Surgeons who make me cry!!! - page 2
Hi everyone Im new to the OR 8 weeks now, and there is one arrogant surgeon who treats everyone like crap. Well most people have learned to put up with him. Twice now he has brought me to tears,... Read More
Sep 24, '07Occupation: CRRN, now a case management RN Specialty: Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych ; From: US ; Joined: Feb '05; Posts: 38,032; Likes: 69,287Quote from pamc217Nobody else can make you cry unless you give them permission. No one else can bring you down unless you permit them to get to your head. You're giving this surgeon too much power over your thoughts and emotions. In other words, toughen up!Twice now he has brought me to tears, once I had to break scrub and get a replacement.
Quote from pamc217Please don't cry over another rude surgeon again. I am assured that the surgeon who is rude will not be losing any sleep over you, so don't allow him to rent space inside your head. He won't lose any sleep over you, and he won't shed a tear over you. Power perceived is power achieved, so stop giving him power over you. Again, toughen up!Any suggestions on what I can do to be able to control my tears and not break down, because my nose starts to run etc.
Sep 29, '07Occupation: OR RN Specialty: 24 year(s) of experience ; From: US ; Joined: Jan '04; Posts: 91; Likes: 59WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???? Are we in the stone age? This bozo is creating a "hostile work enviornment" If the mgmt in the OR knows about this problem and does not address it, go wherever you must. Right up to the CEO. Maybe the stress will make you feel ill and employee health will get involved. How about an ethics hotline? If you just bite your tongue, you are teaching him how to treat you!
I worked with an orthopod for about 6 mos before I had enough of the torture. He really got a kick from seeing which nurse he could bring to tears. I finally told him he was acting like a horses butt (ok, maybe not that nicely). He laughed and now he respects me. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, we, as nurses, teach people how to treat us.
Sep 29, '07Specialty: OR ; Joined: Apr '05; Posts: 159; Likes: 13Well, I know this contradicts my earlier post about being professional... but I am only human. What I said to a surgeon the other night, "you can be a jerk all you want, I have dealt with bigger jerks than you, but you can keep trying to be number 1!"
The patient said he did not know about some things on the consent, so I asked the surgeon to explain them to the pt. He refused. I told him we wouldn't bring the patient in until he explained - it is called an INFORMED consent afterall. He still refused and said I was pulling a power play! Then he said he would let the case be delayed and went and sat in the corner. I told him delaying the case doesn't hurt me - I'd be there all shift, but the pt, who was NPO for 23 hours might mind. It finally got worked out and after the case the surgeon said "thanks everybody" before he left the room. We'll see how he is next time I have to deal with him...Maybe he was just having a bad night.
Sep 30, '07Occupation: tech Specialty: none ; Joined: Sep '07; Posts: 9i would accidentally cut him with a scalpel.
Oct 9, '07Occupation: CST, CFA Joined: Dec '06; Posts: 454; Likes: 117Yes, never let them get you to the point of crying but if you do, don’t do it in front of them. I have seen one girl keep being eaten alive because the once the doc seen he could make her, he did.
Interpersonal Communications shows us that you are the one who decides how to interpret the message that was sent. No one makes you do anything, it is you who decides that you will react and how you do it. Don’t fall victim to his/her games.
If you work at a smaller facility, you are more expandable than the doc. I would be careful to the extent of my complaints to upper management but I would not be abused either.
From your post in mid Sept. it sounds you have worked it out! Good luck!
Oct 19, '07Occupation: Clinical Nurse Specialty: 6 year(s) of experience in Operating Room Nursing ; From: AU ; Joined: Oct '07; Posts: 1,390; Likes: 2,128Hi Pam.
When i started in the OR about a year ago i could not believe the attitudes of some of our surgeons. But what really hurt me when i was learning and tolerating the verbal abuse of not knowing instruments, draping etc was the senior nurses standing there DOING NOTHING. My advice to all senior OR nurses reading this is when a surgeon is having a go at someone new don't just scurry off to do his/her bidding, stick by your work mates, tell them their fantastic when their being yelled at and don't let this type of behavior continue!
My advice, if he yells or gets abusive, strip off your gloves and threaten to unscrub. You should not have to go through this type of abuse.
Oct 19, '07Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 8,764; Likes: 8,499Laugh at him, he's just a two year old having a big old temper tantrum.
Ask him if he needs a nap.
Oct 19, '07Occupation: RN Specialty: Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych ; Joined: Feb '07; Posts: 894; Likes: 1,097I wouldn't let him back me down. This is behavior that is, unfortunately, prevalent in the OR. Surgeons have a terrible god-complex. Be professional, be courteous, be strong. You may have to ignore him to a large degree. If he is rude or inappropriate to you than you need to explain that to him. Say, "That is inappropriate behavior." Or, "That is considered very rude to talk to me like that." Or, "Please don't talk to me like that." Then, document up the chain of command. His horrible pattern of behavior continues because it is being allowed to continue. We are not in the 1950s anymore. You are not his personal servant whom he can disrespect.
Oct 24, '07Joined: Nov '05; Posts: 44; Likes: 20What I do is when they start on me Is I get real quiet and stern faced. Don't say anything (Or immediatelly say something it all depends on the Monkey you're Scrubbing with) Don't say I'm trying my best or, It's my first time or anything self depreciating. Don't try and verbally battle them (They've all recieved this same abuse going through Medical School and Residency) because their better than you. Document any and all abuses. Take them to your supervisor and request you not work with the surgeon. If you are forced find another hospital to work at and let your supervisor know you're doing this. Life is too short to deal with that kind of abuse.
Dec 9, '07Joined: Oct '06; Posts: 18Hey Pam,
You need to get thick skin if you are going to make it in the O.R.
Unfortunately, it is the nature of this beast.
Rule #1. Say to yourself, "Thank God I do not have to home with this
Rule #2. Do not waste good mascara on anyone
Best of luck to you!
Dec 9, '07Joined: Oct '06; Posts: 18sorry for the error,,, Just say "Thank God I do not have to go home with this person"
Dec 11, '07Occupation: Clinical Nurse Specialty: 6 year(s) of experience in Operating Room Nursing ; From: AU ; Joined: Oct '07; Posts: 1,390; Likes: 2,128[You need to get thick skin if you are going to make it in the O.R.
Unfortunately, it is the nature of this beast.]
This sort of attitude really doesn't help at all and just exacerbates the problem. If you justify the behavior with comments like this then the cycle will just continue and nurses will have to put up with more crap from surgeons.
Dec 11, '07Joined: Nov '07; Posts: 504; Likes: 207I know it is easier said than done, but you can't let it get to you. There are horrible people everywhere. Surgeons seem to be a special breed, and some worse than others, but even in other nursing specialties you will have to deal with jerk docs....and nurses, and aides, and patients, and families, etc. If you leave nursing, same thing. There are good and bad people everywhere. You can't let their negativity get to you, or their meanness affect your life. Then they win. People offered great advice. You have to decide what works for you. If it were me....I would act professional and polite, but not go out of my way to be nice. And don't make excuses (you are new, trying the best you can, etc. That will just feed their fire). If they get plain nasty, I would get nasty back. Some will actually respect those that stand up to them. And if they don't, they at least know you are not weak and won't take it, and they will back down. You are in control, not them. They need you, not the other way around. I would like to see a surgeon do his or her job alone, with no support from nurses and techs.