Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in med/surg, neuro, ortho, cardiol.

Had a doc order a continual lady partsl betadine douche on this 450 pound woman. We did get it changed to a couple of times a day, but that was bad enough.....I requested the nurse that was helping me tie a rope around my foot in case I fell in ! all together now 1 2 3, pull.

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In the ER, pt with chest pain...elderly...asked if he drank alcohol..."no, never touch the stuff." Now he was giving off fumes that were making me woozy!! The wifes eyes got big and she looked at him and said, "yes, you do!! you drink a case a day." He replies, "only beer, never drink alcohol!!" He was serious....he was admitted and the doc wrote for "one can of beer, po, prn, up to 12 per day".

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Funniest that I saw was when an MD... perscribed MOM 30 cc constipation, for a LTC resident in the hosp. He had done this for 2 days. The floor nurse who had the patient was complaining to me that it wasn't working and she couldn't get the MD to right for anything else.

So I told her you don't have to have an order for a Prune Juice Cocktail. Explained to take your 30 cc of MOM and add it to 120cc warm PJ and mix it up.

The next day after rounds the MD came up to me and asked what I had given his patient. I'm expecting to be reamed out (he did that frequently), but he tells me he has never been able to get this lady to stop complaining about her bowels and she was just raving abut this wonderful cocktail.

I explained what it was and he walked off.He had been family practice the last 30 years, and had never heard of it. Do you know everyone of his little old ladies still comes in with an order for "Prune juice Cocktail PRN per request for constipation up to BID."

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

Just the other morning we had a patient woh was confused and becoming argumentative, after we sunk an NG to prevent her abd surgical site from dehising r/t vomiting (got over 1000 mLs out). She was screaming at the Doc. "I DON"T BELIEVE A THING YOU ARE TELLING ME!" I told the Doc that I was glad that the Pt had shared the love with her to. The Doc looked at me and says "She needs 40mg of Haldol, NOW." She then seriously had us push 0.5mg Atival STAT.

A doctor friend of mine wrote me a prscription for Fishing 8hrs/day PRN. Wish I could use it more often!

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I can't think of any unsusual orders but I remember working Med-Surg Nocs in a community hospital. We would have patients who were in for "Nausea and vomiting"

who nver showed any nsign of it. In giving report, I wondered why they hadn't been discharged. The day nurse said that their family went on vacation so the doctor admitted the person for 2 weeks. Can you imagine that happening now!!!

Soon to be retired Judy Rae

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Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

A doc on my unit wrote for Desitin Cream 30g tube prn anal chafing for a man undergoing a bowel prep for a colonoscopy.

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Specializes in Oncology/Chemotherapy.

cyanide is the hot new tx for mult myeloma who have failed all other chemo protocols--no joke

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cyanide is the hot new tx for mult myeloma who have failed all other chemo protocols--no joke
You know, I just read that somewhere. When I first saw it, I thought it was a typo, but heard then heard about it from a set of oncology nurses.
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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

"Flower care q 24h" (on an ICU patient -- not supposed to HAVE flowers in the ICU!)

Or this one, printed entirely in caps over an entire page of the order book" YES I DO WANT ABGS Q 1 HOUR EVEN THOUGH THE PATIENT IS A DNR AND EVEN THOUGH YOU LAZY MORONS HAVE TO STICK HER."

"Bathe before AM rounds." (THis poor lady was grossly obese and had not discovered the wonders of personal hygeine. She was in for a "work-up for feeling tired and run down." Couldn't fit into the shower -- too wide to get through the door. We put her in the tub, and sadly, she arrested there. She was pronounced before AM rounds.)

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Specializes in Geriatric Psych, Physicians office, OB,.

Saw this one in the nursing home:

"May have 8oz liquor of choice q 4 hr prn"

....I didn't even wanna ask.....

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Specializes in Oncology/Chemotherapy.

we are also using orificenic

You know, I just read that somewhere. When I first saw it, I thought it was a typo, but heard then heard about it from a set of oncology nurses.
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Here's a rather annoying order written by a first-year resident, on the floor of all places:

Nitropaste 1.5 inches to chest wall, q6h (fair enough so far),

"TITRATE" to SBP> 90 by wiping off 1/4 inch at a time.

How many of you folks have the time to stand by the bedside and take serial BP's when you have 10-14 patients all calling for you, just so you can "titrate" Nitropaste? :rolleyes:

OMG....destined to be a classic...:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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