As a student nurse you spend nearly the entire time in school telling yourself to make it through this last hurdle, dig deep and delve down because once you graduate the pain lessens. You fumble through the most stressful two years of your life between feeling like a walking idiot, to feeling like you can take on the world and solve the world's largest medical mysteries. The last semester comes and you pat yourself on the back for making it to the end. You tell yourself that the next year will be hard with dealing with learning the skill sets of a nurse, understanding time management, and learning prioritization. What you don't understand at that time, is that one of the hardest contentions you will have to deal with is an unspoken problem in the world's most ethical profession; nurse to nurse bullying.
No one wants to admit it is happening on their unit, no one wants to admit it is happening to them, and no one wants to admit there is not really an answer to this problem, that makes it solvable. Even as an author that wants to buck against the system and yell NO I will DEFEND these nurses!†I don't. Even when it is happening to me. Why? I am scared of rocking the boat, most of the behavior is actually encouraged by the leadership of my unit, and they believe it gives new nurses thicker skinâ€. How do I know they feel this way? They told me so.
When I have tried to speak up before I was told, don't take it personal, have thicker skin, and that my nurse preceptor just says it like it is. I like to think of myself as a pretty tough person. I usually do have pretty thick skin, yet as a new nurse it does make me doubt myself very deeply. What, you may be asking as a reader, am I defining nurse to nurse bullying as? The easy answer is belittling, and talking badly about the new nurse with other nurses. However, I do understand examples are needed to get a true understanding.
A little background: I was told prior to be assigned this preceptor that she is tough, cuts it straight but will also be able to build me into a great nurse. She was all those things and a lot more. She would disappear many times leaving me on my own to figure many things out. If I was ever brave enough to ask something I got eye rolls and a put-out answer (yet one of the most repeatable pieces of advice a new nurse gets is to ask questions and not to be afraid to ask for help!), if I needed her to help me with procedures this is where she would get outright mean! An important aspect to remember throughout this is that she had NO patients or 1-2 MAX just so she could help train me. I am not a complainer, I am an older student so I have world experience behind me as well. I am not meek usually and for the most part I have a mouth that I will certainly use to advocate for my patient but here I was not the one that was trained but instead the one being trained.
Example 1: A patient needed an NG tube. This patient had been eating and drinking all day. The doctor had just changed the patient's status to NPO about an hour earlier. The patient was having an NG tube done to see if the edema the patient was experiencing was due to air, or something else. I was very excited to get another check off done and was up to 4 patients on my med-surg floor. I grabbed all my supplies (I had previously notified her of the procedure, got heaving breathing over my ASCOM and told FINE be right thereâ€) and put them outside the room. Went back to find her and get my glass of water with a straw for the insertion. Here I did stop and tell myself the patient is NPO…but he just went NPO, has other fluids already in the stomach, and insertion without drinking the water could lead to the tube inserting into the lungs therefore it is wiser to use a bit of water. While I was filling up the cup with water here came the preceptor. Instantly she launched into me about why I was getting water. When I tried to explain the only thing I was able to get out was how else am I going to insert the tube†and suddenly I was being berated in the middle of the hallway. Dry swallow had to have been repeated 6-10 times, I kept trying to explain my thought process but was talked over (almost to a yell) and spoken down to. I felt like an idiot and like I had nearly killed my patient or something. I proceeded to mess up the entire day and go home bawling. It is important to note that I did speak up for myself here, I did at one point say that's enough! Be nice! Be nice!†but it never phased her or make her stop.
Example two: I admit I am not the best IV starter. I am not the worst but not the best either. I refuse to stick a patient however blindly. If I am going to stick them then I will either feel a vein or see one (DO NO HARM!). Why in the world would I state this, since it seems like common sense? Because it is important to this example. My patient had previously told me that the IV s/he had was placed by the rapid nurse due to how hard a stick s/he is. When that one lone IV was infiltrated I tried to find a vein. I couldn't even find one on the hand!! At this point I am up to 5 patients and have been on the unit about a 1 ½ months. I am still in training but nearing the end. I cringe as I pick up my ASCOM to notify my preceptor I need help. I know what is coming. I get told I better figure it out and hung up on when I try to ask for help to start the IV. I try really hard not to cry in front of my patient, and be a wuss. So I start at the wrist and work my way up to the armpit with no luck. I had tried before but I knew if I didn't at least try to stick one time I would hear about it. I didn't try though, my patient's comfort and safety came before my own feelings of not wanting to be belittled and yelled at. So I picked up that dreaded ASCOM again and this time I said if you can find a vein I'll be happy to stick it but I can't find even ONE!†This time my preceptor came after I got a fineâ€. When she couldn't find one either and tried over 6 times before saying the patient either needed a PICC or the rapid nurse, it was very hard for me to not look at her with a smug expression. Very hard!
In the middle of this awful experience I did ask my fellow trainees how they were doing. Their preceptors actually went with them to do everything (even med passes). They never were afraid to ask questions or for help and several times they had heard the way my preceptor talked to me and informed me they would be curled into a ball crying. They complimented my strength and claimed I looked so confident and independent on the floor. That was total fake it tell you make it†at work. When I tried to talk with my management they encouraged my preceptors behavior and then the very week that I decide ok it's time to speak up, they put those same trainees with her to toughen them upâ€. I am not joking, those exact words were used. My preceptor was being encouraged to toughen us upâ€. Other trainees have overheard the preceptors throughout the training process talk about us from how slow we are, to how stupid we are.
I have no recourse I can take. There is no avenue I can go to and report without making matters worse. I cannot quit because I am in a town that is monopolized by a very large hospital, and as a new graduate my options are so limited. I cannot go to my upper management for the same reason I cannot go to my immediate supervisor. The bullying or toughening as they call it, has been encouraged and this will only make it worse. So the only thing left to do is to vent, grind down and make the best of it but also make sure to NEVER be that nurse. To point out when I can safely do so what is going on, and when I finally get to claim to be a seasoned nurse or preceptor, make sure I intercede on that new graduates behalf. I can post my story on the internet so that new graduates read it and know they are not alone if this is happening to them. I can point it out to hopefully shame the preceptors that are doing this, even if it is privately. They became a nurse for a reason and hopefully that ability to care for their fellow human beings will reach out to their fellow nurses as well.
My advice from a new graduate to an old battle ax nurse. Remember that we too have a story, that you once were a new graduate and that tough love†really isn't the only way to get your point across. By no means does this imply that new graduates should be coddled or handled with kid gloves. No they should just be treated and spoken to in the same manner you would want to be spoken to and treated as. Most of all remember battle axes one day you may wake up with that nurse you treated like crap standing above you. Pray that she does not hold a grudge!
Perhaps there's a teacher's online forum that would be a better fit for you? Surely your critiques would be better received by those in the same profession since you would have the education & background from which to speak?
Since you cannot see the arrogance involved in a non-nurse chastising nurses (on an online nursing forum, no less), I wonder if changing your profession to nursing is truly a good idea. Being convinced before your first day of nursing school that you already "know" how nurses should, well, be nurses, I'm not sure that you would be an appropriate candidate.
Well, it is not my responsible to correct the vision of the nearsighted. Those who took what I said personally lets me know that there is something wrong within your professional/personal life...The constitution gives me freedom of expression, speech, and association.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Furthermore, the constitution gives me freedom of expression, speech, and association.
Actually, the Constitution only guarantees that the government will not interfere with those rights. It also doesn't guarantee freedom from consequences of expressing those rights. Private entities, including AN, are free to restrict as they see fit. That's why you'll see things like Terms of Service, which includes profanity filters, not allowing medical advice to be asked for or given, no personal attacks, and everything else that is listed.
The initial comment that I made, if you took the time to read and understand it was not a jab at "good nurses" rather, those who have bullied, harassed, made medical mistakes that cost patients their lives, and refused to help others. To tell me that you are offended at my pointing those things out and sharing my story speaks volumes to lack of compassion and empathy that I thought that I'd find when reading responses on a Nursing forum. Instead of intelligent banter, I get name called, bullied, and berated. My words get twisted around, to fit a narrative that satisfies a need in some to create excuses. WOw! I must have struck a cord because a guilty conscience screams the loudest...If you are offended, then you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror. What your doing is much like the students whom I teach...when they feel slighted b/c they know that they are wrong, or lack skill, they act out...they make things about themselves...they cherry pick a few words or phrases and make a mountain out of a molehill just to suit their own agenda. So what I've heard is "shut up! we don't care about your dead friends momma'...the millions of dollars/valued lives poor training caused...or your thoughts on the need to have better preceptors who respect their preceptee's to ensure better trained nurses...you ain't no nurse....who are you?" Seriously? You think someone need to be a nurse to know that? It's called common Darn sense...I'll tell you...at this point...the nursing industry needs someone who obviously doesn't back down even in the face of my words being misrepresented or unjust criticism...oh yes! I am ready for nursing:)
"Expectations are at the root of all heartache"- Shakespeare.
Sorry we nurses didn't live up to your expectations of what a nursing forum would/should be like. However, most of us nurses get a lot out of it & like it just fine. You're more than welcome to take your leave....
"Expectations are at the root of all heartache"- Shakespeare.
Sorry we nurses didn't live up to your expectations of what a nursing forum would/should be like. However, most of us nurses get a lot out of it & like it just fine. You're more than welcome to take your leave....
No, no...not "we" nurses...only those who are berating and bullying...wait...in a forum where the nurse is discussing berating and bullying...how ironic! It's too much! No body...not even the late, great Bard Shakespeare could write this one...
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
LOL...I know how I​ feel about the spate of non-nurses posting here, telling us how to be nurses or telling us what we don't know about A&P/pharmacology/etc.
It rubs me the wrong way, too. Then I'm just glad I'm not a cop.
Miel, here's the thing. I'm going to make an effort to explain what others have, just one more time. Nursing and healthcare in general is one of those things that you need full and complete context to understand. You're assigning arbitrary labels of "good" and "bad" nurses based on your frame of reference and your ideals; your definitions of those words. There is much more to a good nurse than simply being an effective preceptor and there is much more to safe nursing care than a warm, fuzzy, and likable personality. At this time, despite your personal experiences, you're still viewing the aquarium from the outside, yet forming an opinion about fish behavior based on limited, external understanding.
Additionally, I would really caution you on the sweeping generalizations of poor education and training. People come to this forum to vent as they do all over the internet. Negative experiences are described here because those experiences tend to generate a much stronger emotional response than uneventful or even positive experiences. There are many, many nurses who graduate every day, orient to a unit, and succeed without experiencing poor training, uncomfortable precepting, or the like. The nursing education system, and healthcare education in general has its flaws, but right now it's how we make new caregivers. It is what we have, and I find it radically hard to believe that the vast majority of nurses and nursing students don't wake up every day trying to do the right thing, even if there are flaws in delivery on both sides of the issue.
Finally, nurses and doctors are human. Errors happen. Sentinel events happen. We are fallible. Sometimes we zig when we should have zagged and are forced to learn an incredibly awful lesson when patient harm occurs. Again, most caregivers wake up every day and do the best they can. Some caregivers have taken their own lives over medication errors that resulted in patient harm. Until you have held responsibility for a life, you cannot grasp the full concept of that burden. As medical professionals, we conduct root cause analysis, try to move forward, change policies and practices to prevent systemic, multi-faceted errors. No matter how hard we strive, however, we will never reach perfection.
You seem passionate about improving care. That's good. However, as F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope." Please consider doing so; try observing without making judgments about what you see. It will serve you well as you grow in nursing knowledge. And since we are passing on favorite expressions, here is one of mine. In any situation, please consider this: there are two sides to every story, and then there's the truth.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Awww....what's wrong? I thought we were having fun.
Please read the mod's message & take it to heart.
But if you are a professional (a teacher) that doesn't mean you post like a middle schooler. There are plenty of educators on here & I don't see them posting messages like tween girls.
I wish the best for the OP. You will get through this! I'm sorry this thread was hijacked when you posted in hopes of support and feedback. Your fellow nurses will always tell straight up. I've gotten really good advice from fellow nurses. I may not have always liked what I was told, but it helped. Good luck to you!
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Miel, here's the thing. I'm going to make an effort to explain what others have, just one more time. Nursing and healthcare in general is one of those things that you need full and complete context to understand. You're assigning arbitrary labels of "good" and "bad" nurses based on your frame of reference and your ideals; your definitions of those words. There is much more to a good nurse than simply being an effective preceptor, and there is much more to safe nursing care than a warm, fuzzy, and likable personality. At this time, despite your personal experiences, you're still viewing the aquarium from the outside, yet forming an opinion about fish behavior based on limited, external understanding.
Additionally, I would really caution you on the sweeping generalizations of poor education and training. People come to this forum to vent, as they do all over the internet. Negative experiences are described here, because those experiences tend to generate a much stronger emotional response than uneventful or even positive experiences. There are many, many nurses who graduate every day, orient to a unit, and succeed without experiencing poor training, uncomfortable precepting, or the like. The nursing education system, and healthcare education in general has its flaws, but right now, it's how we make new caregivers. It is what we have, and I find it radically hard to believe that the vast majority of nurses and nursing students don't wake up every day trying to do the right thing, even if there are flaws in delivery on both sides of the issue.
Finally, nurses and doctors are human. Errors happen. Sentinel events happen. We are fallible. Sometimes we zig when we should have zagged and are forced to learn an incredibly awful lesson when patient harm occurs. Again, most caregivers wake up every day and do the best they can. Some caregivers have taken their own lives over medication errors that resulted in patient harm. Until you have held responsibility for a life, you cannot grasp the full concept of that burden. As medical professionals, we conduct root cause analysis, try to move forward, change policies and practices to prevent systemic, multi-faceted errors. No matter how hard we strive, however, we will never reach perfection.
You seem passionate about improving care. That's good. However, as F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope." Please consider doing so; try observing without making judgments about what you see. It will serve you well as you grow in nursing knowledge. And since we are passing on favorite expressions, here is one of mine. In any situation, please consider this: there are two sides to every story, and then there's the truth.
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Miel Noir
14 Posts
Well, it is not my responsible to correct the vision of the nearsighted. Those who took what I said personally lets me know that there is something wrong within your professional/personal life...The constitution gives me freedom of expression, speech, and association.