Open confrontation with unit attending-advice?

[All4NursingRN]

So this incident was not really even a comfrontation, more of a bizarre occurence. I was having a one on one discussion with a colleague regarding time off. I was telling her that I wanted to request 4th of July off and that i hadn't requested time off since the beginning of the year . All of a sudden the attending jumps in on my conversation from behind me railing. "If you think you're going to get any time off on a holiday your head must be so far up your rectum" "if your are going to get that holiday off you have to work memorial day or some other holiday" " Ive worked every holiday in here and if i was your manager...on and on he goes...and I'm going to be in a really bad mood because I have to be on call every day next month" Then he goes on to say that he has to take extra call because another attendings family member is sick and how unfortunate that is conversing as if he wasn't just a huge jerk 30 seconds ago?????

I was beyond shocked and blindsided to say the very least. I have never had any conversation with this man at all and even the resident who he was on rounds with looked confused and shocked. Thankfully I didn't react in the manner he came at me with.

I know my co-workers don't like this doctor and now I have experienced why. I work nights so I've never really been around this guy.

I left work more confused, disrespected and shocked as this is someone who has no say in nursing whatsoever. Furthermore my manager will work the schedule to staff needs the best he can even if he can't approve special time off. But again why this attending thought that was any of his business I really don't know.

At first i was going to let it go due to the sheer weirdness and obsurdity of the entire incident but now the day after I feel i shouldnt let it go. That was beyond rude. I've never even had a nurse colleague speak to me like that... No one ever, especially with such language, there was staff and patient family all around. So now I'm wondering what course of action should I take?

Union Rep

HR???

[NotAllWhoWandeRN, ASN, RN]

Turn away and slam the door.

[Farawyn]

"Fart in his general direction."

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Instead of leaving feeling confused, disrespected and shocked I would have figured he was having a bad day and walked away from it. Everybody's entitled to a bad day. It is a proven axiom that nothing can disturb you if you refuse to be disturbed,

Hppy

[needlesmcgeeRN, ASN, RN]

Definitely a weird situation, in light of the fact he has nothing to do with your schedule, but perhaps he is frustrated by his own schedule and (albeit inappropriately) taking it out on you.

Unfortunately, I am not sure there is really any recourse here.

[OCNRN63, RN]

Was this the first person who was ever rude or boorish to you at work? I wanna live in your world.

Master the Withering Stare. Shake it off. Avoid. You have bigger fish to fry.

Now see, I would have stopped talking and given him my stare with my head c@cked to one side and eyes slightly squinted, as if to say "Oh, you? You have something to say about this?"

There really isn't anything to do about this. I'd just let it go; like others have said, you have to ask yourself if this is the hill you want to die on. It sure wouldn't be for me.

[OCNRN63, RN]

Additionally, when one has conversation at the nurses station, that can be overheard by others, you can more than likely expect a lot of input from said others.

A reasonable expectation is to not have conversations of a personal nature at the nurses station, especially when the attending is sitting there attempting to work, and one is going on and on about time off/holidays, etc. Most find that distracting. Depending on the personality of the MD, you could have ended up with "ok, then, I have never had a holiday off. Are you going to take off my orders now, or shall we discuss your holiday some more?'

A reasonable expectation is for people not to interject their opinions in what is obviously a personal conversation, no matter where it takes place. Have manners gone the way of the mastodon?

[DeeAngel]

I would write an incident report and turn it in. Might as well start getting his behavior put into documentation with the hospital.

[nurseinthezoo]

Never be blindsided and shocked by the level of stupidity the human tongue is capable of producing.

[hwknrs, BSN]

I would probably just smile sarcastically and say ok and then ignore. I'd have a good laugh about it with my work buddies later. I don't generally report things like this. I save it for when pt care and or safety is compromised. Sounds like he's just jealous and unhappy with his own life

[Lad345]

You should have probably told him to hold that thought, went to wherever your supplies were, and came back with a fresh blanket, some warm milk, and a few Graham crackers. Then sit him down and ask him how being scheduled makes him feel.

I'm from the southeastern U.S., and personally I think I'd have likely clicked my tongue, given him a great big smile, and told him, "Well, bless your heart, how unfortunate for you. I'm sorry to hear that". And then turned my back to him. Then to add insult to injury, I probably would have lightheartedly asked my coworker if he or she cared to accompany me for a stroll to go put the time request in, while I still had it fresh on the brain.

I've found in my years of nursing that the best response to unsolicited, unprofessional, and uncouth aggression from notoriously grumpy MDs is to clap right back at them with your best good-natured, jovial demeanor and a jokingly sarcastic answer. Then just leave them be to fume and let the nearest know how important and angry they are like a petulant child. Going to your higher up may help, and you're certainly right to do so if you choose because no one should speak that way to anyone, but if he has a reputation he may have been reported before. He honestly may just not care.he could even take being reported as a sign that he's intimidating and feared, which might translate to "respected" to him, if he's the self-important type.

MD personalities range the whole spectrum, just like they do in nurses and other HCPs. There's a few abrasive MDs with no comprehension of basic etiquette and zero social skills for every couple of ever-negative, sour-faced nurses that are always having the dreaded, apocalytic *WORST ASSIGNMENT EVER*.

I think the most deflating thing you can do with an erratic, aggressive MD like that is to just casually brush them off, crack a joke, and walk away as though they aren't much more worthy of attention than a bratty, barking chihuahua. Sounds like he may have wanted to beat up on you just to blow off stream about what a sore loser he is, and to see you phased might make him feel justified and like he "put you in your place".

Next time, don't give him the satisfaction. Keep your body language relaxed and smile. Let him work himself into a tizzy, until everyone's looking at him thinking how pitiful and pathetic it is to see a grown man having a temper tantrum. Nine times out of ten, they just sulk away in a huff. His bad vibes and attitude are his problem, don't allow him to shove them in your face and unnerve you. Let him sulk away with his black cloud feeling ashamed and looking silly. Maybe he'll be forced to do some introspection and work on self-regulating his emotions like an adult.