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Nurse to Nurse Bullying

Nurses   (20,601 Views | 87 Replies)
by NewScaredRN NewScaredRN (New) New

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You are reading page 6 of Nurse to Nurse Bullying. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

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Oh, and one more thing. Being "scared" or "terrified" is not a functional way to go through life. It will serve you especially poorly in your first year of practice. Telling yourself you're terrified / scared to death / panic-stricken is something we hear all the time here, but is a poor message to give yourself. Those words and their cousins are not your friends; banish them from your vocabulary and they will never bother you again.

 

Lose the word "scared" from your self-descriptive vocabulary (including your handle here!). I mean it. Never use it again, and if you feel it coming on, immediately replace it with the word "challenged" or "excited!" Challenges you can rise to and meet, but fear is a paralytic. This is an exciting time! Embrace it!

 

"I am so excited to finally be increasing my responsibilities and learning about the realities of being a team member! Whooeee!"

 

There now, doesn't that feel better? Doesn't your brain like that better?

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3 Posts; 412 Profile Views

Wow lots of wonderful advice, stories and experiences! Thank you all for those words. First let me correct something I should have defined better I was raised by an RN and "old battle axe" was actually my mom's term when I discussed all this with her. However it had zero to do with age, I am actually over a decade older than my preceptor (I did mention I was an older student).

As to the NPO/NG tube I have found differing opinions on the best course of action here. However the water was never the issue, I understood and I was only asking for clarification of the reasoning and I only literally got out the question once.

Humilation can come in the form of speaking down to someone in front of others. In my example I repeatedly asked her to stop berating me and to be nice. My exact words were STOP BE NICE! When she continued the berating (and by berating I mean repeating dry swallow over 30 times with me going ok, ok, ok not with me arguing with her or disagreeing) this is when I feel she crossed over into bullying.

I was previously in the military so I do feel I have a bit of thick skin, not the thickest certainly but I am not thin skinned baby that will run crying if someone speaks loudly to me or even corrects me. She went too far period.

Edited by NewScaredRN

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3 Posts; 412 Profile Views

I should probably also mention that when she hung up on me repeatedly (she was in the break room not working with a patient) my patients commented on it (they actually heard her talking down to me). The question of IF this is bullying or intimidation has never crossed my mind, I know it is, I just wasn't sure what I could do about it.

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As I read through these comments I see a mix of those who seem to support the behavior of her preceptor, directly oppose it, or advise being the "better" person and moving forward. I'm new to the nursing scene and have also experienced being treated very rudely on 3 out of 4 clinical rotations. I'm inexperienced, but far from stupid. I changed careers because I truly care about caring for others. I believe "Nurses Eating Their Young" is in the process of fading away. The "tough mother" will be replaced by one of wisdom that realizes his/her power resides in empowering others. Eating your students and new nurses is akin to eating roadkill if you think about.... If they are so "tough", why not seek out more of a challenge? Learn something new...

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Perhaps there's a teacher's online forum that would be a better fit for you? Surely your critiques would be better received by those in the same profession since you would have the education & background from which to speak?

Since you cannot see the arrogance involved in a non-nurse chastising nurses (on an online nursing forum, no less), I wonder if changing your profession to nursing is truly a good idea. Being convinced before your first day of nursing school that you already "know" how nurses should, well, be nurses, I'm not sure that you would be an appropriate candidate.

Well, it is not my responsible to correct the vision of the nearsighted. Those who took what I said personally lets me know that there is something wrong within your professional/personal life...The constitution gives me freedom of expression, speech, and association.

Edited by dianah
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Rose_Queen is a BSN, MSN, RN and specializes in OR, education.

6 Followers; 4 Articles; 9,008 Posts; 105,329 Profile Views

Furthermore, the constitution gives me freedom of expression, speech, and association.

Actually, the Constitution only guarantees that the government will not interfere with those rights. It also doesn't guarantee freedom from consequences of expressing those rights. Private entities, including AN, are free to restrict as they see fit. That's why you'll see things like Terms of Service, which includes profanity filters, not allowing medical advice to be asked for or given, no personal attacks, and everything else that is listed.

Edited by dianah
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OrganizedChaos has 10 years experience as a LVN and specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

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Well, it is not my responsible to correct the vision of the nearsighted. The constitution gives me freedom of expression, speech, and association.

The constitution - freedom of speech - doesn't protect in forums. You have to abide by their TOS.

Edited by dianah
Terms of Service

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The initial comment that I made, if you took the time to read and understand it was not a jab at "good nurses" rather, those who have bullied, harassed, made medical mistakes that cost patients their lives, and refused to help others. To tell me that you are offended at my pointing those things out and sharing my story speaks volumes to lack of compassion and empathy that I thought that I'd find when reading responses on a Nursing forum. Instead of intelligent banter, I get name called, bullied, and berated. My words get twisted around, to fit a narrative that satisfies a need in some to create excuses. WOw! I must have struck a cord because a guilty conscience screams the loudest...If you are offended, then you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror. What your doing is much like the students whom I teach...when they feel slighted b/c they know that they are wrong, or lack skill, they act out...they make things about themselves...they cherry pick a few words or phrases and make a mountain out of a molehill just to suit their own agenda. So what I've heard is "shut up! we don't care about your dead friends momma'...the millions of dollars/valued lives poor training caused...or your thoughts on the need to have better preceptors who respect their preceptee's to ensure better trained nurses...you ain't no nurse....who are you?" Seriously? You think someone need to be a nurse to know that? It's called common Darn sense...I'll tell you...at this point...the nursing industry needs someone who obviously doesn't back down even in the face of my words being misrepresented or unjust criticism...oh yes! I am ready for nursing:)

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margin261 has 15 years experience and specializes in Urology, HH, med/Surg.

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For Miel Noir:

"Expectations are at the root of all heartache"- Shakespeare.

Sorry we nurses didn't live up to your expectations of what a nursing forum would/should be like. However, most of us nurses get a lot out of it & like it just fine. You're more than welcome to take your leave....

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dianah has 45 years experience as a ADN and specializes in Cath Lab/Radiology.

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NOTE:

Several posts have been removed for being off-topic, for name-calling, for insulting other members.

These are all violations of the Terms of Service.

Please confine your posts to the subject of the thread, and REFRAIN from personal attacks, name-calling and insults.

Post only what you would say in front of a group of professionals.

Thank you.

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14 Posts; 305 Profile Views

For Miel Noir:

"Expectations are at the root of all heartache"- Shakespeare.

Sorry we nurses didn't live up to your expectations of what a nursing forum would/should be like. However, most of us nurses get a lot out of it & like it just fine. You're more than welcome to take your leave....

No, no...not "we" nurses...only those who are berating and bullying...wait...in a forum where the nurse is discussing berating and bullying...how ironic! It's too much! No body...not even the late, great Bard Shakespeare could write this one...

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TriciaJ has 39 years experience as a RN and specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

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LOL...I know how I​ feel about the spate of non-nurses posting here, telling us how to be nurses or telling us what we don't know about A&P/pharmacology/etc.

It rubs me the wrong way, too. Then I'm just glad I'm not a cop.

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