Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 18

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   alintanurse
    DC instructions: "wash your feet".
  2. by   madwife2002

    Just had to comment have you seen how many people have read this thread.
    I wonder what is the record.

  3. by   sblanchet
    It is hard to choose among the many, but I think my favorite was, "Give one unit of PRBC's IV today". IV? Really, Doc? Are you sure?

    Funniest progress note was an h&p about a breast exam that read, "Breasts inadequate". He meant to write exam inadequate; pt uncooperative.

    One more funny progress note: Pt is 84 years old and lives at home with his parents. Huh? And how old are they? 110?
  4. by   oneillk1
    Quote from mattcastens

    You laugh, but that's becoming more common (again). Our surgeons screen patients for possible DTs after their open-heart surgery. If they're found to be at risk, they have a standing order for "Beer: 1 can PO, BID." Thank god they specified "PO".

    They figure that it's easier (and better for the patient) to stem the DTs before they start. We're not going to dry them up anyway, and their bodies can put the energy into healing instead of withdrawl.
    Yep us too in Australia. Had a guy who had an elective TKR, and had said no alcohol use in his pre admission consult. Well he went off about 48 hours post op, climbed out of his bed and fractured his femur around the prosthesis.... need I say more. Since then it has become more common to see 'prescriptions' for alcohol. And you're right, they have got enough to go on with, they don't need to kick an addiction at the same time!
  5. by   ICU_RN
    When I was working on a med surg floor, saw an order for "Lactulose 30ml bid, titrate to 2-3 soft bowel movements per day." We tried to tell the doc that we couldn't titrate anything on the floor, the pt would have to go to the unit! :hatparty:

    On discharge orders for a multi-substance abuse pt: "Go to church on Sundays."
  6. by   stidget99
    Quote from kenurse
    Many of you are showing your youth and inexperience. 3H enema used to be a very common order. In LTC, wine is often given to stimulate appetite on little 80 pound patients. I suppose you've never heard of using sugar or MOM to put on decubiti to promote healing, either. Gone are the days when the docs from the old school come in and turn off the ICU monitor and tell you to look at the patient and treat the patient, not the machine! And what happened to giving a backrub at bedtime to every patient??
    I'd like to know who actually has the time to give a backrub q hs to each patient. I barely have enough time to give hs meds to all of my pts. Yeah, we may be young but we are in a totally different era of nursing care. Try coming back to work the floor...and you will understand.
  7. by   icyounurse
    do not ask pt if he wants to bathe in the middle of the night
  8. by   SophieMae
    That was the order............the pt kept calling the police, telling them we kidnapped/keeping her for scientific experiments!
  9. by   Titiana
    we had a pt trasfered up from ER and the MD wrote, please bathe pt on admission (that's how nasty she was) and she was only 14!
  10. by   Titiana
    Quote from SRbear
    Had a doc order a continual vaginal betadine douche on this 450 pound woman. We did get it changed to a couple of times a day, but that was bad enough.....I requested the nurse that was helping me tie a rope around my foot in case I fell in ! all together now 1 2 3, pull.

    Can I ask why you would want to douche with Betadine???
  11. by   Titiana
    Quote from Retired Nurse
    Here's an order I loved- - - "cookies prn". The accompaning progress note explained - - - "Blood sugar runs a little high. Family bring in cookies, and at 96, who cares"

    Reminds me of my great-gramma who didn't die until 96, used to eat Limberger (spelled wrong) cheese and a bowl of ice cream every day.

    She used to sit at the table at night and eat a spoonful of ice cream then give a spoonful to the dog to lick off, back and forth. LOL.
  12. by   nesher
    1) Buy patient chewing gum
    2) change mouse poster
  13. by   breezy5
    for diagnosis i have seen junk food junky and excessive sexual behavior