Nurses Eat Their Young

Nursing Students Student Assist

Updated:   Published

How often have you witnessed or experienced peer to peer bullying as a nurse?

Specializes in Critical care.
In 46* years, never

Never in 34 years of nursing.

I can't tell if this is sarcasm .... I assume it is, unless proven otherwise.

Sort of like - I've never seen playground bullying ..... ever!

Cheers

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I'm not sure I understand - you feel that problems with communication are because nurses who were trained before you were not trained with the kind of skills you were?

I don't want to put words in your mouth - are you saying that newer nurses are able to successfully avoid inappropriate forms of communication because of their training? And they are better able to do this than previously trained nurses?

Thanks.

Hey, no I'm saying we are learning different things than what previous generations of nurses might have been taught and this may result in this disconnect we see. I've had professors say that what we're learning is new in this conflict resolution stuff.

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I see.

Well, remember that each new paradigm will have its benefits and faults. Neither the person who says, "it's better now" or "it was better then" can ever be 100% correct.

Earning respect and treating people with respect are (and have been and will continue to be) choices for each person in each generation.

I would be impressed if you would at least consider this: By saying that there are conflicts because people in the past haven't been trained the same as you feel you have, you are saying the same exact thing as people who say that conflicts exist because you haven't been trained the way people in the past have. ;) If that's a premise we really want to go with...

Which I don't think it is. :)

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I'm not saying that. But I think that the way many new nurses come out of school today is a totally different ideology of conflict resolution. One that focuses on trends of generations and their customs and ideologies to appeal to the conflict from others point of view. We learned a lot about how boomers tend to think vs gen x vs millennials.

But what I will say is that I don't believe this generation buys into the idea of respect that previous generations do. That in particular might be a major issue that causes the idea that the older nurses are bullies. Previous generations put a lot of emphasis on respecting those before you and those in authoritative positions or senior positions.

I don't and won't respect someone who does not earn it. If you come to work miserable, I don't care that you have 30 years of experience on me, you should behave appropriately in the workplace. Will I respond appropriately with professional conduct? Yes. Will I care what you have to say? Probably not. This of course goes for conflicts that don't endanger patients or anything. Obviously I'm open to feedback of keeping my patient safe, but if your advice on other things is clouded by rudeness and misery, then that's too bad.

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.
By saying that there are conflicts because people in the past haven't been trained the same as you feel you have, you are saying the same exact thing as people who say that conflicts exist because you haven't been trained the way people in the past have.

JKL...there may be a seat for you with the ancient philosophers..."Avoid doing what you would blame others for doing." - Thales of Miletus (624-546 BC)

The term "conflict resolution" makes my eyes glaze over...

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I see where you're coming from and actually I think previous generations have also come to the conclusion that at least some harm has been done as a result of some previous beliefs about respecting people/positions.

I guess I'm middle-of-the-road; I think it would be good to not cut off our nose to spite our face, so-to-speak, going forward.

Anyway, might as well continue a decent conversation, so here's what I mean by that^

I'm not saying that. But I think that the way many new nurses come out of school today is a totally different ideology of conflict resolution. One that focuses on trends of generations and their customs and ideologies to appeal to the conflict from others point of view. We learned a lot about how boomers tend to think vs gen x vs millennials.

Every generation is aware of how things are changing coming into their generation compared to generations before them, and is aware of what strides they believe they're making or are determined to make. That's the nature of humanity and human social evolution. It's not unlike parenting trends - - every generation has their idea of the unacceptable values/practices with which they were raised and they are determined to do better, and they do adopt new practices which they feel are better/more correct/more this and less that. The next generation then comes along and names all the things that were unacceptable and porifices them out and starts making plans about what they are going to do differently. My point is that the day will come when someone tells you the very same message you're telling right now - - even though you currently place great value in what you are being taught and believe (at least to some extent) that these ways are right or better. And - - I kindly advise caution because that day will come along much quicker than you think. Your info will likely be passe in the next 5-10 years and someone will come along eventually to inform you that nurses are bullied because of problems with your generation. I'm serious; I'm even chuckling at the sheer crazy likelihood of it as I type! It'll happen!

But what I will say is that I don't believe this generation buys into the idea of respect that previous generations do. That in particular might be a major issue that causes the idea that the older nurses are bullies. Previous generations put a lot of emphasis on respecting those before you and those in authoritative positions or senior positions.

I don't view respect the same way my parents' generation did, either. No one does. I was raised to be respectful come what may, and I suffered real legit harm from it, as a child. So hell yes my kids are being raised differently. Massively differently than I was - - - but they are most certainly not being taught to disrespect anyone. Just because some people eventually prove that they do not deserve genuine respect doesn't mean that square one can't be "give the benefit of the doubt" (in most situations where safety is not being threatened).

It's true that respect is earned as well as given, but that doesn't dictate that lack of regard/respect be the position of comfort until someone does whatever a particular individual deems would be necessary to "earn" their respect.

I don't and won't respect someone who does not earn it. If you come to work miserable, I don't care that you have 30 years of experience on me, you should behave appropriately in the workplace. Will I respond appropriately with professional conduct? Yes. Will I care what you have to say? Probably not. This of course goes for conflicts that don't endanger patients or anything. Obviously I'm open to feedback of keeping my patient safe, but if your advice on other things is clouded by rudeness and misery, then that's too bad.

I will challenge you a bit on your first sentence. Why wouldn't you take a more neutral stance? Being determined to not respect someone who doesn't earn it (on what time frame?) is dangerously close to believing that it is fine to disregard people who aren't like us; those who don't immediately sense and perceive what it is that we would consider worthy of respect.

What happens when you get a little experience under your belt and are tasked with orienting a new nurse and that person has the train of thought that you express here - and expresses that they have no reason to respect you (which includes your knowledge and experience) right off the bat as things stand. You might think, "No problem, I'm a good person and I'll earn their respect in the course of helping them become a great nurse." The disconnect that you don't yet know about is that, by that time, the specific ways that respect is earned very well may change, because newer generations of nurses will have newer ideas about it.

I think in all generations we should be careful that wanting others to earn respect doesn't become confused with generally disregarding people as a basic premise. It's actually a pretty fine line.

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More than I'd like, unfortunately.

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But what I will say is that I don't believe this generation buys into the idea of respect that previous generations do. That in particular might be a major issue that causes the idea that the older nurses are bullies. Previous generations put a lot of emphasis on respecting those before you and those in authoritative positions or senior positions.

I don't and won't respect someone who does not earn it. If you come to work miserable, I don't care that you have 30 years of experience on me, you should behave appropriately in the workplace. Will I respond appropriately with professional conduct? Yes. Will I care what you have to say? Probably not. This of course goes for conflicts that don't endanger patients or anything. Obviously I'm open to feedback of keeping my patient safe, but if your advice on other things is clouded by rudeness and misery, then that's too bad.

Let's not assume that all or even most new nurses are of the same generation. Many new nurses are second or even third career professionals who may not share the same opinions, values, and philosophy of other new nurses. "New nurses" is not a monolithic category. It's definitely not a simple matter of young vs old.

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Specializes in Dialysis.

I don't and won't respect someone who does not earn it.

Just remember, you are going to be on the opposite side of this relationship at one time or another. We all bring something to the table to be respected for, regardless of where we are seated at that table

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Not sure why just basic respect would not be automatic because we have all taken the same course work and passed the same exam.

There are some very, very extreme personality disorders in nursing, paranoid, bullies, narcissists, 8th grade mentality, so I found, and had to get out.

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Not sure why just basic respect would not be automatic because we have all taken the same course work and passed the same exam.

There are some very, very extreme personality disorders in nursing, paranoid, bullies, narcissists, 8th grade mentality, so I found, and had to get out.

Yes but isn't that found everywhere?

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Yes but isn't that found everywhere?

Not in any other field I have been involved with. Not even close. My experience only.

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