in one of those awful "mommy forums" that I refuse to take part of.
When I first started on the internet, I became a member of a "mommy club" of sorts and I saw that awful stuff. Then I found AN and was glad.
I prefaced my comment because this subject can go the route of the mommy forums as you noted and that was the only reason I said it.
My comment was only about associating staying home with isolation and boredom.
I moved here with a one year old and was newly divorced. I didn't know anyone here except my own mom. It was tough at first but I got out and did some things to make myself part of the community.
I'm only saying you don't have to be isolated and it isn't fair to associate that with staying home with your kids.
To each their own about working or not while raising kids.
I had the luxury and was a SAHM for 10 years but I wasn't cut out for it like I am for nursing and working. I'm grateful that I could stay at home but much like some people work to live, I stayed home because it necessary for us, not for myself.
OP, I think I'd want to postpone school one year and get settled into a prn job then layer on school being in a better position to adjust my work schedule.
When I stayed at home exclusively the ONLY thing that saved my sanity was LA Fitness. Don't worry OP, you have lots of experience, a bachelors, and have only been out a year. You will get a job soon I am sure. Good luck with your NP!
Oh my goodness yes! My husband and I knew we wanted me to stay home with the kids, but I loved my career as a med/surg floor RN. I feel like I have found the best of both worlds by working PRN. My only requirement is to work one shift per month, but I usually work 1 night shift a week (on friday nights) and it works out really well for my family. I don't have any specific holiday or weekend requirements, which my husband really enjoys (we can finally have holidays together!). Now I definitely still feel a little wistful at times (when seeing co-workers doing clinical ladder and extra things I don't have time to do) and it has been a tough transition to go from being a super-motivated employee to a Mom who works once a week (I never feel like I am fully in the loop) but I know what we're doing now is whats best for my family and I'm sure I won't regret it. And I know once my kids get older I will be able to work more and contribute more in my workplace. If you're unable to find a PRN position at a local hospital maybe you can look into agency nursing since they are known to be flexible too? Hope this helps!
I can't believe you expect your house to stay clean when you have kids. That's just crazy. 
missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN
869 Posts
I was a stay-at-home mom prior to going to nursing school. Our story is similar. Husband found a job with excellent pay and great benefits, but it was 5 hours away from where we lived then. 9 months pregnant and ready burst, we moved to where we live now. No family, no friends, and as a workaholic I didn't have a job...it was quite the change.
Being a stay at home mom does change how you identify yourself, nurse or not. It can be lonely, tiring, and straight up difficult. You take the batteries out of toys and conveniently forget to replace them so you don't have to listen to the annoying song that your child loves. You're sleep deprived, money is tight, and you are in charge of household tasks. You miss adult conversation!
I took a job as a substitute teacher and worked on the days my husband was off. One of us was always home with our child, I still was able to kinda work yet still give my child the attention he needed. I don't regret not making "real" money during this time, but I also don't regret taking the job as a sub.
I hope you get a PRN job as a nurse. Just keep applying and eventually you'll get a job. I get it though, I totally get the craziness that staying at home provides. I wish you the best of luck!