I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.
Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.
Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"
I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.
I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.
You aren't taking advantage of the system. The system is taking advantage of you. You have an illness just like a person with a bad back, diabetes, Crohn's disease or any other chronic illness. Sadly people with mental illness are stigmatized by the insurance companies, by the government, by our employers, by our relatives, and yes by each other. We need to stop letting people stigmatize us and start educating. It has been done by people with epilepsy and traumatic brain injuries. Why can't we do it? I get tired of the system telling me that I cannot do something because I'm a person with a mental illness. I used to enjoy bird hunting. I trained my own dogs and loved going to field to watch them work. I no longer can bird hunt because I cannot own or use a firearm. It doesn't matter that I have never committed a crime or used a firearm in a negative way. It's because I have been hospitalized for bipolar disorder. Yes my 2nd amendment rights went right out the door with this "lovely" diagnosis. The same can be said for some of the nurses that have written on this forum on how they were screwed over by their co-workers, employers, and nursing boards. This was not done because of incompetence but because of a medical diagnosis. If this were another diagnosis, I'll bet that a fear of discrimination would fall on people's minds before licenses were pulled and good nurses sanctioned. There has got to be a way to get around crap like this. Our rights should not be stomped on because we have been diagnosed with a mental illness. We should be able to maintain the right to live and work to the best of our ability irregardless of our diagnosis.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
You aren't taking advantage of the system. The system is taking advantage of you... etc.
Yep, I agree. It's hard to get that from my head to my heart though, even some of my church doesn't understand and has a hard time w/ people having to take meds, etc., so when I had my relapse it just took me longer to seek treatment and by then it was almost too late - I was suicidal at one point - even tho I had no plan in place my mind was trying to come up with one, and I wasn't telling anyone about it either (at the time).
Which is a terrible thing because we know suicidal thoughts are just temporary, or at least can be made manageable...
I do have to admit that over the years my family has learned a lot about mental illness, there are 3 of us of 10 with it now ( or should I say "with it diagnosed" lol) - so they've kind of had to. They are a lot more supportive than they used to be, which helps SO SO MUCH!
Specializes in PACU, HIGH RISK OB, EARLY CVTRANSPLANT.
I believe I may have said this before in the post that was lost, but it boils down to our profession still having the attitude of the general public. The same attitude that leads to us "eating our own young". If we are going to going to disqualify a disorder that may impair any of us then we must disqualify all disorders that might impair any of us. That means hypertension, glaucoma, diabetes, arthritis, essential tremor, grief, personal problems, etc. Most any life situation that befalls us throughout life can disable us at anytime for a substantial part of our working life. What sets those of us who have the strength and courage to admit we have a mental health disorder and seek help is that we have admitted and have gone for help to cope and want to be as strong and capable as possible, not as secretive nor use it as a crutch to get out being responsible for our responsibilities. We want help to be as good a providers of care as we can be. We realize that sometimes others can see subtle changes before we might notice them. Can you understand how much courage it takes to ask someone else to tell you "if you notice anything you see amiss, would you please mention it to me? I promise you it won't offend me, you will be doing a favor not only to me, but to everone else. I will promise you. If you are mistaken. I won't be upset. I will always thank you for your concern and consider you my best of friends. The worst thing would be, would be if no one said anything and I got out of control and something happened to one of my patients. That would the worst. I don't think I could ever forgive myself. With your help. I don't think that would happen here. Thank you so much. I am so lucky to work with nurses like you."
Now I haven't had to ask this very often in my 34+ years as a nurse in critical care. Maybe once or twice over that time and only when I was in crisis in my personal life at home and I have had nurses ask me the same when their circumstances at home were similar to mine when they didn't have a mental illness diagnosis that was like mine, but were so distracted by their problems at home they hardly could concentrate at work and feared they would make a mistake that might injure their patient and they just needed the help of their fellow nurses and we were all happy to help a fellow sister nurse in need. I never couched my desire with the caveat that my need was based in my need due to my mental illness because it's exacerbation was due to the personal strains due to my home condition as were those of my fellow nurses so I felt no need to explain any further, it wasn't until my eldest son was incarcerated due to selling drugs and went to prison along with my deteriorating marriage that my psychiatrist felt that my meds and psychotherapy wasn't taking care of my Type II Bipolar depression that was worsening and felt I needed a round of ECT after 22 years of good control to make my brain more receptive to the meds that I had to reveal to my employer of 16 years of my underlying disease that I would need 3 weeks of FMLA for this procedure (2 weeks for the procedure, 3 X a week and one week to recover my short term memory) and then I would be able to return. My supervisor was very supportive, and I had no reason to feel that there would be any problems after I returned to work. I had a spotless record there and at my former employer, where I had been employed for 17 years, also with a spotless record and many accomplishments of note. I come from a small rural state, and while I have what one might think as something less than a highly educated background, I have a large number of college hours in many science subjects (160+) and had once been accept in medical school, a very high IQ, I have taught as adjunct faculty in a local university, been nationally certified in several subspecialties, and been very fortunate to be in the right place at the right time to work in and with history making doctors and procedures (high risk OB/fetoscopy, heart transplants after the moratorium was lifted in 1981 in Houston and the real first artificial heart in 1982 even though it wasn't recognized because the FDA didn't approve it.)After my return, from FMLA, I noted a change. Not from my coworkers or the docs. Although there were questions, everyone seemed to be relieved to see that I was my same old self. Except that I seemed happier and I openly shared what I now knew about ECT and they were interested in knowing it wasn't at all like they had remembered being taught or seen as I had so long ago. I spoke with the anesthesiologists and we arranged to give a short seminar during our monthly staff meeting in PACU where I worked. At the time, we didn't do these procedures in the hospitals, but that would soon change and it became so handy to have me around for pre-procedure teaching....and post procedure reassurance.
What I didn't notice....my director and the administration. Now, I have been in healthcare for 40+ years AND am married to a hospital administrator. I understand the tightrope these guys walk between providing care and making enough money to provide care. (these are hospitals of a not-for-profit system). BUT, my job is to advocate and provide the best care for my patients. Considering when I became a nurse and the fact I could have gone to medical school instead, I'd say I didn't get into nursing for the fame and the money....when I graduated nursing school in 1977 I made $4.54/hr and the most I have ever made in a single year working full time is $58,000. I have worked the majority of my career in PACU, where I have worked "mandatory" overtime and taken call every week and every weekend. Since my husband is a hospital administrator, he is on call every day, 24 hrs and we haven't had a vacation for the last 10 or so years, just a day or two here and there and usually he has to go in to work at least once or twice each time unless we actually go out of town and still they call him. I think I have a right to draw the line in the sand at some point on how much I will compromise my standards of care vs length of stay. When a patient is unable to maintain their airway, I don't care what hospital protocol says about when a patient can be discharged to the unit or home, they aren't going anywhere, they are going to stay right there in PACU because they don't meet the Aldrete score for discharge. I don't give a damn who says they are ready I have eyes and I know if a patient is safe to be alone or not for any time at all and when they are not, no one especially someone without any bedside clinical skills is going to tell me any different and I will not leave the patient no matter what I'm told. The law is on my side. It's called patient abandonment and I've dared them to call the police to come and arrest me and they wouldn't. They just waited until the next day and told me not to come back and fired me for insubordination. But, I've tried everyother tact up to that and nothing else would work and I refused to have one of my patient's die like the other nurses in my unit and I was the only one. Now I am unemployable, and my reputation is that I am impossible to work with. I think that it stinks. It is like I either stand up for what I know is right and lose, or I cave in and feel like a whore. What a Catch 22. What would you have done? My last job, I was working for a hospice, and I was loving it. Until I was asked to commit Medicare Fraud. Now, I wouldn't do it, but I explained to my employer I didn't care what they did, just don't involve me, I didn't care what they or other nurses did, I just wanted to do my job. I knew I didn't have enough to do them any harm and I didn't want to know, I just wanted to work and do my job. I know that was a cop out on my part but I did want to work and I know the system stinks and I can't fix it by myself, just don't make me actively participate in it and I won't squawk.
I have learned that if you ask for help for a mental illness, that the likely hood of losing privledges, rights, and other parts of your life increases dramatically. I know (now) from reading this forum that if I were to go into human nursing that I would be unemployable. I'm glad that I chose the animal side as it seems that the vets ar more open minded than their human counterparts. Granted I make a lot less money and don't have many health benefits but I have an enjoyable job and work for a wonderful practice in spite of the demons in me. Actually I'm not a danger to my patients as much as I'm a danger to myself. It seems to me that this is common in most people with a mental illness. We destroy ourselves.
I have to say that as a pre-nursing student I am so very glad that I found this site. I have found a tremendous amount of information that was encouraging, useful, scary, and hilarious. I have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder along with hypertension (since early 20's). I am a very compliant patient who takes meds like clockwork, try to utilize my support systems, and to take a break every now and then. What other techniques would help someone such as myself survive not only nursing school, but working in the real world? I already work in the medical field as a Registered Medical Assistant and have worked as a general nurse aide before. I feel this will help some but need some input. I have read don't let others keep you down, learn as much as you can, keep your head up, and try to stay out of politics as much as is possible.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
...I have found a tremendous amount of information that was encouraging, useful, scary, and hilarious.
I like the way that you put this. Yep that describes this place for sure!
It sounds like you have already learned to apply the principles you will need to get thru school and nursing. Adequate sleep and nutrition, taking time off when needed, having a support system that will give you both support and honest feedback, also knowing when you are in over your head (that last is really difficult for me) hope to hear from you more as you progress! :)
Yes I am interested in knowing if it even make sense for me to become a nurse at the first place. I supposedly am bipolar which i do not believe I am. I have had depression ADD and anxiety for a while. I have seen a lot of discrimination and bad attitude towards my condition. If nurses are not allowed to practice with a psychological condition, it has to be clear from the first day to the students. Such a waste of my money and time for three years. I could have done better things with my life as a guy.
I have....issues....but I'm still going for my RN!!!
I've spent too long being held back by my ADD, PTSD, anxiety and depression (one doc suggested bipolar, but apparently my mood swings are common with other issues, such as the PTSD, so I'm not diagnosed), and a good 'ole fun ED.
Honestly...having nursing to work towards has given me so much motivation...I've worked harder to get myself to a healthy point!!
I'm only torn on bringing up any issues while I'm in school. I don't see the need right now...but even with meds my ADD can negatively affect my life
anyway. I don't see why you should give up just yet!
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I have....issues....but I'm still going for my RN!!!
I've spent too long being held back by my ADD, PTSD, anxiety and depression (one doc suggested bipolar, but apparently my mood swings are common with other issues, such as the PTSD, so I'm not diagnosed), and a good 'ole fun ED.
Honestly...having nursing to work towards has given me so much motivation...I've worked harder to get myself to a healthy point!!
I'm only torn on bringing up any issues while I'm in school. I don't see the need right now...but even with meds my ADD can negatively affect my life
anyway. I don't see why you should give up just yet!
I agree!
I would try asking disability rights people to check into it for you anonymously - maybe your local psych hospital would know who you could call (the social worker)
I have learned my lesson about sharing my disability with people at work. I will never do it again. It seems like people found more and more things wrong with me when I told them I had ADHD. I also had a coworker tell me that she thinks I have Asperger's Syndrome (I know enough about that one to know that I definitely don't have it), and that was a bit off-putting. In my next job, I will keep things to myself (an ADHD person often has HUGE difficulty with that), and have a resource to go to outside of work or EAP in order to discuss those things.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I have issues, and I am an RN!!!
I have learned my lesson about sharing my disability with people at work. I will never do it again. It seems like people found more and more things wrong with me when I told them I had ADHD. I also had a coworker tell me that she thinks I have Asperger's Syndrome (I know enough about that one to know that I definitely don't have it), and that was a bit off-putting. In my next job, I will keep things to myself (an ADHD person often has HUGE difficulty with that), and have a resource to go to outside of work or EAP in order to discuss those things.
Hi all! I'm new to this board. I just would like to say I am very thankful for this thread. I've been diagnosed with depression since I was in high school. I've been a nurse for 3 1/2 years and I love it. I can't imagine doing anything else.
Anyway, I've found myself going downhill for the past couple of months. I've been very anxious, not wanting to work a whole lot, taking call a lot. I've been criticized a lot by my coworkers for doing so. Little do they know, my depression is flaring up again. They all see me as being lazy and just not wanting to work. I just always feel like it is nothing but drama around there. Everyone is always in everyone else's business. I feel like I'm pretty much the whipping boy. Everyone is always telling me, you need to work. They say I've changed since I got married (in November). Not to mention they all thought I was crazy for getting married so quick anyway. Everyone always puts their two cents in...on everything. I feel like it's such a terrible environment to be in. (there is a whole lot more to the story, but that would take too long...)
So, back to the point, I had a breakdown last night. I got very anxious and started bawling and couldn't stop for hours. I scared my husband to death...I even scared myself. I ended up having to call in, which I'm sure I'll get in trouble for because that is an issue as well. Anyway, I just told them I had a family emergency...I would really rather not have them know. I'm just not sure of where to go from here. I've never had an episode quite this bad before. I have an appt today with my Dr. I'm sure he'll change my meds, but I think I need more then that. I've never been to a therapist before and I'm thinking that might be very helpful. My question is, what do I do about work? Do I approach my boss and tell her what is going on? Did I mention she was the type to let everyone know whats going on, no matter how personal? I just really don't know where to go from here. Any thoughts?
Fuzzy
370 Posts
You aren't taking advantage of the system. The system is taking advantage of you. You have an illness just like a person with a bad back, diabetes, Crohn's disease or any other chronic illness. Sadly people with mental illness are stigmatized by the insurance companies, by the government, by our employers, by our relatives, and yes by each other. We need to stop letting people stigmatize us and start educating. It has been done by people with epilepsy and traumatic brain injuries. Why can't we do it? I get tired of the system telling me that I cannot do something because I'm a person with a mental illness. I used to enjoy bird hunting. I trained my own dogs and loved going to field to watch them work. I no longer can bird hunt because I cannot own or use a firearm. It doesn't matter that I have never committed a crime or used a firearm in a negative way. It's because I have been hospitalized for bipolar disorder. Yes my 2nd amendment rights went right out the door with this "lovely" diagnosis. The same can be said for some of the nurses that have written on this forum on how they were screwed over by their co-workers, employers, and nursing boards. This was not done because of incompetence but because of a medical diagnosis. If this were another diagnosis, I'll bet that a fear of discrimination would fall on people's minds before licenses were pulled and good nurses sanctioned. There has got to be a way to get around crap like this. Our rights should not be stomped on because we have been diagnosed with a mental illness. We should be able to maintain the right to live and work to the best of our ability irregardless of our diagnosis.
Off my soapbox,
Fuzzy