Obsessed with death since entering the nursing profession

miamiguy · Mar 26, 2010

you have to talk to someone or find g-d death is natural. thats life

RunningRNBSN · Mar 26, 2010

I agree with "MiamiGuy" -- although my viewpoint might sound a bit "harsh", death is a natural part of the life cycle. I personally don't have any set beliefs of where someone goes when they die. When someone close to me dies, I grieve and then I get over it.. I find no point in trying to wrap my head around what happens to them after they die. They are dead... they have no more cares in the world, are pain free, and whether they are in "heaven" or not does not matter to me. I think people put way too much thought in to death -- grieve and deal with death how you want but I think people dwell on death far too long. Death simply sucks... but every living animal dies.. pay respect to your loved one, grieve, and then move on with life.

Purkinje · Mar 26, 2010

You might benefit from some Zen Buddhist readings on death. A lot of Buddhist practice focuses on how to realize and accept the inherent impermanence of everything -- death being a part of that, in a very natural, holistic way.

It's an interesting perspective and might give you a starting point to deal with your problems. The book "Buddhism without Belief" has a chapter on death and is a good starting point. Let me know if you'd like some others -- the internet has a lot of good writings on the subject, too. The cool thing is that you don't have to be a Buddhist or commit to any particular belief system to do the readings and take from them what you wish.

Hope this helps.

Mell Bell · Mar 26, 2010

Death bothers me too, you can go insane thinking about it. You have to just accept that it's a part of life, everyone dies. But that's easier said than done. It might be helpful to do a little research on different religions and how they view death, maybe you'll find something that will help. Also, try not to spend too much time thinking about it, get your mind off it and go out and do something fun.

Smitty08 · Mar 26, 2010

I agree with the posts above and I would add: Its interesting you state "I am a spiritual person but not a religious person" I would think that as a spiritual person, not a religious person you might be even a little further along on the journey about life after death or whatever understanding you come to about this important life issue. Certainly this is a major existential issue we all have to deal with as well as a spiritual issue. I deal with this with clients a lot and I encourage them to explore their beliefs and experiences to determine their own understanding of life/death. Personally I no longer believe in the death myth, having experienced myself out of body life and etc...however that is a personal experience which helps me - but not necessarily you or others. You need to find out what is true for you. Take a deep breath and realize maybe its a good thing that you are in a profession where you need to grapple with the issue. It will only move you onwards in your spiritual life. It's an issue many never deal with. Best of luck to you!

Tarabara · Mar 26, 2010

Personally I no longer believe in the death myth, having experienced myself out of body life and etc

what do you mean the "death myth" ?

mustlovepoodles, RN · Mar 26, 2010

I have honestly never feared death--well, I'm afraid of dying in terrible pain, but I'm not afraid of moving from this world to the next. Death will happen to all of us eventually. Simple as that. Nobody likes to think that their loved ones will die before us, because we don't want to feel that pain. But the truth is, unless we are very young we *will* experience at least a close deaths in our lifetime.

I think you have to find a way to make peace with the reality of life & death. My personal belief is that we all go to some hereafter. So, to my way of thinking, death is simply a different stage of life. My DH and my DS15 have terrible disabilities. DH will very likely die of respiratory failure in the next 5-10 years. DS is very mentally handicapped and has seizures. We take every precaution, but the fact is, he *could* escape from my grasp and run out in front of a car. He *could* die in his sleep from a seizure. I can't dwell on it. I can't grieve ahead of time, it's not healthy. If I think on it too long, it paralyzes me. And that's not good for my life in the present. I choose to be optimistic AND realistic, prepared for the possibilities but not so overly frightened that I can't enjoy my life.

If you really can't get ahold of yourself, I would recommend that you talk to a therapist to work it through. A few sessions might be very revealing to you.

topher-67 · Mar 26, 2010

Without getting religious, philosophical, or feelings of despair. Think of dying as you, your loved ones, or Pts. will no longer suffer, no longer care about the problems of everyday life, etc. We can remember those who have passed in words, photos, and video.

We don't know when our time is up, so why spend your life worrying about the end.

MaddieRN · Mar 27, 2010

nlhnurse1982,

John 3:16 gives me peace.

I wish you all the best,

Maddie

leslie :-D · Mar 27, 2010

i'm with smitty08.

really get in touch and explore your spiritual side.

for most of us, it brings us peace.

i would also recommend volunteering in an in-patient hospice unit.

you'll see lots of stuff that will/should open your mind.

leslie

MissSpectacular · Apr 6, 2010

I have become obsessed in a way also after watching several patients die with experiences that were, well, unusual. One particular patient constantly cried for two days about descending into flames, another spoke frequently of spirits in the room.