Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

How about a double amputee:

"ambulate qid 150 feet"

Keep 'em coming!! I am ROFLMAO!!! Keep trying to think of the doozies I've seen, but am laughing too hard!

I had an order for "a jigger of whiskey qhs" And how many cc's is that?????

I have heard of the "FLK" also, but the one that got me was a when I was working bed control at the trauma hospital. A resident called (this wasn't common practice, the ER clerk usually just faxed over the pt's info), but this resident called to get this TraumaMale a STU bed. I asked for his dx, and he said "FUBAR", I am like :confused:, and he is like "F***ed up beyond ALL repair/recognition" I was like :eek:, no he didn't!!! I have heard it used several times since then actually.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Originally posted by suzannasue

THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED.

:( :(

We have a large (supposedly best in the state) psych unit in our hospital that won't take psych patients from our unit til they are "leveled out" psychiatrically.

Duh, WHAT?

canna42 stole mine......

Not an order, but a progress note from md describing drainage as "pussy" instead of purulent. Pretty ignorant of the English language I would say.

The stupidist order ive seen written was my daughter had dental surgery(2 extractions). When I asked about something for pain control, he gradually took out his script pad and wrote an order. Not thinking I took the script to the pharmacy considering I didnt even look at it. After handing the script to the pharm tech, I noticed she started laughing ? When I asked her what was so funny, she handed me the script back. It read: 100 milkshakes p.o prn. ......................What a idiot! lol

Specializes in Med-Surg, Tele, ER, Psych.

Way back when, my peds instructor in nursing school was a vanderbilt peds nurse. She said that FLK was actually an accurate call for some kids because it characterizes an appearance that indicates something is wrong with the kid, but no specific diagnosis is made yet...so I guess a newborn could get that kind of dx.

Anyone ever heard of a 5H enema? One doc ordered it and I had only heard of a tripleH enema....it meant High Hot Helluvalot and Hold it til it Hurts. Who comes up with this stuff???

Specializes in ICU.

Saw one one a patient who was ? "faking" chest pain - "Shortness of breath increasing as I approached the bed."

Originally posted by dpqueen

I once had a doctor whose girlfriend was in the hospital and she wanted her hair to be colored so he wrote the order to apply Loreal to pt hair per instructions on the box.:confused: :confused: :confused: ......YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.

I told him that it was outside of my scope of practice, I did not learn how to do that in nursing school.

Are you serious? What do these idiots think we are?:(

I'm trying to be quiet (it's 3 am and my boyfriend is sleeping) but these are soooooo funny!:rotfl:

Here's some more...

While working at a small community hospital in the ICU one attending physician, who was older than dirt I might add, wrote the folllowing order in the chart of my patient (who was also older than dirt): "Do not electrocute." OK, I know he meant do not defibrillate, but I had to laugh.

The other classic came from an attending at the same hospital, same ICU. This wasn't my patient, but the nurse taking care of him was a little intimidated by the attending, who was notorious for being a bully and often hung up on nurses when they called her at home for orders. Frustrated from the multiple calls this new RN was making regarding the patient's declining condition (the patient's status was full DNR), she gave the RN the following order " "Do not call me until patient is dead!" And yep, the nurse wrote in in the chart.

Wow, no wonder I don't work there anymore!

Not an order, but this came back on one of our patient's UA.....

trace amounts of talcum powder. That was the first and only lab report that I have seen with talcum powder listed with everything else.

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