As many of you already know, my ex has readily replaced me with another woman and had a baby with her. Unfortunately, I waited too long to reach out to him after we broke up, so he is no longer an option. It's frustrating hearing him talk with their new baby as he is clearly a good father. Regardless, these are the unfortunate circumstances.
Therefore, I was looking at possibly joining Match.com or some other website as an option to see if someone else might be of interest.
What I am wondering is if there are any professional issues with joining any of these websites? For example, would employers view me as less than desirable for having a profile? Could this hinder my chances of landing another job?
Anyone have experience with these websites or have been impacted professionally, as a nurse, due to using one?
Silver Bells, As nurses, because of our jobs, we learn to be fixers, we see a problem and we try to fix it. So we meet a guy, who has issues, and we think "I can fix that". But we can't. People can't fix other people. So the nurse spends years trying to fix the partner before she realizes that won't happen. So she gets a divorce, and looks for another fixer upper. We need to realize that we deserve more.
Interesting to think about. I never thought that my ex needed to be "fixed," per say, but I did always think that, with the right encouragement, he might be more motivated to learn new things or accept one of the several promotions he was being offered. I'm now realizing that those things likely wouldn't have happened and I probably would have continuously been frustrated with his lack of interest in learning and lack of motivation to better himself. In hindsight, I probably could have accepted those things about him, but he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore if I wanted to go back to school. He felt that would get in the way of starting a family, and so the relationship ended. It's funny that he's ended up with someone who actually has a master's degree, though. So he obviously doesn't mind being with someone being more educated than him, but maybe it helped that she was already done with school.
Let me give you a warning. Men love nurses. They see us as substitute moms. Some guys have trouble succeeding in life, and they look at a nurse and think, oh, she's smart, and educated, and she has a steady job, we'll get married then she can support me. So beware of helpless types that can't seem to support themselves. I'm not saying don't date, I'm saying have standards.
I haven't dated a fellow nurse in over three years because of the Metoo movement. I am very attracted to many but I will not take the risk. I also will not date a nurse with republican tendencies, no matter how nice she is. I have a tendency to extrapolate and beliefs tend to dictate character!
Outside of places I work it's different. I have dated several, but never where I work.
It would be nice to meet one of those nurses you described. I could use some taking care of. It's usually the other way around with me and being so busy outside of nursing, it becomes a chore.
I am really interested in finding out dating how is going to work post covid, because personally, I am really paranoid even with both vaccines.
I haven't dated a fellow nurse in over three years because of the Metoo movement. I am very attracted to many but I will not take the risk. I also will not date a nurse with republican tendencies, no matter how nice she is. I have a tendency to extrapolate and beliefs tend to dictate character!
Outside of places I work it's different. I have dated several, but never where I work.
It would be nice to meet one of those nurses you described. I could use some taking care of. It's usually the other way around with me and being so busy outside of nursing, it becomes a chore.
I am really interested in finding out dating how is going to work post covid, because personally, I am really paranoid even with both vaccines.
Do you date at all? If so, what about the me too movement deters you from dating nurses, but not women in other lines of work?
Do you date at all? If so, what about the me too movement deters you from dating nurses, but not women in other lines of work?
I date all the time. Not much since the pandemic, just hook ups with old girlfriends.. Surely you understand about being accused or something going wrong and the woman scorned advice?
With that said, holding too many high standards could be problematic in that it could mean waiting a long time to find a good match or not finding one at all. If I do hope to date and get married, I'm sure there will have to be some give and take. After all, I can't just pick anyone and expect him to choose me as well. The interest must be mutual and sometimes that takes time.
As someone who married the "Well this guy is good enough," guy and got divorced less than a year later, keep the standards. You will be 100% happier alone than in a relationship that is lacking. Within 5 minutes of leaving I was happier than I had been in 4 years. A partner should enhance your life. If they are not doing that, then there isn't a need for it. This is something I learned in time, the hard way.
I know in previous posts you've mentioned wanting children. I am of the belief that if I still want children 3-4 years from now and am still single, I will pursue the sperm donor or adoption route on my own. A partner that you "settle" for will also become the parent that you "settle" for. I had just begun to think about having children with my ex-husband, and am so grateful that I didn't, as having him in my life still would have been a lifelong struggle of co-parenting with a difficult person, which wouldn't have been fair to me or children.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
12 hours ago, Curious1997 said:
I date all the time. Not much since the pandemic, just hook ups with old girlfriends.. Surely you understand about being accused or something going wrong and the woman scorned advice?
Are you saying that nurses are more likely to accuse you of sexual impropriety than women in other careers?
What hasn't happened to me before? I'm unclear what you're asking.
You didn't answer my question, though - are you saying that nurses are more likely to make accusations than women in other careers?
Since my only other career is basically entrepreneuring, I wouldn't have a clue what other professions experience.
It's a bit like using a GPS. You see the traffic so you avoid it. Me too addressed toxic male behaviors and heightened women's reactions (correctly IMO) and since I don't know what the future holds and I want to retain my license, it would seem logical to avoid the potential for trouble, especially when it isn't the only place to shop.
I would think that any woman in any profession who has been mistreated should speak up! I do know of an incident involving a Dr who was accused with a negative outcome for the Dr. He always seemed like a nice person to me but I didn't witness the incident, so I will keep my opinions to myself, but it was an eye opener.
You also need to stop with the 'Gotcha' tactics, it has become cliché.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
I was just curious about your statement that you haven't dated "a fellow nurse" in over three years because of #MeToo. I inferred that to mean that you have dated OTHER women, just not nurses. Hence my inquiry.
I was just curious about your statement that you haven't dated "a fellow nurse" in over three years because of #MeToo. I inferred that to mean that you have dated OTHER women, just not nurses. Hence my inquiry.
I do date other women including nurses but never from anywhere that I work.
I know it may seem like an overreaction but all it takes is one time!
SilverBells, BSN
1,108 Posts
Interesting to think about. I never thought that my ex needed to be "fixed," per say, but I did always think that, with the right encouragement, he might be more motivated to learn new things or accept one of the several promotions he was being offered. I'm now realizing that those things likely wouldn't have happened and I probably would have continuously been frustrated with his lack of interest in learning and lack of motivation to better himself. In hindsight, I probably could have accepted those things about him, but he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore if I wanted to go back to school. He felt that would get in the way of starting a family, and so the relationship ended. It's funny that he's ended up with someone who actually has a master's degree, though. So he obviously doesn't mind being with someone being more educated than him, but maybe it helped that she was already done with school.