Nurses With Depression

I know that I suffer from depression. It was there before I started nursing school. I have found that at times, the stress makes the depression worse, or maybe I feel more stress because the depression has worsened. I'm not sure. It seems like alot of my nursing friends are on antidepressants, but people in general seem to be on more antidepressants now days.

I believe that I have been depressed since junior high school - about the time when menarche appeared. It took a perceptive MD to see the symptoms and suggest some counseling and antidepressants when I was in my 30's. Since then, I took them for a year, I went off for about 5 years, and then went back on when I moved back into the Midwest. I don't think I'll ever go off them again. "So this is what normal people feel like," I say.

The only reason it seems that more nurses are on them is that we are aware they are there and see how they help many. If everyone could see that, there would be even more people on them. Kind of like insulin pumps. Did you know that a high percentage of the people who are on insulin pumps are healthcare-employed? Knowledge changes the game.

i was wondering, is it possible that if you state in your pre-employment physical you were taking anti depressents that management will have an eagle eye out on you? is your chances of being fired increased because they know you suffer from depression?

The post on Andrea Yates got me thinking about the subject of depression and specifically, nurses with depression. I'm not sure that nurses have depression more than the general population, but with the stresses of the job; intense working conditions, rapidly changing technologies, high emotions surrounding the sick and dying patients, staffing issues and so very many other factors, I can see how that could be a strong possibility. Not to mention the variety of personal issues we all face in daily living. I know that phycians have a very high rate of depression in the profession. I know so many nurses who are in treatment for depression. Anybody have any thoughts on this situation?

Based on personal experience and the very wise counsel of a wonderful physician my reply is that much of what is termed depression is mainly the effects of sleep deprivation. Although I was originally angry that he would not prescribe anti-depressant medication for me, I learned to appreciate his belief that it is a grave mistake to try to cover up symptoms without dealing with causes. He convinced me that it was up to me to apply what I had learned in A & P to take charge of my life and see to it that I maintained a schedule that allowed me to get the sleep that was needed to keep me in good health.

The first change I had to make was to insist on a work schedule that did not have me working until midnight and then being back on the floor the next morning at 7:00. Did I lose that job? Yep! While I was looking for another nursing job, I scraped barnacles from boat hulls, and incidentally discovered that barnacle scrapers got paid more than nurses did. They also worked straight days, outside in the fresh air, and wore very protective clothing to protect them from the hazards of the job. The regular hours, sunshine, and regular meal times worked wonders for me. By the time the deep, dark depression faded away, I was strong enough to know that I did not really want to make a career of barnacle scraping, and had enough self-confidence (and enough dollars in my savings account) to know that I did not have to settle for a second-class lifestyle that left me tired and unhappy all the time.

I had no problems working evenings or nights, as long as the schedule was stable, and I could keep the same regular hours until I was well accustomed to them. I simply could not, however, and would not, work several different shifts in one week. Why was that so difficult for some nursing administrators to understand?

Based on personal experience and the very wise counsel of a wonderful physician my reply is that much of what is termed depression is mainly the effects of sleep deprivation. Although I was originally angry that he would not prescribe anti-depressant medication for me, I learned to appreciate his belief that it is a grave mistake to try to cover up symptoms without dealing with causes. He convinced me that it was up to me to apply what I had learned in A & P to take charge of my life and see to it that I maintained a schedule that allowed me to get the sleep that was needed to keep me in good health.

The first change I had to make was to insist on a work schedule that did not have me working until midnight and then being back on the floor the next morning at 7:00. Did I lose that job? Yep! While I was looking for another nursing job, I scraped barnacles from boat hulls, and incidentally discovered that barnacle scrapers got paid more than nurses did. They also worked straight days, outside in the fresh air, and wore very protective clothing to protect them from the hazards of the job. The regular hours, sunshine, and regular meal times worked wonders for me. By the time the deep, dark depression faded away, I was strong enough to know that I did not really want to make a career of barnacle scraping, and had enough self-confidence (and enough dollars in my savings account) to know that I did not have to settle for a second-class lifestyle that left me tired and unhappy all the time.

I had no problems working evenings or nights, as long as the schedule was stable, and I could keep the same regular hours until I was well accustomed to them. I simply could not, however, and would not, work several different shifts in one week. Why was that so difficult for some nursing administrators to understand?

Excellent post!

Thank you for sharing your experience in such an articulate manner. And thank you as well for being willing to experiment and listen to your own inner rhythms and needs. As nurses, we're so encouraged to fill the gaps and be all things to all people that we fall off our own radar.

Barnacle scraping's loss was nursing's gain.

Thanks again for a great post.

Working in the assisted living place I did had me depressed and not even knowing I was for years! Then I started seeing that I was drinking more on my time off, very quick to temper, never feeling happy even on a sunny day, and not being loving towards my husband! It was like seeing what the elderly go through subconsciously stayed in my mind as 'why bother getting old then???".

With the support of my family, I went to the MD and I got on a very low dose of Paxil, and I went and got some books on depression (Depression for Dummies was a great one actually with good tools to do!). With some research, I found that my depression or habits that could cause depression ran deeper than I thought, starting in high school or earlier...and found out it ran in my family!

With the med help (which we did find I had a seritonin probelm so the paxil was sooooo helpful!!!) and real dedicated reading and doing some tools from my depression books, I really came out of it. I also found that I needed to leave that job for a while and get into something I felt was more my special tallent...I am more technical and love doing that..and at the assisted living..we had none of that, and that was deep down upsetting me. I quit, and got an agency job and now I float to where ever I wish, the times I wish, the days I wish, and get to explore other fun areas of nursing I didn't get a chance to before! I felt 'worth' something again, not to mention no longer surrounded by death and dying daily!!!!

The best thing I think was doing the tools...I found my coping mechs and what I actually did to myself to cause extra stress, or things my family did to cause stress and how I interpreted them to cause depression...same with at work! That was sooooooooooo worth taking the time to do!!!!!!

By the way...I am called SMILEY at work now...you never see me without a smile and happy comment! Even some MD's had to laugh at me yesterday when a colostomy bag blew up on me and I was covered in...ya know..and I was still smiling and joking!

I love my job, family and life again!!!!!!!

Working in the assisted living place I did had me depressed and not even knowing I was for years! Then I started seeing that I was drinking more on my time off, very quick to temper, never feeling happy even on a sunny day, and not being loving towards my husband! It was like seeing what the elderly go through subconsciously stayed in my mind as 'why bother getting old then???".

With the support of my family, I went to the MD and I got on a very low dose of Paxil, and I went and got some books on depression (Depression for Dummies was a great one actually with good tools to do!). With some research, I found that my depression or habits that could cause depression ran deeper than I thought, starting in high school or earlier...and found out it ran in my family!

With the med help (which we did find I had a seritonin probelm so the paxil was sooooo helpful!!!) and real dedicated reading and doing some tools from my depression books, I really came out of it. I also found that I needed to leave that job for a while and get into something I felt was more my special tallent...I am more technical and love doing that..and at the assisted living..we had none of that, and that was deep down upsetting me. I quit, and got an agency job and now I float to where ever I wish, the times I wish, the days I wish, and get to explore other fun areas of nursing I didn't get a chance to before! I felt 'worth' something again, not to mention no longer surrounded by death and dying daily!!!!

The best thing I think was doing the tools...I found my coping mechs and what I actually did to myself to cause extra stress, or things my family did to cause stress and how I interpreted them to cause depression...same with at work! That was sooooooooooo worth taking the time to do!!!!!!

By the way...I am called SMILEY at work now...you never see me without a smile and happy comment! Even some MD's had to laugh at me yesterday when a colostomy bag blew up on me and I was covered in...ya know..and I was still smiling and joking!

I love my job, family and life again!!!!!!!

Hello TriageRN_34:redpinkhe:nurse::redpinkhe

I understand that this is an old thread, but I am so happy that I found your reply to this post . I had just started working at an assisted-living facility earlier this month and now, I'm actually on antidepressants because of it. I have battled depression several times in my life (I'm 26 now), so it's nothing new . I'm waiting to become accepted into nursing programs and this job seemed ideal, because I wanted something that wouldn't be so stressful or demanding, because I haven't worked in 5 years. By the second week, after seeing lonely, depressed, and sickly elderly people -it really got to me -which I didn't expect at all, I thought I could handle it. I would complete my duties in a few hours and have 6 hours of nothing left to do. I worked alone on a gloomy floor, and when I had to enter each resident's apartment to pass out meds, "their world" seemed even more depressing (room gloomy-lighting, smell, poor hygiene, some just sitting on a chair in the corner or sitting on the bed just staring, some with no television or radio to entertain them). It made me think of me as an elderly woman, and it made me think of my children when they're elderly -and will we be the same way when we're that age, but I was mostly worried about my children.

Then I would come home feeling a pinch of relief, but my mind was still at work and replaying all of the "what if" questions and then I started thinking of how I'm missing moments of my children's lives because I'm at work -it was just a swift change for me that took me by surprise because I thought I was ready for it. It made me think, "Is nursing for me if I'm going to get depressed over assisted-living?" I cried for four days straight -it was bad, really bad. Now, I'm at home for a week or so until the medication "kicks in" and then I'm supposed to return to work, but I don't think I'll be returning there. I think I need a faster paced work environment, where I see a variety of age groups, and where I get to at least walk passed coworkers constantly -instead of hourly. I think I need to work in a hospital or clinical setting. Although my husband is a great provider for our family, money is funny these days, but my sanity is far more important -otherwise I'm good to no one, not even myself.

I'm still fighting this depression, but just like you helped me with an old post, hopefully I can help another nurse feeling this unfortunate way. Thank you for shedding some light on my thoughts, now I don't feel so alone in being depressed while nursing. Thank you!:redbeathe:clown::redbeathe

THanks for this thread - The idea that an existing depression might worsen as a nurse or nursing student had occurred to me. Yes, and nursing homes in particular would tend to fuel that. I was wondering how someone with depression and anxiety would handle the emotional uphevals and stresses of nursing and being a nursing student. I start our local program in January and millions of thoughts race through my head as to how to stay above water. I don't feel that my moods are particularly stable to begin with. Although my diagnosis is not bipolar, I do have frequent mood swings which I am attributing to menopause (I'm of that age). I am known to cry easily and hypersensitive is a frequent epithet for me. I am a lot better than I was a few years ago when I was hospitalized too many times to count. I am determined to stay out of the hospital (that one, anyway) for good and have learned many coping skills. However, I have relapsed and do fear that. I have a few months to stabilize myself. I am working hard with exercise, biofeedback, eating healthy and going to therapy. Sorry for the candor here, but I have to fix things before disaster strikes in January.

Your thoughts?

I know in my 3 years as a RN - and from my 26 years of working in hospitals in various positions - that nursing and hospitals can be downright bleak, insanely busy & depressing places. And as I said on another thread not long ago, nursing can suck the life out of you, what with patients who act like vampires, & it is very soul-destroying. Not everyone agrees, they find nursing uplifting. But I think if u don't have a great childhood or come from a family who are morose or who have mental illness (like mine), nursing is probably more depressing than to other people with disimilar backgrounds. I myself write a journal & that helps chase the blues away, exercise also helps many including me and burning lavender oil has shown to decrease depression, anxiety & when put under a pillow, helps you sleep. But I have also realised that I don't thing nursing suits my sometimes dour personality - and the lack of accountability I see in the mentally ill especially appalls me lately. I had a passion for psych nursing, but even that has waned & I'm getting so I don't feel like I make a difference at all anymore.

I believe everyone's depression is unique though & only u know what it feels like. U have to learn to live with it most times & learn also what works for you with work. If u like nursing & don't want to give it up, can u have a day off during the week to help you re-charge your batteries for example? Can u go part time instead of full time? Only you know your depressive cycles & your down times.

In the ED last week, I had a daughter of a patient who really wanted to talk re her anxiety & depression, & how it was affecting her & her kids. I didn't have time to talk to her & told her to see her doctor as I can't give medical advice. But I felt horrible; she really needed someone just to listen. And that is what makes ME depressed as a RN - most times, I don't have time to listen to my patients who are suicidal or depressed, though I do stay back and try to make time. That is what gets to me. Nobody really cares anymore and families don't have each others backs - people don't have time to listen & really communicate. That is the one big problem, I think.

Well, I start in January 2012 and most indicators are pointing away from nursing, particularly in light of the depression thing. I have a few strikes agains me. I came from an abusive childhood - my mother was an alcoholic and my father did nothing to stop her from beating us up. But I've forgiven them by now since they were both dysfunctional and couldn't help it. I am hypersensitive in the true sense of the word and I've been told that I have "high level of arousal", as it's expressed in psychological terms. It doesn't take much to get me nervous, crying or falling apart. Doesn't bode too well, does it? However, I can still bide my time until January.

We shall see.