Other people's ?s about your salary...

AirforceRN, RN · Jul 5, 2008

"I'll forgive you for asking that question is you forgive me for not answering it"

GIRN · Jul 5, 2008

That is such a rude question I never know how to answer. It's none of their business but I'm always afraid of hurting their feelings because obviously, they haven't learned social boundaries yet. I don't mind talking to my other close nurse friends about it...ones that work at other area hospitals, so we can assess if our salary is comparable and within the market base. But it's a mutually agreed upon conversation. But even within the same hospital, it's none of my business what others make and I would be very careful about asking. If someone outside of the healthcare field asks, I usually give them a very general payscale from the hospital and tell them it differs based on degree and experience. Would you ask your lawyer or insurance guy or hairstylist what they make? Cheesh!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 5, 2008

Most people I meet don't ask "how much do you make". In fact I can't remember the last time that has every happened. It's not socially acceptable around here.

If ever I am asked, I don't give it out. It's rude to ask someone's salary.

What I do get more often than not is "you're a nurse you can afford........" "you're a nurse, you make lots of money.......".

My response is sometimes to go along with it and laugh "oh yeah, I'm rich allright..." But usually it's "not really, I'm just middle class." and leave it at that.

meither · Jul 5, 2008

you tell them that you make pretty good money. You make enough to feed a family. And you should ask them how much they are making too.

That might stop the nosey from asking.

Another nurse asked me how much I am making one time at my work, and I told her I will get fired if I tell her. From then on, she never tried to ask me again.

sbenning5 · Jul 5, 2008

One thing I notice is that it's all perspective. Some people will think that $55K is a TON of $$ and others think it's pocket change.

I'd just say I make enough that we can afford a few luxuries but not enough for hubby to quit his job.

WineCountryRN · Jul 5, 2008

it is a rude questions but I think curiousity gets the best of most people. I had a friend who was convinced that I was making SO SO much money (six figures?). I was in shock b/c I was making less that she was thinking and I was also shocked that she was making almost as must as me at the time and she was a social worker. My son asks (he is a teen, looking at careers). I told him the truth so now he thinks I am truly his ATM but seriously, it depends on who is asking.

YOu could be general and say " I make as most as most new grads" or "Slighly more than the average new grad...etc" IF they persist you can tell them to look it up on-line...to see what the average nurse in your area makes. Every area is different and with shift differentials, etc it may not be what they expect.

good luck sister,

Annie

Altra, BSN, RN · Jul 5, 2008

That is such a rude question I never know how to answer. It's none of their business but I'm always afraid of hurting their feelings because obviously, they haven't learned social boundaries yet.

If an adult is truly that clueless as to ask the question ... I don't think you need to worry about singlehandedly penetrating that density and "hurting their feelings" when you decline to answer and change the subject. :cool:

"Wow, what a question. Do you ask that of everyone you meet?" ... might be one possible response.

This has nothing to do with nursing and everything to do with basic social etiquette that you would hope would be instilled in reasonably civilized adults.

danissa, LPN, LVN · Jul 5, 2008

We had this problem a wee while back at work, when the NHS payscale was switching to the agenda for change gradings. A lot of the older nurses with more experience than myself and my peers were misinformed that we had somehow come out of it better paid per hour than they were. And it was false, a rumour which could have got ugly. I lost count of the number of times I was asked how much I was on per hour...so when I was asked..I told them the truth, which proved that they still earned their entitled salary due to their experience, which was more than me and my peers and under. If I had kept it a secret, hadn't told them, then I felt it would have added to the rumour mill and any bad feelings. As it was, it was ok in the end.

Socially..its a different story, it's my buisness what I earn.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 5, 2008

no need for anyone to know how much i make unless i'm applying for a loan. so i just don't tell anyone. my father asked me one time how much i made, and i told him "i'll tell if you do." end of discussion. my husband has every reason know how much i make -- he signs the joint income tax return. but truthfully, he never remembers how much he makes much less how much i make! so when anyone asks him how much he makes, he says "i dare you to ask my wife." no one ever has!

Midwest4me · Jul 6, 2008

I would say: "I was raised to believe that such talk is personal business and that it's rude to ask such things..kind of like asking how much I paid for my truck or what color my underwear is." Only idiots ask personal questions.

Nurse Salt · Jul 6, 2008

Maybe I live in a different cultural climate or maybe my friends and I are just more open, but I would not be offended in the slightest if someone asked me this question... Although, many of my friends are nurses too so we are all around the same. I would, however, be taken aback if a stranger asked me, but offended? No. I would just tell them barely enough for my mortgage payment! Interesting thread, especially when contrasted to the ones asking how much we make!