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Nursing School = Divorce???

Pre-Nursing   (15,199 Views 36 Comments)
by sherriberry1 sherriberry1 (New Member) New Member

sherriberry1 works as a 2009- 2011 ADN NURSING STUDENT.

2,837 Visitors; 94 Posts

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misslisa works as a RN.

2,230 Visitors; 68 Posts

I've never heard of that...

I think I'd go with the general consensus here - more than likely the were problems percolating in these marriages before NS started.

good luck!

Lisa

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884 Visitors; 12 Posts

I really don't think nursing school causes divorce. I think that if you have a spouse who truly loves and supports you, everything will be fine. Marriage is about give and take. So if your spouse can't deal with it then they really didn't take their vows seriously. They do say for better or worse don't they?:smokin:

I couldn't agree more!!!

If someone gets divorced during NS, I think there must be some other issues as well. If a spouse wants out b/c someone is spending "too much time" studying, then they are obviously not a loving, supportive spouse and not someone I'd want to be married to anyway.

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txnursingqt works as a Nursing Agency Staffing Coordinator.

1 Article; 4,835 Visitors; 292 Posts

I am not worried about my marriage not making it, but I will say that my husband is already saying he feel neglected. I don't think he is being an a$% by saying that, I think it is good that he is openly communicating his feelings with me instead of just burying them.

I have to realize that school is not everything that I do still have a husband and he does have needs. But that doesn't mean that I will let him deter me from studying or make me feel guilty. KWIM? There has to be a balance and you both have to be willing to sacrifice and actively work on your marriage at all times.

I do not think that NS just all of a sudden destroys a marriage, but I will say that I can see how the stress and time constraints can make things difficult.

My husband and I had a long talk the other night and ultimately what we discovered was that he tends to put too much of his happiness on me. What I mean is that he has to be happy with himself and not expect me to complete him because that is not fair to me. I mean, I am not really gone all that much and I try to study when he is at work so I can spend time with him when he is off. It is just that we are very close and can easily spend 24/7 with eachother without getting sick of eachother. I think he just has to learn to develop hobbies and other interests that he enjoys.

In the end I don't think NS causes divorces. Now law school that is another story, lol. (My sister is a lawyer and man can law school change a person. But one of the differences is that in law school they really change ones way of thinking and it can totally change the person.) But that is another topic all together!

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13,625 Visitors; 1,530 Posts

Here is a twist for ya!

I am a newlywed! :heartbeat:D However......

I was a single mom for the past 6 yrs. Most of my kids are grown. I have had more than one divorce. I have *always* been the primary income.

Current hubby and I have weathered his deployment to Iraq (and one on the way) and 5 yrs of a LDR (long distance relationship). He is in SC and I am in FL and that won't change anytime soon. Nursing school won't affect 'us' as many other married couples.

If you are already fairly independent and have a supportive spouse, then it should not be an issue. I believe that those who divorce in NS have: (1) a weak marriage to begin with or one already in trouble, (2) are doing it to prepare for the divorce to come or (3) have an ultra selfish spouse who can't give up attention for the short period of time that NS requires.

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484 Visitors; 2 Posts

My wife and I married one month before nursing school started. A month after its over, she leaves me, had been wanting to since the start of the last semester. I assure you, there was no problems in our marriage. We just had nursing school, a newborn baby the first year, and of course some finance problems since I was the only one working. Plain and simple, I was a meal ticket. We had only been together about a year, split for a month or so of that, and then back together 4 months before we got married. Now, I feel the only reason we got back together, was for her to have a way thru school.

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silverbells_star has 1 years experience and works as a Med-Surg and Hospice Nurse.

2,593 Visitors; 92 Posts

No way does nursing school = divorce. Marriage is work, you have to maintain it and not allow things to get in between you and your spouse. Talk, go out, spend special time together.

But I think I have more trouble with your thought that nursing school consumes every waking minute. You have to take time for yourself and your family, please don't let nursing school consume you. Too many people seem to think that if you want to survive nursing school you have to lock yourself away the entire time and do nothing but study, if that's you, then yes, your marriage will suffer.

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hiddencatRN works as a Registered Nurse.

28,986 Visitors; 3,408 Posts

I have heard so many people talk about this lately. I guess there could be some truth to this considering you have to devote every waking minute to the nursing program once you get in. Has anyone here been married when starting in the program and by the end was divorced? Just curious.. who knows...it may just be one of those "Urban legends" floating around:spin:

Not divorced, but it has definitely been stressful on my marriage. The hours devoted to school, plus the reduced income, plus DH having to work a lot of overtime to make up for it... It's definitely important to devote time to communication and each other during nursing school.

*Edit* Well, reading all the other replies is kinda making me feel bad. The fact that nursing school has been a source of stress on my marriage means my marriage was weak to start with, or that I married someone selfish? Ouch.

Edited by hiddencatRN

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nikisashabell works as a pca.

1,042 Visitors; 21 Posts

I sometimes think that the s/o feels threatened by the independence and the financial freedom. Also that you are doing better for yourself. In all reality they need reasurance that it's a team effort and even though it seems your being self absorbed, this is the effort it takes to make it. Anyhow just as you set study time aside you also need family time just as much. My husband definitley needs special time or I can feel the tension, then I stop and realize I need him just as much. Time managment. Don't be discouraged and good luck

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484 Visitors; 2 Posts

Well my wife used it as a reason we grew apart. I will say the first year we had more time for each other than the 2nd. However, we didn't start having problems until about 2 months before she said we grew apart. We never grew apart, she was using me for her golden opportunity to begin with. Nursing school was supposed to be something that benefited all of us, as a family, not her free ride to freedom when it was all over.

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4,300 Visitors; 183 Posts

I am sorry things did not work out but it does seem like she had some other plan. I know I could not of made it through nursing school without my husband. If she is saying it is because of nursing school maybe she will go to counseling with you.

It was stressful at times because I worked every other weekend besides nursing school and we have four kids. I can't wait until I get a RN job (hopefully soon) and I can do something nice just for him. He loves nice clothes so maybe just a shopping spree just for him so he can get new suits and everyday clothes. His everyday clothes would need to be Polo so it can get pricey but we do have a Polo outlet near us so he could go wild. He has certain brands and specific things he likes.

We have taken separate little weekend vacations since I graduated in May but not together since we have the little kids. I was glad he was able to get away and have a weekend with the guys where he got a complete break from house and children responsibilities. Hopefully we can get a weekend away together really soon.

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MiaNursingStudent works as a Nursing school graduate-- BSN, not yet RN.

3,122 Visitors; 89 Posts

Well.... if your marriage isn't bound tightly it does tend to fall apart. I'm in my last year of nursing school and definitely have seen a disconnect between my husband and I. He doesn't want to hear about my latest ventures in school and I really don't want to hear about some computer mainframe that failed (whatever that is :uhoh3:). I think that no matter what relationship it is, be it marriage, friendship, family, etc... if you don't set time aside for it or work on it then it may get lost under all your nursing notes.....

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ThePrincessBride has 3 years experience.

35 Likes; 55,290 Visitors; 2,212 Posts

Only know of one, but the marriage was weak to began with. They were young, immature, had two kids, and didn't seem to know what a true committment was.

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