Nurses General Nursing
Published Apr 5, 2017
From time to time I run into real gems of medical writing.
Levaquin 750 gm P.O. q. 48 hours for 2 more days
the trick is to find how many pills this will be
Can you?
3ringnursing, BSN
543 Posts
Bahahaha! I guess the words are technically correct, a foley is a tube. Still funny though. Impossible orders are funny, but I think my least favorite orders that I have received werean enema on a bed bound patient manual disimpactionnit picking/combing a patient with headlice (Who even has time for that on a med-surg floor?! ) I realize that they were all very necessary at the time. Still don't like them though.
Impossible orders are funny, but I think my least favorite orders that I have received were
an enema on a bed bound patient
manual disimpaction
nit picking/combing a patient with headlice (Who even has time for that on a med-surg floor?! )
I realize that they were all very necessary at the time. Still don't like them though.
You forgot lactulose enemas for those pesky high serum K+ patients.
Shame, it sounds like a fabulous order to me! When I worked in an outpatient chemo-infusion center one of the docs really wanted to be able to have a candy dish with Ativan in the waiting room...
Why stop there? Perhaps aerial spraying through the air vents for the whole unit?
Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN
6 Articles; 11,682 Posts
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Aww man! They stole my idea!
djh123
1,101 Posts
Perhaps you should have called the provider to ask, "So, just to clarify … you don't want me to use spit, or toilet water to clean this wound, right?".
Ha ha. Or re: my idea w/the mechanic's rag: "It's OK if there's just a LITTLE grease on it, right?".
Dafabb, LPN
123 Posts
Now how did YOU handle that last one....Me of course would have put signs right over the areas of necessity...among other things:cheeky:
canoehead, BSN, RN
6,890 Posts
Had a GI doc once that, when he would get mad about something thenursing staff supposedly missed.. would WRITE an order that said"Write an incident report about ___"
nursing staff supposedly missed.. would WRITE an order that said
"Write an incident report about ___"
I've seen that many times. If they want an incident report written they can do it themselves. I'm going to write one about the doc who mentioned an incident report in the chart, because now it's discoverable.
Here are my favorites:"Dopamine 5 mcg/kg/min forever""Flower care every 24 hours." (Yes, water and deadhead the patient's flowers.)"Yes I DO want ABGs q 1 hour JUST LIKE I'VE ORDERED THREE TIMES IN THE PAST FOUR HOURS AND I DON'T CARE THE THE PATIENT IS A DNR AND DOESN'T HAVE AN ART LINE." (Order took up two pages in the handwritten order section.)"Ambulate patient at 0800, 1100, 1400, 1700 and 2000." The patient weighed 450 pounds, had part of one foot amputated and hadn't actually stood for three years. He had one of those scooter things -- came in on it and it was stored in the room. The patient ended up calling the doctor's office and telling him what a stupid order it was.
"Dopamine 5 mcg/kg/min forever"
"Flower care every 24 hours." (Yes, water and deadhead the patient's flowers.)
"Yes I DO want ABGs q 1 hour JUST LIKE I'VE ORDERED THREE TIMES IN THE PAST FOUR HOURS AND I DON'T CARE THE THE PATIENT IS A DNR AND DOESN'T HAVE AN ART LINE." (Order took up two pages in the handwritten order section.)
"Ambulate patient at 0800, 1100, 1400, 1700 and 2000." The patient weighed 450 pounds, had part of one foot amputated and hadn't actually stood for three years. He had one of those scooter things -- came in on it and it was stored in the room. The patient ended up calling the doctor's office and telling him what a stupid order it was.
My aunt's nursing school text from 1945 has a chapter devoted to flower arranging and care. We've come a long way baby.
Had a patient with SBP in the 80's and a full code. The doc's order was to stop taking vital signs. (and stop calling him in the middle of the night)
roser13, ASN, RN
6,504 Posts
"NPO until extubated."
Um, yeah, because I was planning to push a cheeseburger down that ET tube.
mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN
3,235 Posts
Extubate member??BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best one EVER
blondy2061h, MSN, RN
1 Article; 4,094 Posts
"NPO until extubated."Um, yeah, because I was planning to push a cheeseburger down that ET tube.
But the second he's extubated, get the cheeseburger!
PANYNP
105 Posts
Dinosaur here.
I remember orders like that. What it means is "Don't call me".