Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

[nilepoc]

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

[JefferyRN]

"Ambulate in Hell bid"

Let's just say it was a long hot summer.

[jannecdote]

Transcribed by ward clerk:

Baloney amputation

What the doc said:

Below the knee amputation[/QUOT

Reminded me of a unit secretary that put "Old Timers Disease" as a diagnosis instead of Alzheimers. Sadly, she was diagnosed with it herself a few months later and retired.

[talaxandra]

I had a co-worker telling us about her work at a small hospital that had only a house doc, no intensivist in house. Pt having seizures, house doc wanted no part of him. She called intensivist at home at 2AM, only to be hung up on several times, then the doc left the phone off the hook. She sent the sheriff to his house, and received a phone call back from the doc with the order to "give ativan till patient stops seizing or stops breathing."

Two weeks ago we had an inpatient (known epilepsy, admitted with a healed foot ulcer, now has unstable blood sugars) who started focal fitting. After twenty minutes the neurology cover started ordering diazepam. After two hours, the patient was still twitching but really, really drowsy. Half an hour after that they called ICU because he was so snowed his respiratory status was threatened.

The next day, back on the ward but drowsy, the neuro consultant came up and wrote in the notes: "On-going focal seizures are not life-threatening. Going to ICU IS! Do not transfer to ICU without unit approval!"

Another time we had one of our end-stage renal patients on another ward. After three days of being called every four hours because they were worried about his (lack of) urine output, and didn't they think he should have a catheter, the unit demanded he come back to us because "You guys think 50ml/day is good!" :chuckle

[hospicenurse]

Not an order, but we had a doc, well known for saying whatever was on his mind, write in a patient's progress note: SSDD (same s**t different day) That one didn't go over too well w/administration. However, he is now Medical Director.

[southern_rn_brat]

The daughter of one of my patients was INSISTING that her mom have a coke every day in the afternoon. I, inadvertently, charted " daughter wants pt to have a co*k every afternoon". :imbar

I wasnt the one that found my little error either

[Lenap]

Incentive spirometry x10 qh-for a patient with a trach

Intermittent compression sleeves to wear at all times- for a pt with b/l above knee amputation.

Tylenol 650 mg prn for fever, pain for NPO patient that also had another order "Nothing per rectum".

:chuckle

[Lenap]

ok, this one is not from a chart...but still funny.

I went to iMac support website. This is actually from their page:

How to pick up and carry your iMac G5

Don't know how to pick up and carry your iMac G5? It's easy. Before moving your computer, make sure all cables and cords are disconnected. Pick up the iMac G5 by grasping both sides of the computer. Carry it to wherever you wish.

http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[boulergirl, CNA]

Here's something I saw on the show "ER":

Patient is flipping out, screaming that he wants a certain med--I think it was a narcotic--and he won't go home until he gets it. One of the ER residents tells a nurse to get this guy "OBECALP". Fortunately, the nurse didn't do it and the chief resident Dr. Kerry (who heard everything) chewed this guy out for prescribing a PLACEBO. Anyone ever had a doctor do this in real life?

[boulergirl, CNA]

Oops! I meant to say Dr. WEAVER, not Dr. Kerry! (That was her first name.)

[sstar4353]

On the chart of a recently deceased patient:

"Transfer to morgue."

[macspuds]

I so enjoy your publication site. You folks really know how to both inform and brighten one's day.

Thank you.

Lee Mcf

[kenurse]

Many of you are showing your youth and inexperience. 3H enema used to be a very common order. In LTC, wine is often given to stimulate appetite on little 80 pound patients. I suppose you've never heard of using sugar or MOM to put on decubiti to promote healing, either. Gone are the days when the docs from the old school come in and turn off the ICU monitor and tell you to look at the patient and treat the patient, not the machine! And what happened to giving a backrub at bedtime to every patient??