Nursing Instructor from hell

[MsLEE2121]

Hey all my friend recently informed me that her nursing instructor told her that she didn't think she was going to make it. My friend is in her 1st semester of nursing school and she said the instructor told her this is because she had linens on the floor, and didn't throw away the dirty linens fast enough. Also, the instructor told her that she should have said 32 residuals for a feeding tuble instead of 30. Don't you think that assessment the nursing instructor made was out of line? She also said she thinks her clinical instructor has bad mouthed her to other teachers and she thinks she may need to change programs so she won't feel they are out to get her. I said she should stay and prove them wrong. What do you all think?

[rngolfer53]

I think you should mind your own business and keep your opinions to yourself. Have you not learned anything about assessment and observations? This "friend" is telling you things that may or may not be true in order to hide her embarrassment. She is telling you what she wants you to hear. You don't know the instructor's side of the situation. It's unfortunate that your friend is having difficulties. But you weren't there and you don't know the entire situation. Stay out of this. If you haven't already learned about active listening, now would be a good time to learn it. If your friend is failing, that is sad. Support her, be sympathetic, encourage her to examine her feelings and actions, but I think it is pretty cruel of you to not to let her make her own decisions. We should never tell people what to do without knowing all the facts. It robs them of their self-worth and self-esteem.

There's a difference between advice/encouragement and making decisions for someone else. I didn't see anything in the OP that indicated that she was making the decision for her friend.

You make a good point about the friend telling her side of the story, as we all tend to do, and some gentle but persistent questioning is in order to flesh out the record. One of the skills needed for nursing is an ability to discern when patients are giving you the whole story, and this is an opportunity to develop that knack.

That said, imho, it would be cruel to refuse to respond to a friend who asked for advice, unless one was convinced that the friend was withholding critical facts.