Nurses desensitized to death?

ixchel · May 19, 2014

Being desensitized to death is not inhumane.

Nurse_ · May 19, 2014

Desensitized to death? Definitely not. I believe its the acceptance that the cycle of life ends. We have learned to accept that sometimes death is the more compassionate route than keeping a person alive for the sake of others.

Humane? Of course! Just because I don't show my emotions does not mean I have no compassion about my patient. I know that I have to let the family grieve and give the deceased the dignity s/he deserved by being professional. In the end, I have to remain composed and do my job because my other patients, who I can still make a difference, needs a nurse that can think objectively in spite of the pain I feel.

I KNOW I'm not desensitized. I learned that life can be short, learned that love should not be shown when it's too late, and recognize when to let go. I also know as a nurse that there are lives under my care I need to tend to, it's part of my prioritization.

So I may look detached, may not share a tear, but when no one can see, I'll say a prayer and think about the death of a person under my care... I'll do so in my free time, as I lie in bed and when no one else is depending on me to do my job.

Emergent, RN · May 19, 2014

The problem is the rest of the population that is unnaturally shielded from death. Our society compartmentalizes life events that used to be attended to by family members. It's only in recent history that we've hired people to care for aging family members, and consigned death to the hospital setting, often with heroic last ditch attempts to extend life beyond its natural end.

THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN · May 19, 2014

AMEN sister! Death is often the best chance a person has at peace.

RNperdiem, RN · May 19, 2014

I have accepted the truth that the human mortality rate remains unchanged at 100%. While I may not feel the emotions of loss, since the patient is a stranger to me, I am fully aware that the person in the bed means the world to somebody else.

As a nurse, part of my job is to make life a little more humane.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · May 19, 2014

What class is this for? What semester are you?

anonymurse · May 20, 2014

Quick reply to OP. Look at it this way. Death is the natural and inevitable end of every life. We can deny that or not. How is being in denial of reality ever good?

exp626 · May 20, 2014

It depends on the situation. I've been on the code team for many years and have witnessed many deaths. Death is part of life, and Emergent put it well, that our society is unnaturally shielded from death. It's wrong what we do to so many people the last days or moments of their lives, trying to stave off the inevitable in a person who has little chance of life anyway, and is at the mercy of family who is unprepared to let them go or just uneducated about what they're doing to them. Death is sacred and mysterious, and I care for and behave around the deceased with respect and dignity. But then I move on, and sometimes I'll go to lunch. Untimely or unexpected death can be difficult, though, and there are rare times I may have a secret lump in my throat. Several years ago, I attended a code on my unit which resulted in death. The patient came in for a fairly routine procedure, things went well, and he was to be discharged after an up eventful overnight stay. While he was doing his ADLs though, he coded. His wife was there. I never spoke with them, but I could see how attentive they were to one another and how close they were. She stood on the sidelines quietly during the code, and when he was pronounced dead and she was once again given access to him, she took his hand, crumpled to the floor with her cheek to it, and cried loudly. I tear up remembering it.

psu_213, BSN, RN · May 20, 2014

Being desensitized to death is not inhumane.

That was going to be my exact quote.

Just because a dead body does not "disturb" someone and just because a nurse shows minimal emotion when a patient dies (especially if it "expected") does not mean he/she is a bad person or "inhumane."

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · May 20, 2014

I should start by mentioning I am 33, which is not quite considered 'older' but is not that young, either.

I started becoming less reactionary to death in my mid 20s after having practiced for a year in nursing. If I cried or reacted strongly to every death, I would crack up and fall apart. My self care is humane because I only have one mind and one body. Cheers.

504 medic · May 20, 2014

Your role as a health professional is contingent on being able to compartmentalize, so you can treat, while others have the luxury of being overwhelmed. It's why so many drapes are used in surgery...it not Uncle Bob on the table, it's a liver, pure and simple. Being in absolute control of your faculties is not desensitization...it's professionalism. Be proud of it...because Uncle Bob gets to have one more Christmas as a result of it. And when all efforts are not enough, unless you choose to embrace the emotion of the moment, there is no reason to release that hard won composure. There will always be someone else right behind them that needs your unique ability to remain focused.