I've been a nurse a few years now and am convinced becoming a nurse was the biggest career mistake I ever could have made. It's a second career for me so at this stage I am resigned to working as a nurse in some capacity until I retire. But, I'm not happy (I've worked several places) and it seems as though many of my co-workers aren't either.
I recently gave in and started taking an anti-depressant (and may also need something for anxiety) and was wondering how common this is among nurses. I've been reading allnurses since nursing school so I realize many posters come here to vent, but as a group, do you think nurses are more depressed than most people? Are you depressed? Do you take meds for it? If so, do you think the reason is directly related to being a nurse?
Just looking for a little feedback to see if most are able to find satisfaction in the work or am I not that unusual.
I've always been a bit of a loner and work provided a social outlet for me. But, as a nurse, I just find that it's a very petty, gossipy profession and have learned that you can't trust anyone. I just haven't figured out how to deal with this and it's causing me some problems.
I've job hopped so much I'm not sure trying to find a new environment is even an option.
But, it does help to know that some posters feel similarly.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I have found lately that I work more than socialize because I need the money...another annoyance in my life. Of course, it is far different for LPNs, but I did expect better money, and that didn't quite happen. However, I had access to more opportunities to work in interesting places that paid quite well compared to my main job. This probably lead to more isolation, because after 6 days of working rather than 5, I got tired of hearing self inflicted drama, so, I tend to stay even more to myself.
The weekends are too short, and sometimes, I think I am wishing my life away...not in the suicidal sense, but each Monday, I am wishing for Friday, or like now, wishing flu season would be over (that will be March), and that shows me that I really have to take better control of things so that I can really start to enjoy life on another level.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
It's interesting that you guys mention that, wanting to spend a lot more time alone. I've been experiencing the same thing. For me, I haven't thought of it as a sensory overload sort of thing, but more that patients and families are so needy and demanding that when I have time off, I don't want to spend it attending to the needs of others. I feel that my time off should be spent restoring myself.
This seems awfully selfish to some people, who are not in health care and cannot relate to my feelings. I recently went on a group camping trip with some friends, something we do every year, and most of them were good about giving me space to just relax, but one in particular, who happens to be one of those "high maintenance friends", just couldn't wrap her mind around my need for some down time. She seems to have this opinion that because I am a nurse, I should be nurturing others at all times.
I've also found myself feeling antisocial more frequently, avoiding crowds, and just preferring to spend time with my close family.
Well, now, that explains a lot to me as well.
I've been baffled for years about my lack of desire to socialize. I always used to be up for a good time no matter what, and then a few years ago it all changed; now you can hardly drag me out of the house with a team of Clydesdales. I'm not depressed, but all I want to do anymore in the evenings and on the weekends is veg out at home.......I have only two days off, and I seem to need every minute of those 48 precious hours to soak up the pleasures of hearth and home, relax my body and mind, and enjoy my family so I can gather the strength to go back for another five days of intense pressure and hard mental work.
I thought I was just getting old and boring (well, I am, but that's another story), and I definitely thought I was pretty much alone in this. My husband has never been a party animal, so we're not suffering any marital problems because of this; still, it seems weird to me that I need so much peace and quiet when I used to be involved in church, social projects, civic groups and so on. The last two or three weekends, I've forced myself to go places and have fun, but the truth is I'd have been just as happy puttering around my garden or playing on the computer. I listen to my co-workers talk about their exciting adventures and have nothing to say when my turn comes to answer the question: "So what did YOU do this weekend?" And what's more, I don't even care that I have nothing to say---I'm content just being home, doing what I want to do whether it's watching football, surfing the 'Net, playing with my grandsons, working in the garden, floating in the pool, rearranging the furniture, listening to great music, reading a book, spending time with my family and pets, taking naps.........
Still........it seems that I SHOULD want to do more than hang out at home. The fact that busyness and over-scheduling has no appeal to me doesn't have anything to do with it---or does it? Perhaps someone wiser than I can explain this.........
I've always been a bit of a loner and work provided a social outlet for me. But, as a nurse, I just find that it's a very petty, gossipy profession and have learned that you can't trust anyone. I just haven't figured out how to deal with this and it's causing me some problems.
I've job hopped so much I'm not sure trying to find a new environment is even an option.
But, it does help to know that some posters feel similarly.
lol @ job hopping comment. One particularly bad yr I submitted three W-2 forms with my taxes. Some in my family think I'm nuts for changing jobs so often. They don't believe that lots of nurses have trouble finding a good fit with a bearable level of stress.
I'd love to find a job I can handle and still have adequate energy for social/family/community aspects of life. Then I'd be able to keep that job until I retire.
Guys I hope all of you will resolve you individual issues and for us new Grads we just have to think that Nursing is not just a job but a calling.
Take care you all.....
RL86
Can you elaborate on your comment further? I'm tired and I had to read it over three times and I still think you're nitpicking at nurses who are stressed out. Are you saying that we are stressed out because nursing isn't our calling? What are you trying to say? I love being a nurse but stress does come with the job and yes it can be at times very depressing.
lol @ job hopping comment. One particularly bad yr I submitted three W-2 forms with my taxes. Some in my family think I'm nuts for changing jobs so often. They don't believe that lots of nurses have trouble finding a good fit with a bearable level of stress.
I'd love to find a job I can handle and still have adequate energy for social/family/community aspects of life. Then I'd be able to keep that job until I retire.
Last year I submitted 5 W-2's!!! some for agency, part time and full time jobs!! LOL
Last year I submitted 5 W-2's!!! some for agency, part time and full time jobs!! LOL
Wow, you are a busy girl.
Of course my goal is just to stay at home with my kids - which I did with the first set of 3 who are now off to live their lives. Being surprised with this last one - who is now 7 and realizing how fast time went by with the first 3 - I just want to be here for him too.
This morning he found a photo of his sis and her k-garten teacher and a note telling his sis how much the teacher enjoyed having her in class and said "Mom, Mrs. Smith is still a teacher???". Yes, she taught your sis in 1996 and is one of the teachers today.
Diary/Dairy . .. still love your name!
As to work for the OP - please find something that makes your life more meaningful and allows you to enjoy your family and friends. My old job was very difficult - timewise - as I never said no if a nurse was needed and the hours were 0300 - 1515, which made the choice between sleep and my son's football game . .. .obviously my son's football game and not much sleep before work. I was recently there - talking to a former coworker - and I could see the same stress on her face that was there a year ago and when she asked me about my life I had to say "I feel such peace".
There is the right job for you out there somewhere. Best wishes.
Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.
I guess I have never been a social butterfly and never will be. I feel weird and akward in those situations.
I do find work/coworkers socially draining all the gossiping and back stabbing I'd prefer not to partake in it. I just want to do my job and go home to my family. On my days off I also just want to veg and not have to do much of anything or have to be caring or nuturing . I get all tapped out while at work. I try to avoid people or groups as much as possible. Home is where my heart is.
As for the OP's question I am not depressed just get depleted quickly but a few days off to recharge and spend w/ my family and I feel good to go to get through those next few days of work. I love what I do and would not change jobs for anything.
Taking care of your health physically and emotionally is important and so is having an outlet other than work. Nursing is a stressful profession you have to leave it at the door when you go home. If it's something you despise and cannot find an area that you enjoy then it's probably time to find a new job.
Some in my family think I'm nuts for changing jobs so often. They don't believe that lots of nurses have trouble finding a good fit with a bearable level of stress.
and realizing how fast time went by with the first 3 - I just want to be here for him too..thumb.jpg.6ef22235a95e8726ea425a8585c9cf44.jpg){kind=small}
hnurseh
16 Posts
Thanks for the replies.
I've always been a bit of a loner and work provided a social outlet for me. But, as a nurse, I just find that it's a very petty, gossipy profession and have learned that you can't trust anyone. I just haven't figured out how to deal with this and it's causing me some problems.
I've job hopped so much I'm not sure trying to find a new environment is even an option.
But, it does help to know that some posters feel similarly.