Nurses secretive about getting another job

[Emergent]

We have a Per Diem nurse 'Karen' who also is Per Diem at another hospital where I used to work. There's others from there and a lot of back and forth. Another coworker who also works both places let it slip to me that she thought Karen was now orienting at a 3rd nearby hospital. There's some of our nurses who work there as well, lots of openness, no restrictions from management at all.

So I sent a friendly text to Karen asking how she's doing, that I hadn't seen her in awhile. She said she's been really busy with her daughter's graduation. Mind you, she and I have been workplace friends. I later confirmed with a nurse that went to that 3rd hospital fulltime, staying Per Diem with us, that Karen has been there a lot orienting.

So, Karen is being secretive, which is ridiculous since nursing is a small world where it's going to all come out in the open anyways. No one would ever bat an eye about her picking up another job since there've been fewer of the day shifts that Karen likes available lately.

So, why would someone be secretive about this?

[Emergent, RN]

1 minute ago, TitaniumPlates said:

"I guess I have always seen no reason to hide a second job. Lots of nurses have them, it's no big deal."

Then why does it bother you so much that you're rubbing your hands together that she "underestimated the nurse grapevine".

She's shown you that it's none of your business. I'm not sure why this is an issue for you.

Why does it bother you that I bring this subject up and my observations. This forum has been a bit dull lately.

Obviously, Karen doesn't want to share this, but word always gets around. It's not malicious to discuss happenings. Why does that ordinary human activity bother you so?

I find, when people are more open, it's less of an issue. When people hide ordinary news, it leads to speculation.

[Emergent, RN]

6 minutes ago, TitaniumPlates said:

Not an excuse to be in her business.

It obviously pushed your buttons ?

[TitaniumPlates]

1 minute ago, Emergent said:

Why does it bother you that I bring this subject up and my observations. This forum has been a bit dull lately.

Obviously, Karen doesn't want to share this, but word always gets around. It's not malicious to discuss happenings. Why does that ordinary human activity bother you so?

I find, when people are more open, it's less of an issue. When people hide ordinary news, it leads to speculation.

It doesn't bother me. At all.

Discussing "ordinary human activity" isn't what you're doing. You said so yourself..."this forum has been a bit dull lately". This is pot stirring.

What happened to going to your job and just doing that---and letting other people run their private lives how they see fit? If she doesn't want to confide her personal business...then it's not up to you to dictate that she does.

[Tammy Purdie, BSN, MSN]

Wow!!! What business is it of yours or anyone else's where she works or how many jobs she has? Nosey and gossipy much???!!!

[Emergent, RN]

I can see this thread is going no where. Carry on. Sorry I brought it up.

[TitaniumPlates]

2 minutes ago, Emergent said:

It obviously pushed your buttons ?

Nope. We deal with nosy nellies very effectively in my department.

we tell them complete confabulations and watch them run with it so that they look foolish.

after a few of those little juicy tidbits that aren't true--the noser usually gets the hint that if the information isn't being freely given---it's not your business to know.

[Gericare25]

Well I started a per diem home care job in March and only told a few coworkers. I recently decided to go per diem at my full time job. Today the scheduler overheard me talking about my home care job and got pissed saying she thought I went per diem to be with my family more and not “just leaving us to work another job”. I went per diem for my mental health because the work environment is toxic and I can only handle so many days there anymore. So while it may not seem like a big deal, there are coworkers, schedulers, management, etc that will treat you differently or feel you’re less committed because you have another job.

[GoodWifeLife, LPN]

Personally, I don't like to bring my other person stuff into the work place. If I am at a facility that is OK with outside Per Diem work, I may mention it to a close work friend if they are looking and my new place is hiring.

I wouldn't worry about it. If Karen doesn't feel like sharing her new employment, it is her business to not share it. If your feelings are hurt because Karen is your friend, you could always just ask her. If you do not feel comfortable asking her, she may not be that close of a friend after all.

To answer your question, none of us have any idea why someone would choose to be secretive. Only that individual knows the answer to that.

[nurse grace RN, BSN]

Some people like to keep their business private and don't appreciate people nosing around their business.

The information could cause problems when schedulers hear about and make assumptions.

[vanilla bean]

31 minutes ago, Emergent said:

No need to be sarcastic. It's unproductive. I'm bringing up the general subject of nurses being secretive about their second jobs. Karen is only an example.

Sorry Emergent, sarcasm is my default setting. I'll make an attempt to contribute something productive to the conversation. Here goes: personally, I don't feel any obligation or desire to share the decisions regarding my professional life with anyone, whether they feel entitled to that information or not. If my coworkers/work friends become upset, feeling that me not sharing that information with them is me being secretive and/or wondering why I would try to "hide" it because they'll find out anyway, I would be confused by that perspective (and legit would probably say something sarcastic to them in response, unproductive or not).

[Krystle Michele Cothran]

Maybe she just doesn’t want you to know.

[Daisy4RN]

In this situation I think that your coworker is trying to keep the info quiet because she either doesn't want the manager and/or HR to find out. As others have stated it could be due to scheduling concerns. Or it could be due to a personal reason that she doesn't want to either disclose at all and/or become public knowledge. If you are friends I would try to talk to her in person instead of text. Sometimes people are more open when talking r/t not wanting to leave a paper trail.

Thx for more musings by Emergent!