Nursing Instructor from hell

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jun 4, 2009

She should at least complete the first semester to see how it goes. Many times, students pass that surprise both the instructors and themselves. Since she already got accepted, at least try it out. As long as she doesn't argue with her clinical instructors or professors, anyway. The worst thing you can do is challege them because they almost always win. Just say "Okay, how can I get better, how can I learn, etc..." and keep it moving. I am sure your friend can tell you how difficult it may have been to get accepted...who wants to revisit that again?? If she leaves the program, she would have to send her previous transcript to the new school, they'll see she was already accepted into a program and then she may be questioned as to why she is no longer there, which can open an entire can of worms.

chicookie, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2009

I think that she shouldn't let it get her down. Not all nursing instructors are the same. She has to remember that the instructor is doing this because she wants her to be all that she can be.

Tell her even though its hard not to pay her mind. She should stay and do her best.

I know this is mean but she needs to grow a backbone. I have heard much worse comments from a patient. If she can't handle her nursing instructor she might be able to handle all the comments from patients, staff, docs. She needs to focus on giving the best care she can and let the other stuff roll off her shoulders.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2009

I think she should take the instructor's feedback and use it to improve.

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2009

hey all my friend recently informed me that her nursing instructor told her that she didn't think she was going to make it. my friend is in her 1st semester of nursing school and she said the instructor told her this is because she had linens on the floor, and didn't throw away the dirty linens fast enough. also, the instructor told her that she should have said 32 residuals for a feeding tuble instead of 30. don't you think that assessment the nursing instructor made was out of line? she also said she thinks her clinical instructor has bad mouthed her to other teachers and she thinks she may need to change programs so she won't feel they are out to get her. i said she should stay and prove them wrong. what do you all think?

i think you should mind your own business and keep your opinions to yourself. have you not learned anything about assessment and observations? this "friend" is telling you things that may or may not be true in order to hide her embarrassment. she is telling you what she wants you to hear. you don't know the instructor's side of the situation. it's unfortunate that your friend is having difficulties. but you weren't there and you don't know the entire situation. stay out of this. if you haven't already learned about active listening, now would be a good time to learn it. if your friend is failing, that is sad. support her, be sympathetic, encourage her to examine her feelings and actions, but i think it is pretty cruel of you to not to let her make her own decisions. we should never tell people what to do without knowing all the facts. it robs them of their self-worth and self-esteem.

MsLEE2121 · Jun 4, 2009

I think you should mind your own business and keep your opinions to yourself. Have you not learned anything about assessment and observations? This "friend" is telling you things that may or may not be true in order to hide her embarrassment. She is telling you what she wants you to hear. You don't know the instructor's side of the situation. It's unfortunate that your friend is having difficulties. But you weren't there and you don't know the entire situation. Stay out of this. If you haven't already learned about active listening, now would be a good time to learn it. If your friend is failing, that is sad. Support her, be sympathetic, encourage her to examine her feelings and actions, but I think it is pretty cruel of you to not to let her make her own decisions. We should never tell people what to do without knowing all the facts. It robs them of their self-worth and self-esteem.

First of all Daytonite she came to me asking me for my opinion, so it was no way possible for me to mind my business. You seem to be taking this kind of personal, are you the instructor she is talking about? I don't know what went on but I still tell her to prove them wrong. Show that she can make it in the nursing profession. I don't know what got you all hot and bothered but it seems like a personal thing to me. It's not cruel to not let someone make their own decisions especially when they come to you for advice, so you obviously didn't read the post completely! You need to read for understanding before you try to form an opinion! And we all need advice sometimes, because sometimes other people can see things a lot clearer than you! You are probably a know it all type of person, and want people to feel sorry for you when things go wrong!

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2009

First of all Daytonite she came to me asking me for my opinion, so it was no way possible for me to mind my business. You seem to be taking this kind of personal, are you the instructor she is talking about? I don't know what went on but I still tell her to prove them wrong. Show that she can make it in the nursing profession. I don't know what got you all hot and bothered but it seems like a personal thing to me. It's not cruel to not let someone make their own decisions especially when they come to you for advice, so you obviously didn't read the post completely! You need to read for understanding before you try to form an opinion! And we all need advice sometimes, because sometimes other people can see things a lot clearer than you! You are probably a know it all type of person, and want people to feel sorry for you when things go wrong!

Just because someone asks you for an opinion doesn't mean you must give them one. Who said I was hot and bothered? There you are making another opinion and it is wrong. I am not hot and bothered. Your analysis is faulty. What I said is that it is cruel of you not to let her make her own decision. It is you who are not reading what was written correctly. Listen to your friend and be sympathetic. But don't push her to do something she may not be capable of doing because she will only get herself into more trouble. Imagine how you will feel if your friend ends up in worse trouble based upon actions she did that you recommended. You weren't there and you really don't know what was going on. I understand that you feel a lot of sympathy for your friend but there are some battles that you cannot fight for her.

crazensweet · Jun 4, 2009

Hey all my friend recently informed me that her nursing instructor told her that she didn't think she was going to make it. My friend is in her 1st semester of nursing school and she said the instructor told her this is because she had linens on the floor, and didn't throw away the dirty linens fast enough. Also, the instructor told her that she should have said 32 residuals for a feeding tuble instead of 30. Don't you think that assessment the nursing instructor made was out of line? She also said she thinks her clinical instructor has bad mouthed her to other teachers and she thinks she may need to change programs so she won't feel they are out to get her. I said she should stay and prove them wrong. What do you all think?

MsLEE2121.. First let me applaud you :yeah: your're a good friend. The very small circle of friends that I have, I respect their opinions (which requires if I come to them with a problem I EXPECT a verbal response) they are not idiots that sit there and nod their heads and vice versa, Whether good or bad. Despite what they may think..because of the varying degrees of outlook and characteristics, I always make the FINAL decision but I value their opinions. Your a good person, dont take the "Mind your business" attitude into the Profession. GOOD FOR YOU!!!! :up:You go and be your sisters keeper. There was ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with you telling her to KEEP GOING, essentially dont give up!!!!

Peace

dcgrrl, ASN, RN · Jun 4, 2009

Hey all my friend recently informed me that her nursing instructor told her that she didn't think she was going to make it. My friend is in her 1st semester of nursing school and she said the instructor told her this is because she had linens on the floor, and didn't throw away the dirty linens fast enough. Also, the instructor told her that she should have said 32 residuals for a feeding tuble instead of 30. Don't you think that assessment the nursing instructor made was out of line? She also said she thinks her clinical instructor has bad mouthed her to other teachers and she thinks she may need to change programs so she won't feel they are out to get her. I said she should stay and prove them wrong. What do you all think?

MsLee2121,

It's GREAT that your friend has someone like you that she can talk to or to bounce ideas and get opinions. I know I've been in situations where I've asked friends to weigh in with their ideas/opinions in order to help me come up with my OWN idea about something. I call that considering DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES of a situation/ weighing my options/ etc... I do it quite often --and it certainly has nothing to do with me questioning my self-worth. Trust me your friend would go see a shrink if all she wanted was to have an active listener.

But, if you feel more comfortable giving advice by adding a disclaimer to your conversations such as , If I were in your shoes, I would ....." or "ultimately you have to make your own decisions ..." then do so. Really it's not necessary when your friend starts out by ASKING for your opinion.

Also, I certainly don't think that telling your friend to stick it out this semester is giving her bad advice. In fact, you are encouraging her NOT TO QUIT when times get tough. I also don't think that it is "cruel of you not to let her make her own decision". (I'm sorry I must have missed the part of your letter where you MADE your friend follow your advice???? :confused: ) . . . Again, you are simply stating YOUR opinion.

And of course your friend is going to give one side of the story . . . that's w/ anybody relaying a story. Really --it sounds like your friend is just seeking words of ECOURAGEMENT. I'm pretty sure all past, present and future nurses need it every now and then. Tell her you'll be there to support her no matter what decision she makes and encourage her to also speak to an advisor or other classmates that she can trust. They may also be able to provide some pearls of wisdom like you did:heartbeat . Good Luck to you and your friend.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jun 4, 2009

I think that it is great that you became proactive and decided to reach out for advice, especially if you are not in nursing yourself. I do believe that your friend needs support and encouragement as well, because goodness knows I had my trials and tribulations in nursing school. There are two sides to every story, you were not a fly on the wall, but you can support her. There is always room for self-introspection and I see nothing wrong with putting that out there for your friend as well. It does not mean that she brought her troubles to herself, it may be to see things from a different perspective, such as "this too shall pass, let it blow over, play the game this instructor wants, etc..."

I just know that it is difficult to win with college faculty. Try to mentally make the negatives turn into the positives to make it out of that program, and kudos to you for being there...it will be like you've graduated yourself...lol!

Cherybaby · Jun 4, 2009

Advice, especially when solicited, is a beautiful thing. Helps us to gain perspective and clarity where we may not see it for ourselves. The greatest thing about advice? It is always ultimately your decision whether to follow it or not. You know your friend better than we do. If you think she has what it takes, by all means, encourage her. She might have been having a bad week at school and is coming down a little hard on herself because of the statement the prof made. Part of being a nurse is having to suck it up now and then. You are going to have tough docs, nurses and patients to deal with in your future as a nurse. While I think growing a backbone was a bit harsh...there is some truth to it. You have to be a tough cookie in this business to a certain degree. Good for you for being there for your friend, willing to listen and give her advice. I hope all works out well for her no matter what she decides. :)

mappy · Jun 4, 2009

First of all, I think you've done a good job of encouraging your friend. I am curious about the connection between an instructor telling her she wouldn't make it as a nurse and the incidents you described which are minor at best. I wonder if your friend might be reading too much into her instructor's responses or if her instructor made that comment based on your friend's

reaction to the instructor's criticism of her work.

I would advise your friend to think about these situations carefully, because it can impact her interactions with future instructors. If this is simply a harsh instructor who doesn't like her, then there is little likelihood of future problems. If this is an instructor who is concerned about your friend's professional demeanor, then the instructor might be giving some pointers that could be very helpful to your friend in the future.

Instructors do talk about students, particularly those who have perceived issues (such as difficulty with medication administration, inappropriate boundaries with patients, or problems accepting criticism). It's a way of sharing concerns and showing ways that the instructor can help the student. That being said, I had a horrible experience in my first clinical experience. My instructor never told me that I wouldn't make it, but I felt that she thought that. I continued on through that program and never had another problem with a clinical instructor. I also graduated with honors and completed a master's degree. Does your friend have a neutral person at the school (like a mentor or another instructor) with whom she can respectably talk about her experiences? If she does I would want her to be open to the fact that she might receive some feedback which either encourages her to become more assertive or more prepared.