Nursing school students problem.is it racism???

[finegirl]

Disclamer- not intended to stir up any racial problems just need your opinions. Thanks

Hello everyone,

I am new on here. I will like everyone to shed some light on this issue.

I am a Bachelor's of science nursing student almost completing my degree (this year). just to make it clear. I am a minority student (black, indian, asian, arab). in my nursing school, most of the non minority (whites) student dont chat with we minorites, so we tend to chill together and say hi and bye to the non-minority any chance we get.

For group work, they dont do work with minorities. Everyone pair up with their friends or fellow non-minority. This makes it very difficult finding a group since there are few minorites. So, I decided to join a non-minority group for group work; my input was brushed to the side, the meeting times was never considerate with my availability knowing I go for clinicals at a different time of the day. This ends up translating to them reporting to the professor that I didnt work hard in the group, so i shouldnt be awarded any marks. How do i know this? after a group presentation I did with this people, my professor walked up to me and said my group members said I didnt input anything but from my presentation, she could see I understood/explained the concept very well. All this really discouraged me away from doing group work with non-minorities. Funny thing is, in class, i contribute alot, some know that i have high grades but still act that way.

Another thing that has been happening since the begining of nursing school. I really want someone to shed some (more) light into what am about to say. During clinical, minorities and non-minorities get along well, we talk, laugh, help each other and all. BUT, once we are in school, the non-minorites act like we have never met, even when you say "hi", they just ignore, frown, or never even try saying hello (90% of them). But when they need help they will message me on chat (messenger) for help. I want to understand this very well. Why act cool and nice in clinicals but once in school avoid me like a plague. I spoke to fellow minorities about all the above listed incident, they all said the same thing. This is so saddening that when i hear group work, i cringe and vow not to work in the hospital again since my location is filled with non-minorities in the hospital.

Sad thing is, you think someone is your friend but at the end they just act like u are an alien from another planet they have never seen in their life.. This are some of the things that made me not enjoy nursing school. Please respond since I will be done this year, I and some minorites have been surveying hospitals with lots of minority nurse to atleast make our first year of post grad experince transition smooth (i know even minorities cause problems for other minorities but thats a topic for another day).

Thanks in advance..

yours sincerely, finegirl

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

So where in Canada do you live?

I used to live in Vancouver and as a Canadian of European origin often felt I was the visible minority. I moved to the Prairies and was made to feel an outsider because I wasn't of Ukranian heritage. I travelled a lot in the US last year and never thought twice about whose table I joined at conventions, etc. But I did notice a difference in service when I joined a woman of colours table. We spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out if she was ignoring us out of spite and then we realized there was only two waitresses in a busy dining room with over 50 people on a Sunday.

When I attented nursing school, I was a mother over 40. There was only three other women in my class that had a similar background. So there was me, a woman of Somali origin and a First Nations person. We had to form our own little clique because for the first semester we were the outcasts. Knew our stuff, persevered and graduated. I don't see any of my "group" because we all went to different hospitals. Gradually, the "others" saw us not as a threat, not as their mothers but as fellow students. They didn't have to like us.

I still see the young, "cool" ones and get the odd nod. It's like others said you go to school for your education NOT to make friendships.

My colouring makes many think I'm Metis or Eurasian. So, I'm not that easy to slot. But I'm tired of people thinking the world is racist. People just don't like stepping out of their comfort zone, making new friends, wondering what their old friends will think of their new one.

While I don't think the whole world is racist. Racism still very much exists and I have personally seen a lot of it my whole life and still do.

[Servingshots]

While I don't think the whole world is racist. Racism still very much exists and I have personally seen a lot of it my whole life and still do.

I completly agree with you...I see racisim alot, it def. still exists. And its very easy for a minority to assume that someone has done this or that because of their color or appearence, because this is whats visible.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Before I start my little monologue, let me say that I do think racism, ageism, etc. exists.

However, I sometimes wonder when people start talking about cliques and stuff in nursing school (where 95% of the people did not know each other before walking in the door) how much of the exclusion is by assumption on the part of the excluder and excludee. (Just made up those two words...hope you like 'em!)

Think about it...you go into a situation in which you are a minority from the get-go (men, obvious ethnic background, obvious accent, older students, impoverished etc). You are naturally going to be wary of those who are more traditional for the setting: Western and Eastern European 18-20 something year olds with no accents. You hope you fit in.

Your apprehension might come off as being shy (which many people don't know how to handle), unwilling to mix in, etc. You might leave right after class and not hang around shooting bull. You might feel a little awkward asking for the last empty seat in a group of people.

I've often pondered that "Is that seat taken?" is one of the most difficult phrases for a human being to utter. We always look for the widest open space possible to sit in a room full of strangers, and our stomachs sink when there are only a couple empty seats.

Sometimes, I think it's a good idea for people who feel excluded to look at their OWN behavior first to determine if the exclusion was actually created by standing apart. You mentioned that they talk to you during clinicals, but not during more social times on campus...that you and your minority friends hang out together. Maybe the non minorities think you don't like them! Is it possible that the two groups are creating a separation based only on assumptions rather than true racism/reverse racism?

I'm an older student, so I'm sort of a minority in school. I'm not shy, so I talk to every single one of my classmates, but I do leave right after class (because of my family commitments), and I have been reluctant to ask for the last seat in a group of people at lunch or between classes. I got over that, though, and never once has anyone said, "Oh, that's taken." In fact, they've said, "SURE!" and included me in the conversation! I enjoy their company, but, as an older student, my life stage is so far removed from theirs that we probably wouldn't be friends out of school either, so I'm not hurt by it.

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

You are not there to make friends.

I never really get why people seem to like to say this so much. No, making friends isn't your primary reason for being in school, but making friends in my program has been one of the things that has really enriched the experience for me. We help and support each other and because we're going through the same program, we understand the stress we're under in a way that other people in our lives don't. Why shouldn't we hope to make friends in settings where we spend the majority of our time?

To the OP- I'm sorry those people at your school are being cold to you. I wouldn't avoid looking for jobs in places with a predominantly white staff just because of that though. Even if these students are acting out of racism, it doesn't mean you'd have a similar reception in the workforce.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I never really get why people seem to like to say this so much. No, making friends isn't your primary reason for being in school, but making friends in my program has been one of the things that has really enriched the experience for me. We help and support each other and because we're going through the same program, we understand the stress we're under in a way that other people in our lives don't. Why shouldn't we hope to make friends in settings where we spend the majority of our time?

Agreed. As I mentioned, I'm an older student, so I don't expect to be social with all these people after school, but it is certainly fulfilling to be friendly with them while we go through this journey together!

[Misslady113]

It's not racism. Everyone just hangs out with their own kind. Whites with whites, blacks with blacks, young with young, old with old. You even see it in the animal kingdom. Certain birds or beast stay with their own groups. You don't see lions hanging out with tigers. It's just natural. My fiance goes to cooking school with whites. When in school they get along great and he says it's because they all have that common bond of cooking. So they can relate to each other because of cooking. But take away the cooking, and there's not much in common. I myself don't really relate to whites too much. But I won't say it's because their white. I know a white girl who lives in my neighborhood who acts more "black" and we get along fine. So it really all boils down to what people have in common. Find that common bond and you can relate to each other, regardless of race or culture.:heartbeat

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I just want to add a scene that I remembered from a couple weeks ago after a test.

A bunch of us were sitting in the student lounge.

The Asian Indian and I (the whiter-than-white, my-family-discovered-Plymouth-Rock white) were helping the accented Caribbean-African woman with her dosage calculations homework. The Filipino girl who aspires to be a CRNA and the Greek chick with the chronic illness that she's managing quite well were throwing in suggestions. The Nigerian girl was rubbing my shoulders because I complained that my neck hurt. The Polish girl came up and offered us all Jelly Bellies as a job well done on the test we just took. The black chick with five kids and a job came up and grabbed some Jelly Bellies out of the container, too, then nearly gagged when she got a flavor she hated. We all laughed.

God, I REALLY love my school. :heartbeat

[TerpGal02, ASN]

I'm not sure what to make of your situation. I want to be optimistic and say it's not racism, but who knows anymore. I agree, racism is still very pervasive in our culture, its just not as blatant as it was in the past. About your clinical situation, I definitely feel like that happens in my clinical group, and we are all non-minority. We all get along very well in clinical. We have definitely gelled as a group in that arena, but there are a few students in my group that have their friends in other groups and won't give you so much as a hello in lecture. They are busy within their own clique. Who knows, it could be a little racism, and a little cliquishness.

[finegirl]

thanks everyone..am not even talking about being friends with them,just atleast act like we have met each other when we are in lectures not necessarily school socials...

thanks everyone

[goodstudentnowRN]

I have experienced the same attitude as finegirl, but hey, I graduated the top of my class! Many did not like it because of my race but they could not do a thing about it. Keep going girl, leave the segregation to people who have limited brain space...small minds think alike, maybe that is why they do not want you in their group. It is a terrible experience but keep your eyes on the prize!

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I am sorry you are feeling insecure and uncertain of how these folks think of you. It could be racism, it could be perception, it could be hormones, it could be just about anything. No matter where you go in life, you will find people willing to include and people anxious to exclude, and this is true for any person of any sex, race, age, weight or religion etc. The hardest thing socially is to keep yourself open, yet it is what you must do to find the quality people who make the world so much nicer to live in. Their motivations really mean very little; their actions can only damage you to the extent that you allow it. Nobody can make you feel small without your permission (Eleanor Roosevelt said that), and that is largely an internal thing. You have nothing to fear here and nothing to lose. If they are small enough to judge you poorly for any surface trait, whether the color of your skin, the texture of your hair, the whites of your eyes or the shape of your shoes...they are obviously not advanced enough in their own journey to match up well with yours. Everyone is in their own place spiritually, so to speak, with varying degrees of maturity. Allow them to be where they are, allow yourself to be where you are and keep your heart open to others who are in a similar place. Stay kind, stay focused, stay open and stay on course.

[DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN]

It sounds a lot like regular "stuff". Even the most open and fabulous people can tend to gravitate towards what they know/are comfortable with -- cliques or whatever.

On the first day of NS we all had to go around and introduce ourselves. The was a lovely woman from N Africa who made herself very vulnerable when she said she felt out of place and very different. In a million years I would never have done that. However, I think that she probably shared what everyone in that room thought themselves at some level when meeting new people that day.

Not that I am so silly as to not recognize that racism can and probably will occur during your career. I just bet that in nursing school most people are terribly self-obsessed, stressed and stick with what they know. They just don't know you, nor you them.

By the way, this same woman has become my closest friend in nursing school and I don't know what I would do without her. She has a terrificly different way of thinking about situations and I am thrilled to know her. She does get some racist stuff at work and clinical (from patients & family really) -- it makes me so angry on her behalf. It bothers her but she also has people (of all models and makes) that respect and support her.

I wish you all the best.