Nursing School = Divorce???

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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I have heard so many people talk about this lately. I guess there could be some truth to this considering you have to devote every waking minute to the nursing program once you get in. Has anyone here been married when starting in the program and by the end was divorced? Just curious.. who knows...it may just be one of those "Urban legends" floating around

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

Also want to add that if something like Nursing school would break up your marriage, then you two didn't need to be married in the first place.

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This is an old thread but it is interesting.

I think many women trying to get out of bad marriages try to better themselves. They may feel empowered to go to school, get a career, etc. So they may go to school in order to become independent in preparation of a divorce. That isn't the case for everyone though. My husband is behind me 100% even though I feel a bit crazy at the idea of quitting my job and going to school.

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Nobody I know of in my program got divorced. I'd imagine that one's marriage would already need to be deteriorating prior to NS, it makes no sense that the stress of NS alone would break a marriage.

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My wife graduated from nursing school 2 years ago and while it was difficult I was as supportive as possible. Now the shoe is on the other foot and it is I who is in nursing school. Currently in my 3rd week so I still have a long way to go however I think this time around we are "seasoned pro's" in not having enough time for each other for year! Luckily we don't have children yet so what little free time we have together we focus on one another.

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Well.... if your marriage isn't bound tightly it does tend to fall apart. I'm in my last year of nursing school and definitely have seen a disconnect between my husband and I. He doesn't want to hear about my latest ventures in school and I really don't want to hear about some computer mainframe that failed (whatever that is :uhoh3:). I think that no matter what relationship it is, be it marriage, friendship, family, etc... if you don't set time aside for it or work on it then it may get lost under all your nursing notes.....

:eek: Well, he filed for divorce, so maybe the rumors are true.... nursing school = divorce. He said that I wasn't "maturing at a rate comparable to his", but what he really meant to say was that he traded me in for a younger, less intelligent model at his work who could devote more time to hanging out with him.

So......... after 4 years of marriage-- at least we didn't have kids! :yeah:

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Specializes in Labor and Delivery.
Also want to add that if something like Nursing school would break up your marriage, then you two didn't need to be married in the first place.

I'm just curious if you're married... My husband and I are together but nursing school is a huge stresser on a marriage. It's also not just a lil something because it affects a marriage in many ways. It creates financial stress first because usually the student isn't working so the spouse is working a lot, money in itself creates many worries and stress, extra work with watching the kids so teh student can student after working a 12 hour shift, student stressing about not being able to do what needs to be done at home as far as cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, being an attentive mom and wife (if the working spouse is working a lot of extra hours to support the family then it falls in the students lap), student stressing about doing well in school and there not being enough hours in the day. My point is marriage, especially young marriages take a lot, a lot of work and nursing school is a lot of stress as well so of course it is difficult. Thankfully my husband is in the same field so I can talk to him about stuff and we can relate to each other, but he still does inconsiderate things sometimes and I stopped expecting him to understand and offer to do things and just communicate with him and ask for his help directly when I need it and he does and it's much better.

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Specializes in CNA/LPN.

I'd say it depends on the stability and understanding in the relationship to begin with - even before Nursing School enters the picture. I'm not married, but I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, and within the past year is when I've decided it was meant for me to pursue nursing. He understand the amount of time it is going to take up, and he supports me 100% on this and I know he'll be very proud when all is said and done. A strong relationship will last through anything - and if a couple gets divorced "because of Nursing School", then I believe it's safe to say that somewhere and somehow, they had something wrong BEFORE Nursing School came into account. ;)

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A strong relationship will last through anything - and if a couple gets divorced "because of Nursing School", then I believe it's safe to say that somewhere and somehow, they had something wrong BEFORE Nursing School came into account. ;)

But isn't there always *something* wrong? Nothing is perfect, right? I often wonder because I see so many people on here say there SO or DH or DW is 100% supportive or so supportive, and I wonder does that really mean there is never tension about choices each other makes?

I am currently make more money but want to go back to nursing school be an RN and eventually a NP and will probably never make as much money as I make now, and he is supportive or tries to be, but honestly our relationship is far from perfect. We have children that are now 5.5 (2 children), we see a therapist when possible (full time jobs and school on the weekend makes it a bit hard), but we aren't nearly as close as we should be.

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Specializes in CNA/LPN.

Of course, no relationship is ever perfect, and in general we're all far from whatever "perfect" is, making it impossible to even try at what the ideal relationship is painted up to be. :) I was pretty much meaning that results may end up in the form of a separation or divorce because a deeper problem in the relationship in a sense that it isn't stable enough to withstand the devotion it takes to have a significant other that is having to spend so much time behind their notes and books or having one that lacks support, feels ignored, or less important because of your school requirements, or gets tired of how much time your schooling is taking up.

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Well I don't think there is a 'yes' or 'no' answer to this question. It really depends on the individual couples situation. HOWEVER, I do know of a few women that have attended nursing school only to promptly divorce their husbands after. May just be a coincidence.......... :icon_roll

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Specializes in hopeful ER/Surg.

Perhaps these marriages were already set to fail, as indicated by other posts here. I have noticed over time that the act of bettering oneself can drive away insecure people- or reveal their jealousy in a way that may end a marriage. In successful marriages, both partners have independent interests and goals and support each other in these. Many people who take the step to enter the nursing field have been around the block a few times...if they have a spouse who is not also creating opportunities, it can create difficult conditions.

School is consumptive- and expectation breeds resentment. If you can't juggle school AND satisfy an unsupportive person, there could be trouble.

I am so grateful to have a good support system!!

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I am a statistic. Nursing school is TOUGH!! However, I can't completely blame school, as my marriage (of almost 20 yrs) was already having some trials - but I can say for sure that the dedication required of us to get through school definitely did NOT help the situation. I know of a few people who were divorced by the end of school. It takes two, so I am in awe of those who had jobs, husbands, children, etc who made it through intact! And for the original poster, sherriberri, I am curious to know why you ask?

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