Off the wagon

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

Hi guys. I'm back and really feel rotten.

I'm Arwen and I'm a sugar addict. It is perfectly legal but it will kill me just the same if I don't stop eating it like crazy. I was doing really really well there for about a month. But I have lapsed back into eating it - way too much. My mistake for thinking I could have some 'just this once.' Bad idea. That started the whole thing up again.

I feel like I have to hide it from my husband and my son - partly because I know my husband will get onto me about it, and partly because I don't want to share. How selfish is that?! I feel like if I don't stop, my son is going to have a mother that can't play with him or go to his sports games etc. w/out embarrassing him. Worse yet, a mother that he's had to BURY. Ugh. I feel so gross. I don't like the way my body feels when I eat this much junk food. I don't like the way it looks. I just like the way the sugary stuff feels on my tastebuds; once that's gone, the thrill is gone. I'm just really really mad and disgusted at myself. Disgusted enough to stop doing it. Again.

So I'm quitting. Again.

I'm gonna get back up on that horse and ride. Will need all the prayers and good thoughts I can get though. Addiction sucks.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

((((Arwen))))

Been there and done that with my many addictions.

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Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

Bless your heart hon but I know you CAN do this once again.

I pray such strength for you at this time. :kiss

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

I know how it is to have a food addiction firsthand, Arwen. I have issues with sweets, too. If it were a matter of simple willpower, everyone in the nation would be slim and diabetes would not be an epidemic.

Here's a hug. (((hug))) :icon_hug: This is an uphill battle that you are perfectly capable of winning.

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.

Arwen, ma friend, I have both cigs and choc, these are my two vices! When I try to cut down on one, welll..the other rears its ugly head!

Best of luck in your quest to expel the bad stuff Arwen....I'm sure you will in the end find a way!

Hugs and Luck to ya babe!!!XC:yeah::yeah::yeah:

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I'm working on it - thanks to everyone for your support and hugs.

Some days are better than others. Today wasn't a good day - but tomorrow is another day.

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Food addict here, not sugar, I hate chocolate. Give me butter and cream gravy LOL. Most of the time I do it just because I can! The rest of the time I do it just because I want to. :( Then I had to find out why I wanted to. Now I know why I do it and I work toward not doing it. Does it work all the time? NO...LOL. But it gets better.

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Addiction is never easy to overcome- the beauty of recovery is that you NEVER have to do it alone! There is always someone who is either exactly where you are, or who has been where you are. Know that you are not alone in your struggle and that you ALWAYS have support if you reach for it like you did here. You are lucky to have motivating factors like a husband and a son in your life- even though at times you may not look at it that way. You can get through this, and just for today you are doing the right thing by reaching out and sharing about your problem- you never know whose life you may change just by sharing your personal struggle! Never give up on something you want (or something you want to quit!). Good Luck, a Big Hug, and many prayers are sent your way!

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Elvish, I'm another sugar addict, and I'm in your corner all the way, kiddo........it's my worst weakness! After all, one can stop drinking, smoking, drugging, sleeping around, gambling, or whatever, but one can't give up food---not entirely anyway---and sugar is EVERYWHERE.

I can't think of a worse addiction to have, and believe me, I've battled addictions of one kind or another all my adult life. Right now I'm doing a low-carb diet because I'm planning on having the lap-band (weight loss) surgery at some point, and one of the things they make you do before you ever set foot in the OR is lose at least 10% of your current weight. I know I can't stay with it forever, but I've already lost 10# in two weeks, I feel a hundred percent better without all that sugar in my system, and the cravings have more or less gone away.

While I wouldn't recommend eliminating ALL carbs from your diet, losing the "refined whites" (sugar, flour, rice, bread, and pasta) is a good start. You need some veggies and fruits, and while I feel better when I don't eat ANY bread or cereal, whole grain products are excellent for most people. The trick is not to take the diet to an extreme, like the Atkins diet which is made up mostly of meats, eggs, and cheese; after a while on that program, I would've traded my filet mignon for a week-old hotdog bun in a heartbeat!

I'm kind of winging it, sticking to low-glycemic-index foods and experimenting with seasonings to avoid getting bored, but I find that I'm able to do with much less food when I eat protein instead of cereal in the morning. I also don't feel sluggish and drowsy midway through the afternoon when I keep the carbs down at the noon meal. For supper/dinner (most days I eat the main meal at noon), I'll have some carbs in the form of veggies or whole-wheat bread along with small servings of meat or fish, and maybe some sugar-free Jello pudding or fruit for dessert.

We'll see how it goes, but I'm pretty happy with the results so far. And I really am not craving sugar nearly as much as I did at first; if I really want it, I'll have a couple of Fig Newtons or a few bites of ice cream, but no candy or soda pop....for me, consuming those two items is like mainlining sugar! I'm 'mildly' diabetic, so I really do have to watch my intake of all carbohydrates, but so far, so good; blood sugars have been running about 105 in the mornings.

Anytime you need a sympathetic ear, Elvish, just holler.....I can so totally understand the misery!!

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

Thank you so much, VLV. Those words of support mean a lot to me.

I know exactly what I have to do - it's just so flippin' hard to do it.

I've done it before, and once I get rid of the Mountain Dew & junk food, I lose weight and feel better. And you're right - after a couple weeks, the cravings go away. It is SO HARD to make the start!!!

:banghead:

I'm going to start again. In the morning.

Congrats on your weight loss!!!! :w00t:

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Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

Hang in there and remember one step and one day at a time. I too have a sweetness for sweet things but moving country I hope puts paid to a lot of stuff as I don't think the choc is as nice as the UK and making a more conscious effort ot to buy stuff when shopping. I have a list and try hard to stick to it and in general not doing to bad but I feel my downfall will be Tim Horton's coffee as I like the French Vanilla as sweet enough for me not to reach for the sugar

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Specializes in Geriatrics, med/surg, LTC surveyor.

Hang in there. We all have our vices, our way of coping with stress. Be kind to yourself. You are not a bad person, you have a bad habit. This is a very common addiction that is not recognized as one alot of times. I commend you for seeing it for what it is and doing something about it. God Speed!

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