Published May 18, 2006
Antikigirl, ASN, RN
2,595 Posts
Due to a few people, including myself that thought that the hemophobic thread was homophobic and stated such...here is a homophobic thread...lets keep it nice now :).
I too (as one person stated) had a male homosexual whos partner was his MPOA. Sadly, most of the information was told to the patient and not his partner. His partner was so confused about the pts care, what the plans were, and was trying so hard to arrange after care that would fit their needs. No one really would discuss it with him, even though he proved he was a MPOA.
TILL I came along! I got everyone involved together and we discussed our short term and long term goals in a way both patient and partner could understand. There was quite a family dynamic involved with the pts family (against the pt being homosexual with a partner..they treated the partner like slime!), but the partner was the LEGAL MPOA! So I got in there and made it clear to everyone :).
It all worked out great, all sides were happy...(the patient was suicidal and depressed when he came in, so he wished to go to a psych inpatient to get better...bless his heart! He was so saddened by this family/partner fight he was just so sad looking and you can tell he just couldn't take it anymore!!!). And the MD's and RN's felt that they did actually get the info to the right persons involved and felt good about it. It was just that no one really got into that situation deep enough to figure out whom they should be talking with r/t the dynamics and fragile nature of the patients mind (we didn't want him to kill himself over his family and partner fighting!!!).
But would this have been the same if this was a married hetrosexual couple???? Would the wife or hubby automatically get the info with no question???
Makes me wonder....
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
11,305 Posts
I didn't even click on that thread since I'm not afraid of blood.
As to this subject, we have men and women who live together without the legal benefits of marriage and they are patients too. All it takes is the patient's permission to share personal info. And that isn't hard. Unless they are comatose - and hopefully they will have made some plans about that although the sad truth is most of us haven't. Even me and I'm married.
steph
:) I have! Thank goodness! I also have who may hear my condition at all times and listed 1st person on...
My hubby and I (and our parents) have all filled out POLSTs (physician orders for life sustaining treatment...a shorter more logical version than an advance directive that is honored by paramedics..advanced directives gets tricky with paramedics around here since paramedics are private not state) as well....now the hard part...filling them out for our kids OUCH...but must be done!
With confidentiality laws...even a 14year old can have their medical info blocked from parents dependant! Great...we have to care for them and legally responsible till they are 18...but we can get blocked about med info??? Uhgggggggg...
I advise that everyone get a Polst or adv directive signed, and medical sharing for at least three people you choose to be in your best interest! That goes for anyone no matter what race, creed, age, sex, or sexual preference!
TazziRN, RN
6,487 Posts
So sorry that happened to your pt and his partner. I agree, if they had been a hetero couple the info would have been shared.
mandana
347 Posts
Yay you!
So glad you defended the rights of your patient and his partner. I shudder at the thought of what it would be like for my husband to be ill and for his health care team not to share information with me.
I'm sure that if it had been a hetero couple, the partner would have received full disclosure. But, I hope I'm wrong about that.
Amanda
jonear2, RN
94 Posts
sorry I thought this was a thread about fear of blood...LOL.
traumaRUs, MSN, APRN
88 Articles; 21,268 Posts
In mental health issues, substance abuse issues and pregnancy, a child at the age of 12 (in IL) can make their own decisions and do not have to allow disclosure to the parents.
Roy Fokker, BSN, RN
1 Article; 2,011 Posts
Hmmm - y'know what's funny?
All the times I've been on the floor as a student or as a preceptee, my nurses made sure I worked my tail off.
To the point I didn't really stop and think "oh, they're a gay couple". I pretty much asked who the relation was and if it was ok to disclose information.
Never really stopped to wonder about the "nature" of their relationship.
You know what bothers me about this? If my daughter were pregnant at the age of 12 and chose to terminate the pregnancy and I had no knowledge of the fact and she starts feeling ill but since I have no idea what happened I think it's a routine crud and dose her with some Tylenol and send her off to bed and head off to work only to find out later that she had a raging infection from an invasive procedure....I'd lose it.
Not because of the procedure, not because my 12 year old was sexually active (although yeah, that too), but because I didn't have knowledge of her health situation and mistreated her because of it.
Sorry, my kids have to let me in on all their health issues until 18. After that, it'll only be when I can pry it out of them.
vampiregirl, BSN, RN
823 Posts
Just a quick note, in some states POLSTS, as well as advanced directives cannot be honored by EMS personnel, including paramedics.
burn out
809 Posts
I respect and sympathsize with the problems homosexual couples face when entering into the hospital and not to minimize their pain but many heterosexual couples face similar night mares. For instance I am caring for a 49 year old man who is on vent and full life support in multi system failure and ruling out HIV. His wife has left him and moved to another state several months ago and no comes back and is made his medical surrogate because they were not legally divorced yet. He had living parents and children that could have been appointed why not one of them? Why not let his parents make the decisions since they gave him life why not let them decide on events that could help save it they don't stop being parents just because their child is over 21. If health care is totally relying on family court systems to fix these issues we are in sad shape. Did Terri Shivo teach us nothing?
You know what bothers me about this? If my daughter were pregnant at the age of 12 and chose to terminate the pregnancy and I had no knowledge of the fact and she starts feeling ill but since I have no idea what happened I think it's a routine crud and dose her with some Tylenol and send her off to bed and head off to work only to find out later that she had a raging infection from an invasive procedure....I'd lose it.Not because of the procedure, not because my 12 year old was sexually active (although yeah, that too), but because I didn't have knowledge of her health situation and mistreated her because of it.Sorry, my kids have to let me in on all their health issues until 18. After that, it'll only be when I can pry it out of them.
Yes, I feel the same way. I'm her MOTHER, I gave birth to her, I have some rights over what happens to my 12 year old daughter.
Making a rule or law for the small percentage of parents who might beat the crap out of their child for getting pregnant, makes no sense. I shouldn't be punished because of someone's else's reaction.
We live 70+ miles from the nearest city that does abortions. Someone would have to take my daughter from her school, drive her to this city and drive her home all without my knowledge. What happens if that someone gets into a car accident on the way? Who is liable then? Can I sue that person for injuries caused to my daughter in the accident?
It just seems nuts that I have to give the school my permission to give my daughter a Tylenol for a headache -yet they can whisk her off to an abortion and I would know nothing about it.
Nuts and screwy . . .