Life is beautiful if one has his/her life centered on God

CountryMomma, ASN, RN · Mar 6, 2014

Hi PHXRN1
That is where the misunderstanding lies. At no time did i painted myself as' no one can tell me' If anything I have shown myself to be vulnerable i am just as capable like anyone else to show unfavorable reactions, that's why i depend on God to give me the tools to carry on with my day.
You said to give constructive feedback. I have been doing that all along, but people do not like that kind of feedback. Instead I can hear anger from what is written. Why does speaking about God meet with such hostility? I just wanted to have a healthy conversation without people getting so upset. Is it so simple for some people to show their displeasure? Are we not the population to show more patient with each other, seeing that we vow to take care of people who are sick? If one cannot express himself/herself without saying things meant to hurt someone, what is that saying about how we treat our patients. Just asking!

I have not seen true anger in what others have said to you, so I'm curious if you are interpreting disagreement with your opinion (because that is what you are expressing, not fact) as anger.

I take no issue with your faith in your god. If that helps you get by, awesome. My gods help me get by also.

The issue many have had with your opinion is that you have decided that those non-believers are less patient, calm, effective nurses. And that, my friend, is nonsense of the first order.

chopwood carrywater · Mar 6, 2014

I do not. Relieve in god. I do have many friends who do: to each their own.

But I do feel sad for anyone who believes that we start off our lives I sin/being bad...

And that includes any deities out there as well. This reply is not really addressed to you; I think that your opinion is too ingrained to be changed - but I could be wrong.

This is more for others who are still open and not too ossified in their thoughts about how to live a good life and to be a good person. We all know so many people who live good lives and do good things and do not believe in god. Or they may believe in a different god(s).

And though I am definitely not well versed in the old or New Testament, in reading your words, it sure seems that you only seem to recognize and call out Jesus as god and lord. I often notice this with many very religious Christians.

Perhaps the father is a little too scary or perhaps it's that 'chosen people' issue that makes it uncomfortable for so many that they kind of slide over that part.

I have not done my best with this post but I think most would get what I am saying whether they agree with it or not.

chopwood carrywater · Mar 6, 2014

I don't think they mean to be insulting they are sharing their personal experience on what has been good for them. I can appreciate how personal beliefs helps them be a better person.

Esme I don't often disagree with you but I do feel that many of us have a right to be insulted by her statement that a nurse would be a better nurse if he/she believed in jesus. On the other hand I place very little value in her belief and she has no influence or control over my life, so personally I am not concerned. But If this nurse was to one day become someone with influence Nd control over other people, I would be worried. And I am worried by how often it already seems to be happening in so many places and so often with some higher power's higher cause as giving them the right to do so.

macawake, MSN · Mar 6, 2014

Why does speaking about God meet with such hostility? I just wanted to have a healthy conversation without people getting so upset.

I think that what you perceive as hostility is actually disagreement. The problem isn’t that you wish to express the joy and comfort your faith gives you. This is after all the spiritual section so a post on that theme is completely appropriate.

What a lot of posters, including myself, seem to have a problem with is the following:

I firmly believe, having a relationship with The Lord Jesus Christ will make one a better nurse, because of the love, compassion, empathy, understanding, calmness, and seeing people as unique human beings. All these can be yours when one accepts the Lord in ones life. You want to be a better nurse? Trust in the Lord!

Do you not see how potentially hurtful and quite frankly condescending your statement comes off to someone who doesn’t share your faith? A person who isn’t religious or confesses to another faith than yours can be every bit as compassionate, empathetic, understanding, calm and see and respect the uniqueness of other human beings as you do.

I want to be the best nurse that I can be and I achieve that through introspection, reflecting on ethical dilemmas, evaluating my work performance, read nursing and medical journals, participate in continuing education and keep up with the latest evidence-based practice.

I also eat right, sleep, get plenty of exercise and spend time with my friends and loved ones. For me this provides balance, stamina and a sense of accomplishment in both my professional and personal lives. This method works for me. I’m not saying everyone should subscribe to it.

Your belief system works for you and I do respect that. I’m glad that you’ve achieved harmony and feel a sense of purpose in your life (if I have interpreted your words correctly). I just hope that you can acknowledge that people can be excellent nurses and human beings without sharing your faith.

Simply put, our flesh is sinful. We are naturally sinners, not because we commit sin, but it's because we were all conceived in sin.

I don’t believe the above to be true. I’m absolutely fine with you believing that but it will never be my belief. And that is also fine. I believe that our genes (nature), our upbringing and environment (nurture) and last but not least the choices we make shape and define us. I simply try to be the best person I can be and to treat others with the respect and kindness that I hope they’ll show me. I am a big believer of that particular rule

It meshes well with my humanist persuasion.

chopwood carrywater · Mar 6, 2014

I don't think that at all. As a matter of fact I'm a Christian. I just don't believe that makes me a better nurse than someone who is Jewish, Atheist, Hindu, etc. I don't think my post was attempting to intimidate anyone. [/quote']
Now that's what I'm talking about!

chopwood carrywater · Mar 6, 2014

"Imagine an old friend tells you everything changed for him the day he realized he was destined to marry Angelina Jolie. It might occur to you to ask why does he believe this? Angelina Jolie is, after all, one of the most beautiful and famous people on the planet. Shes not incidentally married to Brad Pitt. They have something like 27 children! What if your friend, sensing your skepticism, said, Clearly you don't understand. This belief gives my life meaning. I now know my purpose in life: its to be Angelina's husband;? What if your friend said,This belief has made me a better person. I'm now incredibly kind to children, anticipating having to raise Angelina's once Brad leaves? Or what if your friend said,You can believe whatever you want, but I wouldn't want to live in a universe where I don't marry Angelina Jolie? It should be quite clear that your friend has lost his mind and is probably a dangerous person. Yet this is precisely the type of talk that so often passes for wisdom in religious circles, and may attempt to pass for wisdom here. Beliefs are not like clothing. Comfort and utility and attractiveness cannot be our conscious criteria for adopting them."[/quote']
And another well said response.
I wish we could all meet over a meal - and I do mean all - and have a nice round table discussion.
I know we all have to be careful about revealing our real names and faces, but wouldn't it be interesting to have an AN picnic.
And I am always ready to bring some Humble pie - unless I have already had to eat it.

chopwood carrywater · Mar 6, 2014

Hi PHXRN1 That is where the misunderstanding lies. At no time did i painted myself as' no one can tell me' If anything I have shown myself to be vulnerable i am just as capable like anyone else to show unfavorable reactions that's why i depend on God to give me the tools to carry on with my day. You said to give constructive feedback. I have been doing that all along, but people do not like that kind of feedback. Instead I can hear anger from what is written. Why does speaking about God meet with such hostility? I just wanted to have a healthy conversation without people getting so upset. Is it so simple for some people to show their displeasure? Are we not the population to show more patient with each other, seeing that we vow to take care of people who are sick? If one cannot express himself/herself without saying things meant to hurt someone, what is that saying about how we treat our patients. Just asking![/quote']
I tend to have issues with deities that are willing to fry people for eternity.

BrandonLPN, LPN · Mar 6, 2014

Hi HappyWife77
And we are not ashamed of it. God bless!

No one suggested you should be ashamed of it.

You say you started this thread to encourage a healthy discussion. Okay, good, but did you expect the discussion to consist of nothing but how much we love Jesus and how much we agree with you?

This room of Allnurses is called "nursing and spirituality", not "Christian nurses". As such, you should anticipate and even welcome debate and differing points of view.

I have always been puzzled by Christians who refuse to debate their beliefs. When I ask a fundamental Christian to explain, say, the documented fossil record or explain why the Native Americans never heard of Christ, I am usually met with silence and hostility or with vague clap-trap lacking any hard evidence.

It strikes me that if one believes in their faith they should be able to defend it in a lively debate. Otherwise, said faith couldn't have been too strong in the first place, right?

loriangel14, RN · Mar 7, 2014

Regarding the the title of this post, it IS possible for life to be beautiful without it being centered on God.I have complete respect for anyone's beliefs and I know that faith is a great comfort to many but it is not necessary for a happy life.

kakamegamama · Mar 8, 2014

"Beliefs are not like clothing. Comfort and utility and attractiveness cannot be our conscious criteria for adopting them".....

PHXRN1--I really,really like this quote. So many people seem to think that Christianity encompasses "comfort, utility, attractiveness" all the time. Sometimes, I wish that were true--my life would certainly be easier on some levels if that were the case. If one chooses to follow Jesus for those reasons alone, then at some point, one will be disappointed. (Although--of the 3, "comfort" is the one most consistently available for us, imo.) While there is beauty in the ugliness of the Cross, following Jesus is sometimes one of the most difficult and unattractive lifestyles I could have. Yet, so very, very worth it all.

And, I would hope that being a follower of Jesus would make me a better nurse, and if not, then it isn't Him...it's me....

PHXRN1 · Mar 8, 2014

"Beliefs are not like clothing. Comfort and utility and attractiveness cannot be our conscious criteria for adopting them"..... PHXRN1--I reallyreally like this quote. So many people seem to think that Christianity encompasses "comfort, utility, attractiveness" all the time. Sometimes, I wish that were true--my life would certainly be easier on some levels if that were the case. If one chooses to follow Jesus for those reasons alone, then at some point, one will be disappointed. (Although--of the 3, "comfort" is the one most consistently available for us, imo.) While there is beauty in the ugliness of the Cross, following Jesus is sometimes one of the most difficult and unattractive lifestyles I could have. Yet, so very, very worth it all. And, I would hope that being a follower of Jesus would make me a better nurse, and if not, then it isn't Him...it's me....[/quote']
Well I appreciate the thoughtfulness of your reply, I have to wonder what there is outside of those three metrics that causes one to believe. (Aside from tradition)
Comfort- A firm belief in God and an afterlife is often put forward as the most significant factor that helps people through difficult times in their life. Death becomes less unbearable with the belief that and eternity of peace and joy awaits on the other side. Tragedies are minimized by the understanding that it's all a part of "gods will", and therefore has a purpose beyond what we currently can comprehend. We are absolved of personal responsibility when we fail, because after all, it's just god testing you.
Utility- you get a built-in support structure from faith and religion. It provides a structure to your schedule and a social bonding network of fellow believers. Friendships are solidified from these social networks. Business opportunities present themselves as a result of the familiarity with the group and the shared morals you all possess. "That Johnson is a real stand-up fella. I know he'll be a great pick for the job, after all, I know what sound character he has from seeing how devout he is. And hey, even our kids play in the church softball league together!"
Attractiveness- you are automatically granted membership in the "moral majority". Your beliefs represent those of the VAST majority of the country. Your religious ideologies inspire and push legislation that fits within that chosen belief system. Yet somehow, through the power of televangelists, media pundits, and politicians, you've managed to proliferate the perception that you're victims.
I fail to see what could possibly be unattractive about such a life. And I would venture that the only part of life that would be easier would be not having to defend your indefensible beliefs to those that would challenge you and point out the logical failings of your positions.
You're a better nurse as a result of your training, experience, and personal commitment to excellence in your career. Enjoy taking credit for that accomplishment instead of thanking god for something "he" has nothing to do with.

kakamegamama · Mar 9, 2014

PHXRN1--Sorry for the delay in response. I will respond based on my own experiences.

Comfort--Yes. However, tragedies are not minimized. For instance, my dad was murdered when I was 10; my husband dropped dead of a massive MI 12 years ago. I could not comprehend these then, and still do not. However, I TRUST that God desires what is best for me and that this is part of His plan for my life. Doesn't mean I rejoice in those things, but instead I cling to His truth---He is always faithful, and has been to me throughout my life, regardless. It was awful growing up without a dad, and living in the goldfish bowl of his death (he was a state trooper murdered in the line of duty, and the only one in our town to have had that happened).

Failure and personal responsibility? Nope. I am not absolved at all when I fail. It isn't God's fault when I screw up--it's mine. Perhaps CHALLENGES may be God's way of allowing testing in me, but screw-ups and failures are mine alone to own.

Utility--Thank you for your perspective on this, and I can certainly see how what you mention would appear to be the case. I guess for some people, business opportunities DO present themselves via the relationships built in this network, although that has never been my experience. Yes, there is a built-in support structure, and one that may be more encouraging than from the secular world. However, to some (and, I've had this experience very recently), most support outside of family and close friends came to me from a very secular group of people. Sadly, that is not the way we are called to be as followers of Christ. We are called to bear one another's burdens and mutually supportive during times of hardship/struggles.

Attractiveness.....again, a perspective that I appreciate. I do wonder though why this is any different (the legislative stuff, etc.) from having ones secular ideologies chosen to push through legislation that fits within that chosen belief system, etc. I'm assuming "you've" is collective, not me personally. In some ways there is a victim "mentality" among us who claim to be Christians. In some ways, there is truth to that...those incidents are often not discussed via mainstream media, so the general public would not be aware. And really, in America the Christian has a way to go before we can rightly say we are persecuted (in general), in my opinion. I took the "attractiveness" comment from your earlier post to have a different meaning. Really, if one is following Christ as He says we should, there may not a lot of attractiveness to it....and the attractiveness comes from the love of Christ, the desire to have peace for all, the desire to have harmony, that sort of thing. The attractiveness of true Christianity is not the things, but the spiritual--the relationship that we have with God and the promise of eternity with Him.

As to not finding such a life unattractive, I can see why it would appear that way. Perhaps, however, this might help.....it isn't attractive when 33 Christians are about to be executed in North Korea because they are Christians, or on a "lesser" note---Christians who go to jail for years because they had a Bible in their home.

As to an easier life.....I wish! (Not really, I gladly do what I do, where I do, when I do.) The logic of Christianity does seem illogical to some. It is a matter of ones presuppositions.

Thank you for your kind words about my being "better as a nurse". Yes, I am the one who put forth the effort. And, I do relish those accomplishments. However, I respectfully disagree---God is the one who gave me my brain and abilities.

As to your wondering what causes one to believe...for me, watching others who profess to believe and how they live/lived out their lives has had a huge impact on me. I saw that there was something more than what was obvious and wanted that "something". I went to the Bible and read and found what that "something" is. I guess it's faith in those words and what Jesus claims for Himself. I'm still a work in process.