Nursing a prejudiced Pt.

[Avid reader]

Have had several prejudiced patients over the years, but one springs to mind immediately because he was a Mexican/ Indian Asian, who happened to be extremely light skinned and very Caucasian looking, with the name of Jones. Only found out when his Indian relative who looked Caucasian but had an Indian accent arrived. He wasn't overtly racist but let slipped to the night nurse that he preferred the white nurses because they appeared more competent and kind. It was difficult being objective from that point! How do others handle this silliness?

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

Well, we all are "prejudiced" to certain degree. We have our, rational or not, likes and dislikes, things that makes us more or less comfortable simply because we are all alive and different. But we also have certain limitations on expressions of our likes, dislikes, needs and "prejudices". These limitations are what, in a big sense, made us humans out of a band of bipedal apes which roamed East Africa some 2.5 million years ago. We can "like", "prefer" or "hate" certain things, but in the society we happen to live right now we cannot fully express all of them because the society, for one reason or another, doesn't permit it. We all urinate, defecate, copulate and perform some other bodily functions which are totally natural and innocent, but if one of us would like to do so openly in public, he or she will risks punishment. Similarly, one can "prefer" whatever caregivers, or have whatever bad experience with a person of another race/religion/social standing, but in the society we happen to live an adult is expected to understand that generalization of experience is childish and open preference will be seen as rasism (which it, usually, us). Some bad experience long ago is not an excuse for these behaviors.

Those who do not like it are welcome to explore other parts of the world. There are other quite developed countries, like Russia and Japan, where rasism and xenophobia are deeply institutionalized into society, and there is Western Europe, where one can pee on public if it can be done discreetly enough. But if one would like to live here in the USA, then, sorry, he better keep his rasist "preferences" for himself - or face reality.

[Daisy4RN]

I just ignore these kind of comments because who has time to deal with it even if you know the meaning behind it, which you don't (without exploring it further). Maybe he had a real problem/experience with nurses who he perceived to be non-white, and therefore just wanted white nurses. I have had patients who are other races/ethnicity (than myself) tell me they are more comfortable, and request, a nurse who is of their same race/ethnicity. Is this racist, should I get upset? Personally, if I am in the hospital (and I have been) I don't care what color, gender etc the nurse is, as long as he/she is competent. So even though I don't care, I realize that other people have different experiences/ideas, so this doesn't bother me. It doesn't necessarily mean the patient is racist/prejudiced and I wouldn't just assume that they are. Just move on, not worth worrying about a comment like that.

[AliNajaCat]

I moved heaven and earth and called in a favor or two to get one of my work comp patients in to see the best neurosurgeon for his problem in the Big City. We're sitting there in the waiting room filling out the paperwork and he stops ad turns to me. "Is Dr X Jewish? Or a ni**er?"

Totally caught me off guard. "Huh?" I said, brightly.

"Is he Jewish? I don't want no ni**er Jews taking care of me."

"You know what, I haven't any idea. I've only ever discussed (name of neuro diagnosis he had) with him. He's the best in town and you're damn lucky I got you in so fast."

"I don't care. If you can't tell me he ain't Jewish I'm leaving."

THEN, I notice the swastika tattoos. Gawd, I am so dense sometimes. If I had (that diagnosis) and the best surgeon in the house was Vladimir Putin's brother in law, I'd shake his hand. Not everybody feels that way, obviously.

And the SOB got up and left.

I made profound apologies to the staff of an office with whom I had heretofore had excellent relations, and they told me not to give it another thought and it opened up a spot in their schedule for somebody else. Bonus.

[CaffeinePOQ4HPRN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

I moved heaven and earth and called in a favor or two to get one of my work comp patients in to see the best neurosurgeon for his problem in the Big City. We're sitting there in the waiting room filling out the paperwork and he stops ad turns to me. "Is Dr X Jewish? Or a ni**er?"

Totally caught me off guard. "Huh?" I said, brightly.

"Is he Jewish? I don't want no ni**er Jews taking care of me."

"You know what, I haven't any idea. I've only ever discussed (name of neuro diagnosis he had) with him. He's the best in town and you're damn lucky I got you in so fast."

"I don't care. If you can't tell me he ain't Jewish I'm leaving."

THEN, I notice the swastika tattoos. Gawd, I am so dense sometimes. If I had (that diagnosis) and the best surgeon in the house was Vladimir Putin's brother in law, I'd shake his hand. Not everybody feels that way, obviously.

And the SOB got up and left.

I made profound apologies to the staff of an office with whom I had heretofore had excellent relations, and they told me not to give it another thought and it opened up a spot in their schedule for somebody else. Bonus.

That guy sounds like a peach. Honestly, the level of lunacy...SMH. I find this less offensive more than I do a shining example of depraved stupidity. So, he'd rather risk his own life then allow someone to help him because they happen to be of "this" or "that" group. Bahahahaha!

When you get another patient like this in the future, don't even waste your breath. Don't waste your breath trying to reason with them, or trying to get them to see the error of their ways... Let them leave, like your patient did, and die of their ailments at home. Their eventual "expiration" will do all of humanity a favor. All us n***er Jews can use our talents to help save people who actually want and are appreciative of our help.

[djh123]

I've only skimmed the comments, and have posted once on this thread, but at least one person said something about us all having some types of prejudices/biases/preferences. True, but as my dad said, surprisingly to me (because I thought he was totally non-prejudiced), only a few years before he passed, 'We all have prejudiced thoughts sometimes, but the difference is if you recognize it, think about it, and realize that it's wrong' - or something to that effect.

[Avid reader]

Stand corrected VegGal. Maybe the H&P was wrong. However the post was asking others about their responses to prejudice patients. A subject matter quite relevant currently. The patient was discharged and never actually created any problems, but his statement elicited some negative feelings personally, because I have many non white friends and colleagues who has been subjected to racist overtures. I'm always embarrassed and having to apologize or make inadequate excuses. Trust me, white guilt is a real thing for some of us.

[VegGal, BSN, RN]

Stand corrected VegGal. Maybe the H&P was wrong. However the post was asking others about their responses to prejudice patients. A subject matter quite relevant currently. The patient was discharged and never actually created any problems, but his statement elicited some negative feelings personally, because I have many non white friends and colleagues who has been subjected to racist overtures. I'm always embarrassed and having to apologize or make inadequate excuses. Trust me, white guilt is a real thing for some of us.

Avid reader, my point in my previous comment is that just because someone makes ignorant comments as that patient undoubtedly did, it doesn't make them racist or prejudiced, but I do understand what you're saying.

I'll have to admit that I will never understand "white guilt." I don't blame my white friends for racist actions and behaviors of slave owners from decades ago, any more than I blame my black friends for black patients who request black nurses. I personally think that we should all be ourselves, and stop feeling so guilty as a society for the actions of others. Yet, I know that's not going to change anytime soon. We've all been conditioned to be overly politically correct, and to apologize for things that we had nothing to do with, and could never have changed.

[Avid reader]

VegGal, do you think Germans feel guilty about the Holocaust, even though they had nothing to do with it? A naughty uncle or embarrassed by your parents etc? Trump as our president? I travel extensively and I have yet to get a question not related to, is he for real? Do Americans really think like that? He represents us and that's the image everyone now have of us. Now there's going to be Trump guilt!

[Avid reader]

Guilt is important because it signifies wrongdoing and acceptance of the action which is one of the best ways to lead to change. Problem is, there are few insightful people out there and our culture of selfishness is making it less likely. Everyone has feelings and no single person's feelings is more significant than the other because it is all relative, however social media appears to promote impulsivity and retard (deliberate choice) reflection.

[WestCoastSunRN, MSN, CNS]

Guilt is important because it signifies wrongdoing and acceptance of the action which is one of the best ways to lead to change. Problem is, there are few insightful people out there and our culture of selfishness is making it less likely. Everyone has feelings and no single person's feelings is more significant than the other because it is all relative, however social media appears to promote impulsivity and retard (deliberate choice) reflection.

From my observations, asking an entire race (any race) to carry guilt for the sins of their ancestors is not proving to have healing/progressive results. But perhaps that's a discussion for another time. As far as the OT goes.....

Many moons ago I was working with my black co-worker/friend and it was just me and her in our small ICU.... I was taking break in a room just off the unit with the door open so I could respond to any situations I needed to -- since my friend was the only RN (we had a CNA and unit sec). Anyway, I heard one of her patients call out to her "come here NI**** girl!" I bolted up out of that room to go defend my friend from this 90 year old Mississippi - bred (I, too, am from the South) grandma. My friend saw just what I was doing and grabbed my arm and admonished me. She told me this lady couldn't help what era she was born in and her comment was nothing more than ignorance and to let it go. She said it didn't bother her in the least.

Now I loved my friend and had great respect for her -- I learned a lot from her. I was young and frisky when this happened, and it was a maturing event for me in many ways. What the lady said was rude. But we were there to take CARE of her regardless of what her views, beliefs, etc. were. I have sense taken care of patients with ALL SORTS of depravity going on. Some kinds of depravity rub me worse than others because of my own personal triggers. But I'm a nurse. I didn't sign up to take care of folks that only thought and acted and believe like I do.

These days? I've learned better what my priorities are.

[Avid reader]

Totally agree with you West coast, it's a personal thing. My pathology. No one today, unless they condone the situation and politicians we currently selected should feel guilt and that should be, shame! I'm a nurse and we are as intelligent as anyone else. I've yet to meet anyone that I feel intellectually inferior to and that isn't vanity! Yet, I know nurses that identified with the orange one and he has nothing in common with them. My people, my group!Do you think anyone of the street could do the complicated procedures we do and succeed? Yet, we've elected someone to do a job infinitely more difficult than ours and not only does he have no experience, but he celebrates his ignorance and more than adequately demonstrated it.

How many people commented on prejudice being associated with ignorance, so what am I missing about the elected one, who personified prejudice to Hispanics, Muslims, women, LGBT and so many others?

[VegGal, BSN, RN]

From my observations, asking an entire race (any race) to carry guilt for the sins of their ancestors is not proving to have healing/progressive results .....

I completely agree with your statement, WestCoastSunRN.