Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

posted elsewhere...but probably should have here...so here it is...

Frequent flyer manipulative seizure-faker begs doc for more Valium..."gonna have a seizure" you know the ones....

Doc writes:

Increase Valium to 10mg, if that doesn't work, try a 357

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I have heard of the sugar tx for pressure ulcers from wound care nurses nowadays but they don't use it anymore.

But the back rub thing I think went out when we all started having 10 to 12 patients, ( 8 most nights on my floor),and some patients with the multiple psych problems + medical problems most nurses get on med surg or cardiac floors like where I work if we tried therapuetic touch they would become abusive or think we were commiting battery on them... I am serious...:o

sad but true I wish it were different because human touch is important.

Many of you are showing your youth and inexperience. 3H enema used to be a very common order. In LTC, wine is often given to stimulate appetite on little 80 pound patients. I suppose you've never heard of using sugar or MOM to put on decubiti to promote healing, either. Gone are the days when the docs from the old school come in and turn off the ICU monitor and tell you to look at the patient and treat the patient, not the machine! And what happened to giving a backrub at bedtime to every patient??
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Specializes in M/S, Onc, PCU, ER, ICU, Nsg Sup., Neuro.

In the ER I had a doc who wrote, "place pt in gown"

flaerman

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Many of you are showing your youth and inexperience. 3H enema used to be a very common order. In LTC, wine is often given to stimulate appetite on little 80 pound patients. I suppose you've never heard of using sugar or MOM to put on decubiti to promote healing, either. Gone are the days when the docs from the old school come in and turn off the ICU monitor and tell you to look at the patient and treat the patient, not the machine! And what happened to giving a backrub at bedtime to every patient??[/quote

i totally agree with more touching and treating the patient and not the machine. so many doctors and nurses dont touch patients anymore. touch heals so much! physical, emotional and psychological. thats exactly the type of nurse i want to be.

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MD wrote order to "call glucose police at 911 for finger stick >200."

Not an order but admitting dx.......Sinkable episode.

In Er notes....... Pt incont. of lg bowel movement.

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OOPS........ I meant....... Pt incont. of lg bowl movement

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Not an order but admitting dx.......Sinkable episode.

.

And I had a pt. with admitting dx of "Eurosepsis". Must have gotten it on a trip.

Also had an order last week: "d/c foley (that means take it out)". You can tell that doc has a high opinion of nurses!

Savvy

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Admitting diagnoses on pediatrics

1) "sick" - makes sense we would admit a patient who is sick

2) "clean ears" - what normal healthy child has clean ears? The kid must be terminal!

Dumb orders

"Silver nitrate to diaper rash tid" - OUCHH!! I think he meant Silvadene. This is the same doc who told me not to call with any more problems. I asked him if I could write that as an order.

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first day on the floor i was a student nurse. Doctor asks me to draw up morphine to be given IV stat. I explain that I can't do this as I am a student and need everything double checked signed etc. He says i forgot your a slug. of course i'm mad and hurt. report to my clinical instructor who of course is now having kittens. I'm more upset. when she finally gets control of herself I learn that slug is student learning under guidance. funny now not then

At least you were not a NIT (nurse in training) :rotfl:

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Here's the funny from our facility:

May keep tissues at bedside PRN

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A registrar who happens to bring in a patient into our unit w/o the knowledge of our consultant was rowled out by the latter and was really trembling... (good for him, feeling oh-so superconfident when he entered our unit, as if!!) Now he got it and was told off to document the ceiling of treatment for the pt.. Trembling he wrote down:

"Pt. not for arrest in event of cardiopulmonary resus..."

Wicked me, i didnt ask him to change it rightaway when I noticed it.. I let everybody see it first before i bleeped him again to write it down properly...

++++++++++

In a tower of steel, Nature forges a deal,

To raise wonderful HELL,

LIKE ME, LIKE ME!! --Bjork

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Specializes in ICU,acute respiratory care..
A registrar who happens to bring in a patient into our unit w/o the knowledge of our consultant was rowled out by the latter and was really trembling... (good for him, feeling oh-so superconfident when he entered our unit, as if!!) Now he got it and was told off to document the ceiling of treatment for the pt.. Trembling he wrote down:

"Pt. not for arrest in event of cardiopulmonary resus..."

Wicked me, i didnt ask him to change it rightaway when I noticed it.. I let everybody see it first before i bleeped him again to write it down properly...

++++++++++

In a tower of steel, Nature forges a deal,

To raise wonderful HELL,

LIKE ME, LIKE ME!! --Bjork

I wonder what you would have done if your patient had an arrest before that doctor came to revise that funny documentation:rotfl:

___________________

tutuo ba yan mate? sino ba yun ei?

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