Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

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This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated! speechless-smiley-040.gif

Of course he's not a nurse! :devil:

Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!

Specializes in Nurse Educator, Culturally Sensitive Nsg.

"Reminds me of sending a new tech to supply asking for 15you feet of fallopian tubing. He came back three hours later with a letter from the DON telling us to stop doing that. I still want to know how many people he had to see before he got to her!"

ROFLMAO!!! Bad nurses!! Bad! BAD!!!! LOL :D

"Reminds me of sending a new tech to supply asking for 15you feet of fallopian tubing. He came back three hours later with a letter from the DON telling us to stop doing that. I still want to know how many people he had to see before he got to her!"

ROFLMAO!!! Bad nurses!! Bad! BAD!!!! LOL :D

This actually happened to my boyfriend! He worked for a car dealership and someone sent him to the parts store to pick up a 10 inch fallopian tube! haha!!! that's a good one.

Do funnies by kids count here?

My nephew yells, " Mom I'm growing an egg on my member!"

Sis runs in to see what the heck he's talking about...

nephew He points "Look eggs"

Sis "Those are not eggs, those are your testicles."

Be Love

Nicole

This reminds me of a conversation my co-nurse told me about with her 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: Do you HAVE to go to work tonight?

Mother: Yes, I do.

Daughter: Are you, like, gonna be their doctor?

Mother: No, I'm gonna be their nurse.

Daughter: Okay... but you're coming home tomorrow right?

Mother: Yes, dear.

For some reason this just cracked me up!! haha

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
My husband had to go to Urgent Care last week. Among other things, they gave him a script for ibuprofen 600 mg. We have ibuprofen 200 mg tabs at home, and when I told him he could take 3 of them, he said "That's not the same thing!"

I'm going to tell on myself.

I have horrid dysmenorrhea related to my endometriosis, so I have a script for 800 mg Ibuprofen. I know, I know, it's the same as four Advil, but I'd much rather take the 800 mg and pass out...it lasts much longer than four Advil.

But back to the subject at hand, a family friend is hospitalized and my mother told me, "she's not doing to well...they have her on a mask and she's getting full oxygen!" I'm not sure what that is...does anyone know? :)

Speaking of funny things kids say, my little nephew said once, very serious, that he lost his mind, but a new one grew back! Haha!

Specializes in Nurse Educator, Culturally Sensitive Nsg.

had a guy tell me, very seriously, that he had, "Fractured his collateral." As he massaged his shoulder. :-p

my boyfriend asked me how come babies don't drown when they are born into a bathtub....hahaha...gotta love em!:lol2:

Hubby went to Dr and they prescribed Celebrex. I told him that it is an anti-inflammatory. "No," he said, "It's an NSAID." I again told him yes, it is an anti-inflammatory. "No, I told you, it's an NSAID!" I then explained what NSAID stands for.

Specializes in PACU, presurgical testing.

I remember multiple occasions when someone earnestly told me that their friend/loved one/relative had a FRACTURE, which was MUCH WORSE than just a break (Or, alternatively, it was okay for them to have a fracture, because at least it wasn't a break!).

Yeah. I don't correct people for stuff like that, but boy, do I want to.

I told my husband that one of my patients would be going in for a quadruple bypass in the morning. He said "Wouldn't that just totally bypass the heart?" He thought that a bypass surgery bypassed chambers of the heart.

This is not nursing related but hilarious nonetheless...

My ex-boyfriend once asked me how he should turn on the electric kettle. "Do I push this button here?", referring to the only switch on the kettle. "Yes".

I should mention that he IS at the top of his graduating class in one of the best law schools in the country. Some things are too strange not to share!

:D

once i decided to clean medication cabinet.so i pulled all meds n started cleaning it. my mother-in-law came running and told me," oh stop this, u don't know anything about medication. u will discard meds which are not expired"!!!!!!!

i was thinking how to react.

:banghead: or :thankya:

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