Nursing and sexual orientation

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Now I will say this. For the most part, I keep to myself. And my orientation is my business. I'm not going to be telling every person I pass, who I prefer to sleep with. Again, it's my business. And I also know that what you do with your personal life should never be mixed in with your work. But the reality is, it usually does. And people talk.

I've read various places on here that some of the female nurses can be pretty nasty. Do you honestly think that a person's sexual orientation is an issue? Particularly in nursing. No I'm not a man. I'm a woman. And I'm wondering if people are truly accepting. Especially since they are in the medical field.

I'm a gay man. In every single healthcare facility I've ever worked at in this country, I've observed, heard, and experienced discrimination based on my orientation or perceptions of my orientation. It's awful actually. So now, I just lie through my teeth. In fact, I don't even wait. Whenever I'm assigned to a new facility, I suss out the gossips and tell these gossips I'm engaged to a woman and let them spread the "isht" through the unit. The ones who seem to have the biggest issues, of course, are the heterosexual men who are themselves insecure to be in nursing in the first place but enjoy the living-wage salaries, benefits, and other material perks of the field. Most of them are middle-aged, fat, ugly republicans I wouldn't even touch with a ten foot pole if given the opportunity so I always find it hilarious when they think I'm going to hit on their pear-shaped asses. But to directly answer your question: if you're a gay man (not a lesbian - they have it much easier than we do) and you're still in the United States working in American facilities with Americans, it's much, much easier to lie about your personal life than it is to be honest. Women nurses usually don't have an issue with gay male coworkers until you **** them off: then, they use your "minority status" against you in retaliation. I don't care what anyone says about nursing being a "humane profession," this is still the United States and it's still the law of the jungle. If you're percevied as weak or different, you're going to suffer.

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Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.

I just dont get no matter how hard I try why people are mean to each other because some people just dont fall into the catagory of 'normal' for them.

What upsets me even more is how health care professionals who work and care for people contain some of the most horrible, racist, sexist, judgemental, critical individuals known to man!

What concerns me even more is if we treat our fellow co-workers so bad does this spill over into our patient care area? And who is protecting these vunerable individuals?

I dont care who you are what your sexual preferance, your color, your race, none of us are prefect in any way!

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Kansas was the worst, by far.

Interesting. I work in Kansas. It's probably my area of Ks, but we have several out gays and lesbians at our hospital, from aides to docs. I'm not gay, but a dear loved one is, and I feel I'm fairly sensitive to homophobia. Of all the various jobs I've held, this hospital in this town has definitely been one of the most gay friendly work environments I've ever experienced. Of course, most of our patient population would crap their pants (I mean, more so than usual) if they knew...it's still the bible belt. And there isn't a partner benefit, for any sort of domestic partner (gay or straight).

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Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.

I believe there is still discrimination against nurses and healthcare providers of alternative sexual orientation, especially in some parts of the country. When I lived and worked in an RN in a more conservative city in America, I saw alot of discrimination against gay nurses. I'm not sure if it's cause I worked peds and people didn't think gay men should be working with children or what, but my friend, a gay male nurse, was openly discriminated, called a "f" behind his back, and overall, had a completely hostile work environment.

I now work in a much more liberal city where I am pleased to say I haven't witnessed any overt discrimination. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but people seem to be more accepting here.

Also, I do take care of alot of patients with alternative lifestyles. Whether or not I agree or not with the choices they have made with their life should not and does not affect my care for them.

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Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

I think it is the culture of the hospital. Three women I work with are lesbians. No one thinks any differently than them. It is not like they talk about their sex life or anything. But neither do any of us in relationships with men.

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Specializes in LTC.
I think it is the culture of the hospital. Three women I work with are lesbians. No one thinks any differently than them. It is not like they talk about their sex life or anything. But neither do any of us in relationships with men.

I agree...I work in Missouri and it just depends on which facility you work at. Some are better then others, some like to gossip BADLY...god forbid you and a lady coworker are friends....if you know what I mean.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i just dont get no matter how hard i try why people are mean to each other because some people just dont fall into the catagory of 'normal' for them.

what upsets me even more is how health care professionals who work and care for people contain some of the most horrible, racist, sexist, judgemental, critical individuals known to man!

what concerns me even more is if we treat our fellow co-workers so bad does this spill over into our patient care area? and who is protecting these vunerable individuals?

i dont care who you are what your sexual preferance, your color, your race, none of us are prefect in any way!

i guess i'm just lucky. i haven't met any of the horrible individuals you refer to in the health care setting. now in law enforcement and fire fighting, that's another story. (or so i'm told by dh, who works with those guys.)

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, ED, Nurse Instructor,.
I'm a gay man. In every single healthcare facility I've ever worked at in this country, I've observed, heard, and experienced discrimination based on my orientation or perceptions of my orientation. It's awful actually. So now, I just lie through my teeth. In fact, I don't even wait. Whenever I'm assigned to a new facility, I suss out the gossips and tell these gossips I'm engaged to a woman and let them spread the "isht" through the unit. The ones who seem to have the biggest issues, of course, are the heterosexual men who are themselves insecure to be in nursing in the first place but enjoy the living-wage salaries, benefits, and other material perks of the field. Most of them are middle-aged, fat, ugly republicans I wouldn't even touch with a ten foot pole if given the opportunity so I always find it hilarious when they think I'm going to hit on their pear-shaped asses. But to directly answer your question: if you're a gay man (not a lesbian - they have it much easier than we do) and you're still in the United States working in American facilities with Americans, it's much, much easier to lie about your personal life than it is to be honest. Women nurses usually don't have an issue with gay male coworkers until you **** them off: then, they use your "minority status" against you in retaliation. I don't care what anyone says about nursing being a "humane profession," this is still the United States and it's still the law of the jungle. If you're percevied as weak or different, you're going to suffer.

I agree with you on certain points. The one point I dont agree with you is lying about your sex orientation. I feel a person needs to be true to themselves if not no one else. I do understand why you do it but why give them more to talk about. The gossip can be even worst for a person to deal with.

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, ED, Nurse Instructor,.
I just dont get no matter how hard I try why people are mean to each other because some people just dont fall into the catagory of 'normal' for them.

What upsets me even more is how health care professionals who work and care for people contain some of the most horrible, racist, sexist, judgemental, critical individuals known to man!

What concerns me even more is if we treat our fellow co-workers so bad does this spill over into our patient care area? And who is protecting these vunerable individuals?

I dont care who you are what your sexual preferance, your color, your race, none of us are prefect in any way!

You have a good point. What is normal?

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Education.

It makes me sad that in this day and age, people can't share their lives with their coworkers without fear of discrimination or hatefulness. I work at a very small facility and we are such a part of each others' lives. Of course, on a national political level, we have not done any better since some people are allowed to marry, others are not. But overall it just saddens me. I enjoy being around my coworkers and their partners, spouses, children, etc. I would welcome anyone who is friendly and would enjoy their company. My theory is that if I am not planning to sleep with that person, their sexual orientation and history is not my business to dig in, but I do feel sad that others might not choose to share an important part of their life due to biases they have encountered from others. If they just don't like sharing anything personal that is of course their business, but this life is too short not to make as many friends as you can. I think you will find many welcoming people. And those that don't welcome you aren't really worth knowing anyway.

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, ED, Nurse Instructor,.
It makes me sad that in this day and age, people can't share their lives with their coworkers without fear of discrimination or hatefulness. I work at a very small facility and we are such a part of each others' lives. Of course, on a national political level, we have not done any better since some people are allowed to marry, others are not. But overall it just saddens me. I enjoy being around my coworkers and their partners, spouses, children, etc. I would welcome anyone who is friendly and would enjoy their company. My theory is that if I am not planning to sleep with that person, their sexual orientation and history is not my business to dig in, but I do feel sad that others might not choose to share an important part of their life due to biases they have encountered from others. If they just don't like sharing anything personal that is of course their business, but this life is too short not to make as many friends as you can. I think you will find many welcoming people. And those that don't welcome you aren't really worth knowing anyway.

I could not have said it better. This is nothing but the truth.

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I just really hate when I hear comments from some of my peers. That for the most part make it difficult for me to really trust who I am with someone. Like when I have to hear someone say "They choose to be that way." Really? I choose to be a minority? I choose to like women? That's such bull. I love how sometimes people will contradict the ignorant. Even though they are straight, they will defend the gay community and say it's not a choice. That's how I can usually tell someone is actually worth talking to. I wish people would understand. Since I was little, I had to deal with understanding my feelings. I had no one to talk to because I was so scared. Why would I choose this? I just wish people would open their eyes and see the reality of things.

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