Surgeons who make me cry!!!

[pamc217]

Hi everyone

Im new to the OR 8 weeks now, and there is one arrogant surgeon who treats everyone like crap. Well most people have learned to put up with him. Twice now he has brought me to tears, once I had to break scrub and get a replacement. I am not doing anything wrong, but its his demeaning tone of voice, like how dare I talk back to him. Other than him i like my job. I have to scrub for him on monday and it has ruined my weekend thinking about it. Any suggestions on what I can do to be able to control my tears and not break down, because my nose starts to run etc. You know how bad that can be when your scrubbed. I know everyone says dont let it bother you hes just a jerk etc. But thats not helping me at this point,. HELP!!!

Pam:angryfire

[Scrubby]

[You need to get thick skin if you are going to make it in the O.R.

Unfortunately, it is the nature of this beast.]

This sort of attitude really doesn't help at all and just exacerbates the problem. If you justify the behavior with comments like this then the cycle will just continue and nurses will have to put up with more crap from surgeons.

[Satori77, ADN]

I know it is easier said than done, but you can't let it get to you. There are horrible people everywhere. Surgeons seem to be a special breed, and some worse than others, but even in other nursing specialties you will have to deal with jerk docs....and nurses, and aides, and patients, and families, etc. If you leave nursing, same thing. There are good and bad people everywhere. You can't let their negativity get to you, or their meanness affect your life. Then they win. People offered great advice. You have to decide what works for you. If it were me....I would act professional and polite, but not go out of my way to be nice. And don't make excuses (you are new, trying the best you can, etc. That will just feed their fire). If they get plain nasty, I would get nasty back. Some will actually respect those that stand up to them. And if they don't, they at least know you are not weak and won't take it, and they will back down. You are in control, not them. They need you, not the other way around. I would like to see a surgeon do his or her job alone, with no support from nurses and techs.

[lostfromlatex]

Scrubby,

I am sorry you misunderstood my comment, I was merely adding a little levity to the situation.

As for Satori's comment about "getting nasty back", completely unprofessional.

We all have to remember that we are there for the patient lying on that o.r. bed.

One thing to try to understand is not to take it personal. Nine times out of ten the surgeon is yelling at the situation. If he/she makes it personal, conduct yourself in a professional manner and finish the case. You can address this surgeon afterwards privately. You may try the approach that "I treat you with respect and expect it in return." This may or may not solve the problem, but you will have gained confidence in facing a person who can be intimidating.

I wish you all the best!:welcome:

[CardioTrans, BSN, RN]

I realize that this is an older post, but just wanted to add to it.........

Many years ago I worked in the OR.... it was a small OR, so we scrubbed on all cases.....OB/GYN, vascular, general and orthopedics.......Well, we had 2 ortho docs.......and of course they were competitors........

Each one of them had their own "team" of a circulator and a scrub nurse. The only time we had to scrub or circulate with the other ortho was on call......... Well I had been there about 3 yrs...always scrubbing mainly ortho...but would still do other surgeries as well......... Wouldnt you know that I had to scrub with the ortho doc that I hardly ever worked with.........ok, ortho surgeries are ortho surgeries...... the docs prferences are different...that was about it...........During that case he just kept on and on about "having to work with Brand X's nurse"..being a royal jerk.... would throw tantrums like a 2 yr old......... I had finally had enough after about an hour........I had bit my tongue and had maintained my composure until he made one last comment.......and finally I had to say something......... I threw the mallet up on the mayo stand, crossed my arms, looked directly at him and said "Look, I am the best that you got.....either you can deal with it and we get through this case, or you can do it by your da** self"!!!

Needless to say the entire OR got really really quiet....... In all the years he had been working there, I was the only one who ever stood up to him. Everyone had wide eyes, looking back and forth between the two of us......... he himself was stunned that I had actually said anything to him. After the shock wore off of him.......he said "Well, ok then...lets do this"......... After the case was over, he came up to me and told me that he appreciated me standing up to him and that I "may be little, but knew when to stand up" I worked there for 3 more years after that and we never had another problem........ matter of fact he even began requesting me on more of his surgeries.

Stand up to the surgeon you mentioned. You may shock everyone in the room, but he will know that you will not be treated like a doormat.

Good luck to you!

[lostfromlatex]

Excellent example ,,,,been there,done that

[Satori77, ADN]

I realize that this is an older post, but just wanted to add to it.........

Many years ago I worked in the OR.... it was a small OR, so we scrubbed on all cases.....OB/GYN, vascular, general and orthopedics.......Well, we had 2 ortho docs.......and of course they were competitors........

Each one of them had their own "team" of a circulator and a scrub nurse. The only time we had to scrub or circulate with the other ortho was on call......... Well I had been there about 3 yrs...always scrubbing mainly ortho...but would still do other surgeries as well......... Wouldnt you know that I had to scrub with the ortho doc that I hardly ever worked with.........ok, ortho surgeries are ortho surgeries...... the docs prferences are different...that was about it...........During that case he just kept on and on about "having to work with Brand X's nurse"..being a royal jerk.... would throw tantrums like a 2 yr old......... I had finally had enough after about an hour........I had bit my tongue and had maintained my composure until he made one last comment.......and finally I had to say something......... I threw the mallet up on the mayo stand, crossed my arms, looked directly at him and said "Look, I am the best that you got.....either you can deal with it and we get through this case, or you can do it by your da** self"!!!

Needless to say the entire OR got really really quiet....... In all the years he had been working there, I was the only one who ever stood up to him. Everyone had wide eyes, looking back and forth between the two of us......... he himself was stunned that I had actually said anything to him. After the shock wore off of him.......he said "Well, ok then...lets do this"......... After the case was over, he came up to me and told me that he appreciated me standing up to him and that I "may be little, but knew when to stand up" I worked there for 3 more years after that and we never had another problem........ matter of fact he even began requesting me on more of his surgeries.

Stand up to the surgeon you mentioned. You may shock everyone in the room, but he will know that you will not be treated like a doormat.

Good luck to you!

Great story! And this was exactly what I meant when I said "get nasty back". I am always the consumate professional, even when dr's are being jerks (and if you think all veterinarian dr's are nice because they are animal lovers, think again). But I had one (yes a surgeon), get totally mean and inappropriate to me, actually calling me names that I can't even write on here, and I stood up to him. Told him that I am damn good at my job and that I deserved to be treated with respect. Just because something was going wrong, he had NO right to take it out on me (it was a problem with faulty equipment because he was too cheap to get it fixed/replaced). He never called me names again.

[Scrubby]

lostfromlatex-I didn't mean to snap at you but i get a little bit emotional about this subject. When i started scrubbing in the OR i had several bad experiences with surgeons yelling at me, and the older nurses with the attitude that this was normal behavior just stood there and let me deal with it. Theres nothing worse than having a surgeon yelling insults and throwing instruments on your mayo table, especially when your new.

I do agree that you need to be professional but sometimes for your own sanity you need to do what Satori described at nip it in the bud there and then. The surgeons often conveniently leave the theatre when the patient needs to be transfered, room cleaned etc so there is not much opportunity for a private chat.

[Satori77, ADN]

I agree Scrubby. I have dealt with people with bad attitudes, and I can usually ignore it. But when I am being called a stupid b*tch, c*nt, and other similar derogatory terms, sorry, but I can't ignore that. THAT is unprofessional, and anyone that would do that to another human being is disgusting and doesn't deserve respect. Do your job, of course, because the patient needs and deserves the best possible care, but you don't have to be nice to someone like that.

[ebear, BSN, RN]

Satori,

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

I'd have my butt in an attorney's office so fast your head would spin! This type of workplace abuse and harassment DOES NOT have to be tolerated! It makes my blood boil to even read that you were called these names!:angryfire As the circulator, I'd have ripped him a new one right then and there--TRUST ME ON THAT!! Of course, I, like everyone else have had to put up with certain abuses that just go along with O.R. nursing, but these personal attacks are quite a different matter.

ebear

[IsseyM]

Satori,

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

I'd have my butt in an attorney's office so fast your head would spin! This type of workplace abuse and harassment DOES NOT have to be tolerated! It makes my blood boil to even read that you were called these names!:angryfire As the circulator, I'd have ripped him a new one right then and there--TRUST ME ON THAT!! Of course, I, like everyone else have had to put up with certain abuses that just go along with O.R. nursing, but these personal attacks are quite a different matter.

ebear

I agree!

[ebear, BSN, RN]

Satori, I see you're a vet. tech. That doesn't matter. Don't you put up with that--PLEASE!!! Is this typical of vet medicine??? (OR)

ebear

[IsseyM]

Satori, I see you're a vet. tech. That doesn't matter. Don't you put up with that--PLEASE!!! Is this typical of vet medicine??? (OR)

ebear

Hey ebear,

I know you were asking Satori a question, but i wanted to get in on this since i was a vet assistant. Vets can be just as nasty as the surgeons in the OR. So far i got more attitude and yelled/snapped at by vets. But this is not typical behavior in vet medicine...that i have experienced. They have their good days and their bad days. Gee, did i hate those bad days.

I remember this vet yelled at me so loud i thought i was going to pee in my pants, i was only 18 at the time and very very sensitive (no skin), just out of school. I never had anyone yell at me like that besides my parents but thats different. This idiot who called Satori those awful names needs to be seriously checked, serious issues. I can't understand how people can be so cruel. That is just wrong and i hope he gets in huge trouble someday.