Nurses That Eat Their Young

[kitcatt24]

I will have a side of humility with that...

My career beginning...

The phrase "nurses eat their young" is often said. I learned it quite early in my career. I was perplexed on why an older, wiser nurse would not want to show me the ropes, why they would they not want to guide me and mold me to their perfect mini me. Most of the time nurses did not want to be bothered with training others, they did not have time or they just plain did not care. Many times I was just left to fend for myself wondering if I was going to make a major error or worse actually kill somebody because nobody wanted to take the time to speak to me or give me eye contact. I promised early in my career I was never going to be to like that. I would always make that nurse feel welcomed and comfortable in coming to me for advice or questions. Feeling unwanted was such a horrible feeling.

I came through with all my promises year after year through many different types of jobs. I have always had the mentality that I treated people just how I wanted to be treated. It worked just find most of my life until 2013.

As the years move on...

I came across a person that I had never encountered before in my life. I met Shelly in June she was bubbly, fresh, not the sharpest tool in the shed but was so sweet. I invested quite a bit of time working with her, building her self-esteem up. Explaining reports and charts. The jobs we had at that time had a lot to do with marketing so we spent hours doing role playing on marketing scenarios. I taught her how to analyze reports, and compare it to our competitors. I was so proud of her on how well she caught on.

Well, there is also another saying "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me". Shelly was playing me! She was collecting data the entire time in order to further here career, to take a jump forward. Shelly then moved forward in the company received an award with the information I gave her and claimed it as her own. Shelly got a pay raise and I stayed at the same rate. Shelly also moved up in positions and I stayed in the same position. I was so angry and upset. The thoughts that went through my head first, besides running her pretty blonde head over with my car was, This is why us older, wiser nurses eat our young. Yes I did run in the mirror and double checked. I have become that older nurse overnight. I am now protective of my knowledge. I felt worse now than when I was that young kid nurse who barely knew anything. I felt like I was tricked, I felt old, out played and too slow. This was never going to happen to me again, I told myself. I was never a ladder climber...but I certainly was not going to sit here and hold the dame thing while others climbed it!

Common ground...

So where is the common ground? Where you do stand where you not have to eat your younger coworkers for breakfast, lunch or dinner, and you do not completely give them all of your trade secrets? Why this phrase is only said in the nursing field? Are we to be exempt from this type of behavior because our job is for caring for others? Do we have some sort of godly quality that makes us magical or something?

My promise...

I can promise to be kind to others, be caring and I can reflect on that one act to not be true to every young nurse out there, and not every older nurse eats their young. We all have knowledge to share and the only way this knowledge is going to be passed on is to share it and we will have to take that leap of faith as we do everyday as we care for or patients to empowers those who will be there when we can no longer go on.

[Nurse3000]

nurses eating their young can be a breach of code of conduct

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

This article and its title are moronic and deliberately written to generate controversy. These stock photos are chosen to perpetuate every negative stereotype about the Nursing profession. Most of these "articles" have as much credibility as Star magazine and it is embarrassing.

[SmilingBluEyes]

This article is nothing but an opinion piece. Lacks credibility and is just set for controversy.

[Nurse3000]

all points valid

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

nurses eating their young can be a breach of code of conduct

Huh? I can't tell if you're making a funny or if you're being serious. I hope you're not being serious.

[Nurse3000]

Huh? I can't tell if you're making a funny or if you're being serious. I hope you're not being serious.

Hi Rubyvee,

Yes, as much of a clown as I am, unfortunately, in this instance I am being serious.

Sadly nurses treating others unfairly is a breach of the code of conduct which in some instances, can be discussed, and hopefully resolved with the person harassing or the manager. After all, we are being paid to be nice to each other. We don't get paid to do a disservice to someone or something.

Please read below to see how I have come to this opinion/conclusion of how "Eating our young", i.e. bullying, lateral violence, browbeating, oppression, intimidation, badgering someone, pressuring, force, nag, etc. in the workplace is a code of conduct.

I'd like for others to remind others that this is obviously a legal document and one of the NSW Health (Australian) Code of Conduct. I think it's a great guide to be followed:

"... Respect

.We treat our colleagues and patients with dignity and respect, and care about those around us.

• Each of us is responsible for workplace culture and performance.

• We have zero tolerance for bullying and no-one, no matter how senior, is exempt.

Empowerment

• We encourage and support local decision making and innovation.

• We accept that with local decision making comes responsibility and accountability.

• We make best use of resources and experience to meet patient and community expectations.

• While we seek direction from our leaders, we believe that everyone is empowered to make a difference in our workplace.

• As individuals, we can improve our workplace culture and performance by addressing issues that hold us back.

• We strive for individual excellence on behalf of our patients and our teams, and to deliver the best possible care and services

4.1 Promote a positive work environment Staff must:

4.1.1 Treat patients and members of the public with courtesy and respect and with due sensitivity to the needs of people with different backgrounds and cultures

4.1.2 Treat all other members of staff (irrespective of whether they are at the same level of seniority, or more senior or junior) in a way that promotes harmonious and productive working relationships, and a collaborative teamwork approach

4.1.3 Not bully or harass other staff, patients or members of the public, or discriminate against them on the basis of their sex, race, ethnic or ethno-religious background, marital status, pregnancy, disability, age, homosexuality, transgender or carers' responsibilities

4.1.4 Not encourage or support other staff in harassing or bullying, or in acting in a way that is contrary to harmonious working relationships between staff members

4.1.5 Where appropriate, attempt to settle any complaints, disagreements or grievances involving other staff themselves in the first instance; or pursue such matters through their manager or a more senior member of staff in a way which is proportionate to the issues raised, utilises applicable NSW Health policies, and recognises that in any process to resolve such matters other staff also have

2.4 What to do if you are concerned about a breach of the Code

Staff should report any breach or concerns about a breach of the Code to their manager.If staff are not comfortable about reporting to their manager, they should report the matter to a more senior staff member. In some circumstances, such as allegations of corruption,there is a mandatory requirement to report matters to external agencies.

2.5 Protection for people who raise concerns about a breach of the Code

NSW Health is committed to protecting any person who raises concerns about a breach of the Code from retaliation or reprisals. Any attempt to take detrimental action against a person who raises a legitimate breach of the Code will be treated seriously and may lead to disciplinary action.

Further, it is a criminal offence to take reprisal against a whistleblower under Section 20 of the Public Interest Disclosures Act 1994 where a disclosure falls within the scope of that Act..."

For more details please see here:

http://www0.health.nsw.gov.au/policies/pd/2015/pdf/PD2015_035.pdf

What do you think about it all Rubyvee?

I'm keen to hear your values, beliefs and points of views on the subject. Therefore, I can gain a wider perspective on the matter.

Thanks,

Regards,

Nurse3000.

[sonia211, BSN]

Nursing involves taking care of other people's lives. This is 1 of those professions where sharing your nursing knowledge should be a priority. It never bothered me to share my nursing knowledge with the newer nurses because I know it can only lead to better nursing care for a patient in the future.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

nurses eating their young can be a breach of code of conduct

OK, so you were serious about this perplexing comment and even went so far as to quote a legal document at length to show that nurses eating their young can be a breach of code of conduct. How about young'uns munching on their elders? CNAs piling on nurses?

I am absolutely positive that if you go to work looking for nurses eating their young, you'll find it. Even if it isn't actually present in your workplace. If you go to work looking for bullying, you'll find it. And if you're looking for an excuse for why you're receiving so much negative feedback in your first year of nursing, claiming it's because "NETY" or "I'm being bullied" makes a much better excuse that "I need to brush up on my neuro assessment skills and work on time management." And these days, much of what I've seen described as "bullying" or "young eating" by new nurses actually consists of someone's inability to accept criticism. Nursing is too important a job not to be able to accept criticism. Nobody -- especially not someone brand new -- gets it right ALL of the time. We need to be able to accept negative feedback and incorporate change into our practice.

Let's just do away with the "NETY" cliche and maybe we can all work together to improve our practice and make care safer for patients.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

From Nurse3000

Yes, as much of a clown as I am, unfortunately, in this instance I am being serious.

Sadly nurses treating others unfairly is a breach of the code of conduct which in some instances, can be discussed, and hopefully resolved with the person harassing or the manager. After all, we are being paid to be nice to each other. We don't get paid to do a disservice to someone or something.

Please read below to see how I have come to this opinion/conclusion of how "Eating our young", i.e. bullying, lateral violence, browbeating, oppression, intimidation, badgering someone, pressuring, force, nag, etc. in the workplace is a code of conduct.

No one has denied that bullying, lateral violence, oppression, intimidation, etc. are bad things and possibly a breach of a code of conduct. I've read many a Code of Conduct and I've never seen one that prohibits nurses eating their young. (Or their old.) That's just a nasty expression that made someone a lot of money and has generated term papers and dissertations for folks who would rather write about "soft science" than hard science. That nasty expression ought to go away.

Incivility in nursing is no more prevalent than in is in the general population. But unfortunately a lot of new nurses go to work looking for bullying, NETY, lateral violence, etc. And if you go looking for something, you'll find it. So why not focus on the good in others? You're a whole lot liklier to find it that way.

[Nurse3000]

From Nurse3000

No one has denied that bullying, lateral violence, oppression, intimidation, etc. are bad things and possibly a breach of a code of conduct. I've read many a Code of Conduct and I've never seen one that prohibits nurses eating their young. (Or their old.) That's just a nasty expression that made someone a lot of money and has generated term papers and dissertations for folks who would rather write about "soft science" than hard science. That nasty expression ought to go away.

Incivility in nursing is no more prevalent than in is in the general population. But unfortunately a lot of new nurses go to work looking for bullying, NETY, lateral violence, etc. And if you go looking for something, you'll find it. So why not focus on the good in others? You're a whole lot liklier to find it that way.

Hi Rubyvee,

Sorry, if I have offended. I'm not sure, it's a bit hard to determine via chat. However, I'm just concerned about the comment where 'people go to work 'looking for bullying'. I don't quite understand. However, I can see you point where someone might be oversensitive about getting words been told.

In my eyes, it's about mutual respect. It doesn't have to be sugar-coated, just professionally stated in a matter-of-fact way. People DO bully. If one is being nasty to someone else (and others), and constantly, that is is bullying... It's evident from hearsay and is included in countless literature pieces.

It does not have much to do with contructive criticism. However, if it is said in a way that is demeaning, humiliating, berating manner, and consistently. It is bullying. And, you're right, we all have the potential to bully one another no matter how sernior or junior. The thing that is intimidating is the fact that more experienced nurses have the oppportunity to practice their leadership skills and lead by example in a way that can be firm but fair, maybe even kind and gentle, depending on the person's mood recieving the feedback/criticism, but as long as its fair but firm. Not demeaning, disrespectful, dismissive, hopeless, or "arrogant" in nature, it's OK.

Bullying is real. A not so good leader can reduce the morale, seem intimidating, unapproachable, arrogant, lead to a decreased productivity, more sick days, higher staff turnover, and just an all time punishing experience for some staff, patients and families just because of someone's sucky ego. .

Eating their young may be a disrespectful term in itself, but don't take it personally. It's a figure of speech. And, in my eyes, it is a form of bullying which should be stamped out. People ARE NOT stupid, and deserve compassion, patience and due consideration at all times. OK, outside work, it's a different thing, it's a crazy world out there. Inside work, we are bound by laws and ethics and we are getting paid to be good to eachother, afterall we are supposed to be promoters of health. Indeed, being nasty to eachother (with absolute exclusion of feedback or constructive criticism - which we've all got to take and consider) is not health promotion; in fact, it can promote bad feelings, thoughts, behaviours, excessive stress and illness if the ward culture dares to feed off of it.

And I agree, we should see the best in people, no matter how senior, junior or role youre in. That's creativity, and creativity creates change and all those great things that come with that. Yay!

I guess sometimes it comes down to what sort of nurse we want to be. Not who we are in downtime, but at work.

To all reading this: What sort of nurse do you want to be?

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

.However, I'm just concerned about the comment where 'people go to work 'looking for bullying'. I don't quite understand.

We are talking about confirmation bias. If someone hears about all this "nurses eat their young" and expects to experience it on the job, they are likely to identify interactions as such because they expected interactions to be congruent with "nurses eat their young". Attitude counts for a lot. Going in with a negative expectation means that likely the negative expectation will be found, even if it's a false positive.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Hi Rubyvee,

It does not have much to do with contructive criticism. However, if it is said in a way that is demeaning, humiliating, berating manner, and consistently. It is bullying. And, you're right, we all have the potential to bully one another no matter how sernior or junior. The thing that is intimidating is the fact that more experienced nurses have the oppportunity to practice their leadership skills and lead by example in a way that can be firm but fair, maybe even kind and gentle, depending on the person's mood recieving the feedback/criticism, but as long as its fair but firm. Not demeaning, disrespectful, dismissive, hopeless, or "arrogant" in nature, it's OK.

Eating their young may be a disrespectful term in itself, but don't take it personally. It's a figure of speech.

"Eating your young" is a very disrespectful term -- and has been become a hot button for many senior nurses who have poured time, care and energy into precepting a new nurse only to be accused of "NETY" the moment some criticism is offered that the newbie perceives as less than positive. Some new nurses -- and the number seems to be growing -- cannot seem to accept negative feedback. ANY negative feedback.

As far as your point about consistently offering negative feedback, what would you have us do if the newbie is consistently screwing up? There was one orientee (not mine, thank goodness) who complained that "I'm being bullied. Every time I give insulin, she gets on my case!" True -- but every time she gave insulin, she tried to give it with the wrong syringe -- of course her preceptor "got on her case." I guess the preceptor could have said "There, there, Newbie. It's OK. You killed your patient with an insulin overdose, but you've done great active listening with the family."

Your point about varying the feedback to the mood of the person receiving the feedback seems strange, too. Feedback should be varied to the situation, you're right, but it shouldn't all be dependent upon the orientee's mood. If the orientee is consistently attempting to give insulin with the wrong syringe, obviously the negative feedback from the first few times isn't sinking in. Time for a bit more strongly worded and strongly delivered feedback.