Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Cardiology.

Funniest order I saw was a pt being admitted for "lung ass" instead of mass. Also remember various doctors ordering bilateral SCD's or TED hose for a pt with only one leg.

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we had a patient admitted with the diagnosis of USA, amongst the various CHF, COPD, etc. we kidded each other about this patient having the dreaded "all-American disease" come to find out it was unstable angina. We all learned alot and added that to our list of approved abbreviations !:lol2:

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Specializes in post-op.

I had a resident write an order for q1 hour uop measurements and the pt DID NOT have a foley. I was like um you want me to ask the pt to get up and pee every hour? Who goes to the bathroom every hour?

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Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.

Okay, my contribution: many years ago we had a doc working the ER that we all serioiusly questioned whether or not her license was legit. She ordered an HCG on a 90-something woman who came in with sudden vag bleeding.

To see if she had a tumour on her ovary or pituitary, kicking out betaHCG. The tumour could raise all kinds of merry hell with the lining of the uterus and lady parts.

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
I had a resident write an order for q1 hour uop measurements and the pt DID NOT have a foley. I was like um you want me to ask the pt to get up and pee every hour? Who goes to the bathroom every hour?

On the surgical floor, another nurse had a pt with that kind of order. She was a 2 assist to get up. The doctor had ordered that she be gotten up to the bedside commode every hour to measure urine output, even at night. :trout:

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Here's a rather annoying order written by a first-year resident, on the floor of all places:

Nitropaste 1.5 inches to chest wall, q6h (fair enough so far),

"TITRATE" to SBP> 90 by wiping off 1/4 inch at a time.

How many of you folks have the time to stand by the bedside and take serial BP's when you have 10-14 patients all calling for you, just so you can "titrate" Nitropaste? :rolleyes:

ROFL!!!!! :lol2:

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We have a MD that doesn't feel the need to talk to the ER nurse so he write in a doctors order.

( usually written for our frequent flyer homeless drunk patients who come in only for food and shelter)

- feed pt (one nurse made this error and paid for it, the drunk patient aspirated)

- do vital signs.

- give warm blanket and pillow.

- give coffee (it is the staff coffee that we pay for on our own)

-undress patient

-discharge at 0600

Wonder if we get a write up for not following these stat orders. "yes doctor I will do it right after I take care of my truly sick patients."

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Specializes in ER/Trauma.

My old phone (before it died :madface:) had all kinds of photo snap shots of doc orders.

Probably the most memorable one in my nascent, infant career as a nurse?

"1 shot of whiskey q 2-3 hrs PRN restlessness/agitation"

Now when I first read that, I did a total :eek: !!!

But then almost instantly, nursing "paperwork" instincts kicked in (lol) -- "A shot? What the heck does he mean by "shot" ? How much does he want it to be?"

So I looked it up and found that a standard "shot" is about 30 cc.

So, I made the doc write a clarification : "Clarification of above order - 30 ml Whiskey q 2-3 hrs PRN restlessness/agitation".

So we were serving the patient shots of Black Bush Irish Whiskey as we thought needed fit :lol2:

cheers,

PS: Later found that some of our docs do that. Some of them are known for ordering "1 beer with dinner" or "1 beer at bed time" for some of their patients :)

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
Funniest order I saw was a pt being admitted for "lung ass" instead of mass.

Every time I read this one, it cracks me up. :lol2:

On a pt yesterday, not one of my own, I saw an admission dx stated as "Got a problem with my arms"

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Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.

PS: Later found that some of our docs do that. Some of them are known for ordering "1 beer with dinner" or "1 beer at bed time" for some of their patients :)

Every once in awhile we get an alcoholic pt that the docs will write orders for beer so they don't go through dt's. Unfortunately for the patient, the pharmacy usually only stocks "The Beast" aka Milwaukee's Best.

The funniest real order on a chart I see all the time is "Witness Consent" and the consent is blank on the chart. No doc's signature, no pt's signature, nothing. I just do one of these::lol2: and then one of these: :rolleyes: and see how many days in a row they will rewrite the order.

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I can't think of any unsusual orders but I remember working Med-Surg Nocs in a community hospital. We would have patients who were in for "Nausea and vomiting"

who nver showed any nsign of it. In giving report, I wondered why they hadn't been discharged. The day nurse said that their family went on vacation so the doctor admitted the person for 2 weeks. Can you imagine that happening now!!!

Soon to be retired Judy Rae

Yep, I saw it a few months ago. The sweet little old lady pt asked if she could stay another day, because it was lonely at home. The nurse practitioner told her "Sure, you can stay as long as you like dear. But we need an excuse why we're keeping you here another day, so if anyone asks, you're nauseous, okay?" The NP then told the pt's nurse (not me, fortunately) to give the pt Zofran. (pt had denied any pain or nausea that day).

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I always liked the ones admitted with 'Eurosepsis'...

One of our lymphoma patients was in for a long admission, and one night while watching football he commented he sure wished he had a beer. He wasn't an alcoholic, he was just a regular guy...

I called our doc, and asked him for the order. Dr M was one of the kindest, most compassionate docs I've ever had the pleasure to work with, and he said 'of course'. "One beer, po, q hs prn, may repeat x 1"

I went across the street and bought a six pack of ponies (so he could drink more than one lol), arranged them all nicely in an ice bucket and took them in to this guy.

He just flipped out. Crying and laughing and said it was the greatest thing ever. Got on the phone and started calling all his family and friends, telling them what had happened. It truly made his day (and ours too). He died not long after that, but every time I saw him he talked about the night he got his wish.

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