No alcohol. NONE

  1. Hey everyone!
    I am brand spankin new in recovery and just signed my contract last week. I am in recovery for opioid use. I understand the reason behind not using any mood altering substance while in the program. However, just because we understand something doesn't make it easy. This past weekend was so hard for me.. and not because of narcotics. I am 26 and live in Charlotte with my boyfriend. Of course.. this past weekend we met up with friends for dinner and immediately I'm questioned as to why I didn't order a drink with dinner. Then everyone wants to check out a new brewery downtown but I am DREADING IT because I know I can't drink and have to come up with ANOTHER explanation. I guess I didn't realize how often alcohol is involved in my social life. I don't care to quit drinking, but I guess its just the CONSTANT excuses I will have to give to people which will be a constant reminder of my mistakes. I'm also a little upset about no champagne on my wedding day or margaritas on my honeymoon. How have you guys delt with this? Has it been difficult for anyone else? Thanks!
    •  
  2. Visit Nursebry91 profile page

    About Nursebry91

    Joined: Jan '18; Posts: 39; Likes: 63
    from NC , US
    Specialty: 1 year(s) of experience

    39 Comments

  3. by   meanmaryjean
    Not trying to be snarky - honest. Why don't you just tell them the truth? If they are truly friends, they will understand and support you.
  4. by   Nursebry91
    I didn't take it snarky. I guess I'm just not ready for that yet. I'm still so ashamed and embarrassed. And I've just recently relocated to Charlotte to be with my boyfriend. They are his friends and his friends wives or girlfriends. Not my close friends. It's so hard to just come out and tell someone "yeah... I know I drank with you 2 weekends ago but since then, I was caught stealing and shooting up narcotics from my hospital. So now I'm in recovery." Eventually I want to be able to do that. I can't hide this my entire life. My family knows. My close friends know. They are supportive. It's just everyone else I'm ashamed to tell.
  5. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Yeah you can't drink. It sucks but you gotta follow the rule for the period of time you are in this nonsense. As far as other folks? If they aren't that close does it matter that much? I just tell people I choose not to drink for now
  6. by   elkpark
    What's wrong with just telling people you're experimenting with taking a break from alcohol? People do that. And you don't really have to justify it to anyone, anyway.

    Best wishes!
  7. by   Big Blondie
    Just tell them alcohol gives you reflux. No more explanation necessary.
  8. by   catsmeow1972
    Sometimes I think it's not so much at not being able to drink in front of friends, or even not being able to drink at all, as it is that OP is being told that she cannot by a faceless organization and now has to come up with something to say to people that she is not quite ready to tell or have no business knowing that she is in recovery.
    If one has truly chosen recovery for themselves, that is one thing. Being forced into the situation requires a person to essentially lie. Does that not violate one of the major precepts of AA?
    I personally have this situation easy. I've never been a drinker and forever and a day have taken meds that strongly advise that one should not drink. It's gotten to where I can make an almost tasteless joke about it. OP is in the more common boat that folks on this page are.
    Especially with people that she does not know well, I can say I would not be very comfortable with having to make constant excuses either. Even though it may be meaningless and probably quickly forgotten to the person who asked, "oh I'm just choosing to not drink" is a lie that would chew at me because I would know that's not my choice.
    None of this contract crap is anything that I care to shout from the rooftops either. I have associates in nursing who don't know any of this exists and are horrified about it. I have friends outside of nursing that I have finally gotten close enough to to try and explain and they don't. Understand how it can even be legal.
    Last edit by catsmeow1972 on Feb 23
  9. by   nurse_girlie
    Nursebry, I can't message yet. Did you have to do an evaluation? I ask because I am facing doing a 5 day one just to recieve licensure (since graduating).
  10. by   Lisacar130
    My favorite excuse is that I am on a medication that does not mix well with alcohol. You don't really have to elaborate more than that... but it's a realistic excuse.
    I think all of the anti anxiety and antidepressants say not to mix with alcohol because it could increase side effects and/or the effectiveness. And of course benzos and alcohol are a no go.
  11. by   Recovering_RN
    I totally understand what you're going through! I didn't tell anyone except my (ex now) husband and I was stunned to realize how much every social situation in my life revolved around alcohol! Parties, weddings, "let's get together", restaurant dinner we always have wine, and now the table isn't ready so let's go to the bar for a drink while we wait for our table, wedding and baby showers, everything!! Intellectually I knew that lots of people don't drink, when I looked back at all our family vacations and various family outings like camping or boating, I knew that while I drank beer or wine at all these things, my teenaged kids had a good time without ever touching alcohol, so seriously, i know it can be done it's just....I'd never done it!

    Anyway, for me, I avoided many many social situations for the first year or so. After that, I attended a few parties and asked for nonalcoholic drinks at the bar, and no one asked me about it! I figure either they thought it was awkward because maybe I had a problem with alcohol that they didn't realize, remember I'd been out of that social scene for a year, or they just didn't notice. I've come to realize that most people are much more interested in themselves than they are in anybody else!

    Finally, as far as excuses, I've come up with a bunch, because I have no intention of telling my friends about this. I'm dieting, watching my calories or carbs, I have a slight headache and I know the alcohol will make it worse...yes I've already taken ibuprofen thank you...I'm feeling a bit tired right now and I know that wine will just put me right to sleep.

    I actually had a very hard time giving up alcohol. I missed it, I still do. I didn't drink large quantities at all, but I liked my wine with dinner or a shot of whiskey in hot tea with lemon and honey on a cold night, cold beer while out boating, etc. Not every day, but at least two or three nights a week. I never missed it enough to risk trying to take a drink and hope I don't get tested though!
  12. by   Nursebry91
    Quote from catsmeow1972
    Sometimes I think it's not so much at not being able to drink in front of friends, or even not being able to drink at all, as it is that OP is being told that she cannot by a faceless organization and now has to come up with something to say to people that she is not quite ready to tell or have no business knowing that she is in recovery.
    If one has truly chosen recovery for themselves, that is one thing. Being forced into the situation requires a person to essentially lie. Does that not violate one of the major precepts of AA?
    I personally have this situation easy. I've never been a drinker and forever and a day have taken meds that strongly advise that one should not drink. It's gotten to where I can make an almost tasteless joke about it. OP is in the more common boat that folks on this page are.
    Especially with people that she does not know well, I can say I would not be very comfortable with having to make constant excuses either. Even though it may be meaningless and probably quickly forgotten to the person who asked, "oh I'm just choosing to not drink" is a lie that would chew at me because I would know that's not my choice.
    None of this contract crap is anything that I care to shout from the rooftops either. I have associates in nursing who don't know any of this exists and are horrified about it. I have friends outside of nursing that I have finally gotten close enough to to try and explain and they don't. Understand how it can even be legal.
    Thank you so much for understanding me and my fears. I appreciate it more than you know. Also, I don't know the age of everyone on this forum... but at age 26 I feel like all of my social events involve alcohol. Its gonna be a long painful road and this constant reminder just makes it worse
  13. by   Nursebry91
    Quote from nurse_girlie
    Nursebry, I can't message yet. Did you have to do an evaluation? I ask because I am facing doing a 5 day one just to recieve licensure (since graduating).
    Yes I did mine today. Mine was thankfully a very short (2 hour) eval and I was told I have a mild opioid disorder. I have never heard of a five day eval?
  14. by   catsmeow1972
    The 5 day ones seem to frequently be the precursor to holding you hostage long enough to find out if there's $$$ to be had. In my case it was claimed to be for "neuropsychiatric testing" but in reality was just the first week of the useless 90 day babysitting crap that everyone got shoved through. That place was 75 miles from home and I only packed clothes for a week. There was nothing about that testing that could not have been done in a few hours. What they did was a bunch of multiple choice CBT tests. To be honest I am not quite sure what qualifies as neuropsychiatric testing, but I don't think it's that.
    For an even sicker bit of dark humor....the practice where my psychiatrist is does that same kind of neuropsychiatric testing AND has a doc that does evals for IPN. But they (IPN) don't tell you that. I would not have known that had I not casually asked my own doc. They are not affiliated with any treatment center or anything, either. They also are 6 miles from my house and take my insurance.
    Hindsight has 20/20 vision, I guess....
    Last edit by catsmeow1972 on Feb 23

close