Obsessed with death since entering the nursing profession

[nlhnurse1982]

I have a problem that since I have started working as a nurse I am having real issues thinking about death and what happens afterwards and how i am going to cope when my loved ones die. Of course it becomes worse when I have a patient who dies. I am a spiritual person but not a religous person so I really do not have a set belief on what happens after we die. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced these feelings and how they coped with it or if anyone knows of any books out there that might be helpful. I really feel I need to get this under control for my own sanity and peace and so I can continue to function at my job. I am about to start working in a critical care environment so I know what I see is going to be worse. Thanks in advance for your replies.

[Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN]

Since I worked in ICU,CCU,and ER, I just don't fear death. My son died 5 yrs ago and I miss him becaused I loved him and missed his company. I very nearly died myself 25 yrs ago and since then I just feel it is so natural. We are born. We live, spend time with the ones we want too. And then we die and we all do this. No one gets out alive. What counts is the quality we make of it.

[DroogieRN]

I agree with the advice you've been given, but I wonder if it's not a little more difficult for you to just start thinking of it differently; after all, if it were that simple, wouldn't you have already done it? If this is really interfering with your life, might I suggest speaking with your family doctor? You don't have to live that way. Once your thinking is brought more into your control, then you might have a clearer head to deal with the "why's" and have a chance to deal with your feelings about everything. Just my

Best of luck to you.

[Smitty08]

In response to question "what do you mean about the "death myth" from another poster: I used that term because that is how I think of it. After one experiences OOB or life after death, one has to find a new way to think of the process of leaving one's physical body -either leaving it temporarily or permanently. The term "death" does not really apply, as "we" or conciousness - continues. At that point, the idea "we" go on is now longer a hope or concept or belief - but a REALITY. A process experienced. Hence, the word "death being a "myth" at least for me (and others.) Ok it sounds...uuummm...kooky...but its true for me.

[BluegrassRN]

I think this fear is not something that is going to go away anytime soon. It sounds to me like you need to do some reading and talking with others.

I am an atheist, so I'm not affiliated with any sort of church, but it seems to me like the Unitarians are some of the more, oh, philosophical. My oldest daughter occasionally goes to a unitarian church with a friend, and from what she describes, it truly is more of an academic exercise. Honest discussion about different religions, different philosophies, different belief and practices, is what my daughter tells us. Perhaps you can contact a few of your area religious leaders, including the head of the local Unitarian Church, regarding your discomfort, and see what they have to offer. If they have any suggestions on upcoming lectures, book or video suggestions, group discussions that they think might help you in your quest for understanding. If they make you feel weird or uncomfortable about it, then you know their organization won't be able to help.

I like reading fictional books about live beyond death. I honestly believe that when we die, NOTHING happens. You're just gone. Your consciousness ceases to function along with your bodily functions, and it's the end. But I like *imagining* the possibilities. Piers Anthony's "Death Rides a Pale Horse" (science fiction), Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven", "Millions" by Frank Cottrell Boyce, "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold are a few suggestions, if you are so inclined.