Nursing Admissions/Admitting Nurse In Gay Marriage States

[DoGoodThenGo]

As gay marriage will now be legal as of this Sunday in NYS my mind wondered about something.

In states where such things are already legal do hospitals has admitting personnel/paper work switched to the more general query regarding "spouse" rather than the old fashioned "husband" or "wife"?

[cherrybreeze, ADN, RN]

When did HIPPA say that anybody (even if married) could automatically have info = the patient has to consent to anybody getting info. In the event of an emergency (big one), then there's the hierarchy of who is able to give consent....be a lot less chaos if durable power of attorney for healthcare were in place- then the 'husband', 'wife', or 'spouse', or 'partner' would be irrelevant.

I am not personally speaking to the HIPAA/privacy issue. If the patient is awake, alert, and able to make a decision as to who gets info, then no, it doesn't matter if they are married to their SO or not. To document, I usually use "significant other." I am speaking to knowing legally who steps in should that become an issue. Totally different.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

I am surprised by how many people are so offended by the terms "husband" and "wife" (esp straight-forward, heterosexual married couples). I would have no problem being called my husband's wife (if I were married, that is, maybe that's the problem?). Can anyone explain that to me? I certainly wouldn't call it "archaic"! It seems like people think it's an offending or insulting term.

First of all, as often as the term "husband" or "wife" is still used in modern lexicon without incident, I also completely disagree that it is "archaic." Perhaps someday. Certainly not at present.

I also don't see cause for offense.

Definition of wife from free Online dictionary:

A woman joined to another person in marriage; a female spouse.

From Merriam Webster:

a female partner in a marriage

I don't know any married couples of the same sex (though I'm sure that won't be the case for too much longer), but I do know that Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi refer to each other as "my wife." Obviously there is no official policy sent down from some Gay/Lesbian authority which reflects universal offense at the term.

As this is a relatively new social phenomena (at least from a legal perspective), I imagine cultural traditions regarding vocabulary of marriages, both same sex and opposite sex, remain to be established and will evolve over time.

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

We should always say partner, to everyone, regardless. I recommend crossing out whatever nomenclature appears on paperwork and replacing it with "partner" in all instances.

Would make life easier but I don't agree with this ....

'Partner' can be considered a loaded political term and many people resent the attempt to enforce social change onto them (read into this what you may)

'Partner' is an inappropriate term for many relationships as it really only pertains to sexual partner and friend partner for many in the younger generation. They are not life partners - there is no differentiation between serious life partner and fleeting youngster relationship when use the term 'partner'.

Even re older persons in a relationship when they are only really dating and there is no real sharing of home /finances/ family .... suddenly these people have become 'partners' ... ?really. Partners of what ? .... dinner dates, sex, limited family interaction. These people also have their own lives but they are now 'partners'. Perhaps it's to avoid the boyfriend/girlfriend thing when in their 50's ... LOL

It cracks me up when we have 19 yr old boyfriends and girlfriends referring to themselves with the PC 'partner'

Next months relationship will be 'partner' too....

[everwonder_y]

I am surprised by how many people are so offended by the terms "husband" and "wife" (esp straight-forward, heterosexual married couples). I would have no problem being called my husband's wife (if I were married, that is, maybe that's the problem?). Can anyone explain that to me? I certainly wouldn't call it "archaic"! It seems like people think it's an offending or insulting term.

Why should heterosexual married couples care less about "husband" or "wife" terms? Because they are not the marginalized minority? Heterosexual relationships are somewhat superior?

I'm not so much offended being addressed as a "wife", but I just don't like it at all. LOL

Marriage (fortunately) has evolved to be more than a union based on biology and procreation, it is a legal partnership and each couple can define their own boundaries or parameters for the relationship. I think gendered titles/labels are no longer useful and can sometimes be exclusive. IE. Policeman, fireman, chairman, etc.

Language has a lot of influence in shaping our ideas and perception. I think a more universal language is more inclusive and supportive to a diverse society/culture. Anyone can grow up to be police officer, firefighter, chairperson, etc, now days :)

My marriage is an equitable partnership, thus my partner and I do not feel "husband" or "wife" are applicable in describing our relationship. We are legal partners who chose to form a union based on our unique connection, not because of our biology or ability to procreate. Sadly, not everyone has the same access to this right.

I respect however else anyone wants to describe their relationship and will address people how they specify they like to be addressed. However, by default and in an official capacity I will go with partner or spouse. I think there will be some ambiguity as our society is in flux; until everyone has equal rights to marry

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

Why should heterosexual married couples care less about "husband" or "wife" terms? Because they are not the marginalized minority? Heterosexual relationships are somewhat superior?

I'm not so much offended being addressed as a "wife", but I just don't like it at all. LOL

Marriage (fortunately) has evolved to be more than a union based on biology and procreation, it is a legal partnership and each couple can define their own boundaries or parameters for the relationship. I think gendered titles/labels are no longer useful and can sometimes be exclusive. IE. Policeman, fireman, chairman, etc.

Language has a lot of influence in shaping our ideas and perception. I think a more universal language is more inclusive and supportive to a diverse society/culture. Anyone can grow up to be police officer, firefighter, chairperson, etc, now days :)

My marriage is an equitable partnership, thus my partner and I do not feel "husband" or "wife" are applicable in describing our relationship. We are legal partners who chose to form a union based on our unique connection, not because of our biology or ability to procreate. Sadly, not everyone has the same access to this right.

I respect however else anyone wants to describe their relationship and will address people how they specify they like to be addressed. However, by default and in an official capacity I will go with partner or spouse. I think there will be some ambiguity as our society is in flux; until everyone has equal rights to marry

I have no issue with 'wife'

To me it has no negative meaning .... nothing about subservience or inferior status

[cherrybreeze, ADN, RN]

Why should heterosexual married couples care less about "husband" or "wife" terms? Because they are not the marginalized minority? Heterosexual relationships are somewhat superior?

I'm not so much offended being addressed as a "wife", but I just don't like it at all. LOL

Marriage (fortunately) has evolved to be more than a union based on biology and procreation, it is a legal partnership and each couple can define their own boundaries or parameters for the relationship. I think gendered titles/labels are no longer useful and can sometimes be exclusive. IE. Policeman, fireman, chairman, etc.

Language has a lot of influence in shaping our ideas and perception. I think a more universal language is more inclusive and supportive to a diverse society/culture. Anyone can grow up to be police officer, firefighter, chairperson, etc, now days :)

My marriage is an equitable partnership, thus my partner and I do not feel "husband" or "wife" are applicable in describing our relationship. We are legal partners who chose to form a union based on our unique connection, not because of our biology or ability to procreate. Sadly, not everyone has the same access to this right.

I respect however else anyone wants to describe their relationship and will address people how they specify they like to be addressed. However, by default and in an official capacity I will go with partner or spouse. I think there will be some ambiguity as our society is in flux; until everyone has equal rights to marry

First bolded sentence......I did NOT say that. I asked about that specifically because it's the most common, oldest type of "marriage." Nothing more.

Second bolded sentence....I don't feel the terms "husband" or "wife" have anything to do with "ability to procreate," etc. Biology doesn't really matter, either, a woman married to a woman is still her "wife." It simply means that you are a female, married person. It's fact, not derogatory. A woman's female spouse is her "wife," procreation is not part of the definition. It just determines your gender (as does Mister, Missus, or Ms). Nothing more read in to it than that.

As far as equal rights to marry....not really the issue. And like I said, a man's male spouse is still his "husband." And whether or not everyone has the legal right to marry doesn't make any marriage irrelevant. The laws and allowances for spouses simply IS different, whether everyone agrees that it should be or not. A "partner" that is a boyfriend or girlfriend is not the same as a "partner" that is a spouse. Fair or not, it is what it is, and I'm not making a political argument either way.

How do the terms "husband" and "wife" imply an UNequal partnership?

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

First bolded sentence......I did NOT say that. I asked about that specifically because it's the most common, oldest type of "marriage." Nothing more.

Second bolded sentence....I don't feel the terms "husband" or "wife" have anything to do with "ability to procreate," etc. Biology doesn't really matter, either, a woman married to a woman is still her "wife." It simply means that you are a female, married person. It's fact, not derogatory. A woman's female spouse is her "wife," procreation is not part of the definition. It just determines your gender (as does Mister, Missus, or Ms). Nothing more read in to it than that.

As far as equal rights to marry....not really the issue. And like I said, a man's male spouse is still his "husband." And whether or not everyone has the legal right to marry doesn't make any marriage irrelevant. The laws and allowances for spouses simply IS different, whether everyone agrees that it should be or not. A "partner" that is a boyfriend or girlfriend is not the same as a "partner" that is a spouse. Fair or not, it is what it is, and I'm not making a political argument either way.

How do the terms "husband" and "wife" imply an UNequal partnership?

Current PC doctrine dictates that we see it as an unequal partnership and therefore the titles must be done away with.

Sheesh .... I sometimes feel we are in Stalin's Russia with these PC change agents dictating to us

[MunoRN, RN]

That doesn't make sense. So, the patient is in surgery, and something more needs to be done (for example). You are saying that the patient's "significant other" (meaning, boyfriend or girlfriend, if not married) is asked for consent BEFORE the adult child is? That is wrong. Not legal.

I think most states do designate an adult child ahead of a non-spousal "significant other" but mine doesn't. I can't find my state's definition online, but here is New Mexico's which also lists Spouse, then SO, then adult child:

http://www.lawhelp.org/documents/4473816%20Seniors%20POA%20info%20(SCLO).pdf

[GM2RN]

It cracks me up when we have 19 yr old boyfriends and girlfriends referring to themselves with the PC 'partner'

Next months relationship will be 'partner' too....

Yeah, also cracks me up during triage when I ask a young person if they are single and they say "no." I mean as opposed to being legally married; they mean that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

[everwonder_y]

Whoa, I was speaking of marriage and gender pronouns in a social and cultural context. Citing how gender pronouns/lables have influenced our perceptions (like policeman vs police officer, etc).

I was also stating my personal preference for address, as a heterosexual married female.

Eh, to each their own.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

My marriage is an equitable partnership, thus my partner and I do not feel "husband" or "wife" are applicable in describing our relationship. We are legal partners who chose to form a union based on our unique connection, not because of our biology or ability to procreate. Sadly, not everyone has the same access to this right.

I respect however else anyone wants to describe their relationship and will address people how they specify they like to be addressed. However, by default and in an official capacity I will go with partner or spouse. I think there will be some ambiguity as our society is in flux; until everyone has equal rights to marry

Why would calling each other husband or wife reflect any inequity in the relationship? Should we eliminate all terms which reflect gender because there is some automatic assumption that anything female must automatically imply inequality or anything male implies rank? Should we insist our children call us "parent" because mother or father imply gender or biology? How does calling someone a husband or wife negate in any form a legal partnership based on a unique connection? Like you, I'm not calling into question your right to call your mate any word you want, but I disagree that as used in modern English those words imply anything regarding a power distribution or even the ability to procreate. Whether or not a partnership is "equitable," has little to do with the nomenclature attached to it, and everything to do with bond/respect/commitment of those involved. One could have the exact equitable relationship you describe with both involved happily using the words "husband" or "wife." Similarly, a couple using the words "spouse" or "partner" could just as easily consist of an abuser/submissive with no real positive relationship whatsoever.

I do agree with others that "significant other" is probably the best terminology in an official capacity because not every partnership is composed of legally bound individuals.

I also firmly believe marriage between any two humans is a concept whose time has come and it is only a matter of very little time before it is a universal right.

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

Sigh. This PC world kinda sucks.