Why are nurse managers jerks?

Specialties Management

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Is nursing a field much like law enforcement, that attracts people who are rude, harsh and likely have personality disorders? Just wondering because, I'm not joking... the majority of my nurse managers and supervisors were long time nurses who seemed to be on some power-wielding trip. Like they had something to prove and that they were a nurse, an experienced nurse and because of that alone were somehow better than people who didn't fall into that category. As if being a 'charge nurse' or a 'nurse manager' made them great, even if they were insufferable to be around, even if they couldn't care less about patients or subordinates.

I have seen it go on many, many times. Nurse managers who ask of their staff what they wouldn't be willing to do a small fraction of. Charge nurses who gossip and make up stories about other nurses, simply because they don't fit into their 'clique'. Or mock patients if they know them in real life --- like had one who taunted a former classmate saying she had letters behind her name while he didn't.

Is the nursing 'profession' filled with jerks? Or arrogant fools? I have a few good, down to earth and likeable coworkers that I can count. But the ones in and kissing up to management always seem like arrogant jerks.

Why is this?

I always complain about people who don't understand what a nurse does, who wonder why I might be stressed out since all I have to do is "give patients some pills and go home". So I don't want to be that person who criticizes a manager or supervisor without truly knowing what all goes into that position.

:) Right on! I love being an RN. Being a manager and having to report to corporate is the last thing I ever want to do.

I'm so tired, I read this as "Why do nurses have muscle jerks?"

So, while I might have a negative air about me, even after self reflecting, I really don't categorize myself as a jerk.

I guarantee you that all the people you started this thread to complain about also do not consider themselves jerks. Just saying ...

Specializes in Med Surg, ICU, Infection, Home Health, and LTC.
Is nursing a field much like law enforcement, that attracts people who are rude, harsh and likely have personality disorders?

Is the nursing 'profession' filled with jerks? Or arrogant fools? I have a few good, down to earth and likeable coworkers that I can count. But the ones in and kissing up to management always seem like arrogant jerks.

Why is this?

Cola89, I do understand the frustration that you are having. I used to feel that way all the time. I would suggest to you what was told to me. Make things better by working your way through the system and becoming the type of manager you would want to have.

I guarantee it will change your perspective 110%. I went into management with all the hopes and dreams of making things better for my nurses and my patients. It took a few years of beating my brains against the wall until I learned middle management is a candle burning at both ends and you cannot ever accomplish what you dreamed could be done "if only" you could change things.

To higher administration you are not team-minded enough...they want you to push an agenda that you know will only hurt the staff and patients and your insides won't allow it.

Staff, on the other hand, think you are one of "the higher ups" and" forgot what it was like to be a real nurse at the bedside...if you ever were." I can only say 2 things.

1. I will never ever go into a management position again after the chaos and inner he*l it caused me and 2. The only way it will ever change is if strong and caring people go into those positions and can create effective change.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Developmental Disorders.

If you are angry about nurse managers hiding from the bedside, hiring just MBAs will not solve this issue. In fact, not requiring a nursing license for a nurse manager position (!) would make things worse. Think about it like this... Without actual medical knowledge, your MBA manager's job description would just be cutting expenses (i.e.: getting rid of nurses and aides) and focusing on customer service.

Ive worked for a lot of NM jerks, but I got experience and worked hard to learn all I could so that I could finally get hired at a better-managed facility.

Specializes in Vascular Access.

I went into management with all the hopes and dreams of making things better for my nurses and my patients. It took a few years of beating my brains against the wall until I learned middle management is a candle burning at both ends and you cannot ever accomplish what you dreamed could be done "if only" you could change things.

Thanks for posting this, I couldn't have said it better. The fact is: hospital administration can be so rigid that the nurse manager really has no freedom for innovative thinking or action. Sad, really.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
SmilingBlu, I'm not ___ enough to work in middle management. Their harsh judgment of others and rude behavior is what I'm judging. Also, collecting a check while letting everyone around you down. No, not all of them of course, but enough of em that I'm starting to notice a pattern. I can take the 'check yourself' comments as constructive criticism / well-meaning advice. I've gone through a lot lately and I don't know how to keep positive and keep smiling. I am really starting to believe people are just mean and uncaring. I am not. I am nice and kind hearted. Quiet. I don't like hurting others. So, while I might have a negative air about me, even after self reflecting, I really don't categorize myself as a jerk.

Again, if you have negative interactions with most of the people you meet, they are not jerks. YOU are. You are also judging. Many of us have "gone through a lot lately," you don't have a monopoly on that. Perhaps those folks you're judging have been through more than you. I suspect you don't know the answer to that.

You're judging others for being mean and uncaring and insisting that you are nice and kind hearted, but admit that you might "have a negative air about me." You're not a jerk; everyone around you is a jerk.

The common denominator here is YOU. Perhaps some counseling may assist you in self-evaluation and self-reflection.

Again, if you have negative interactions with most of the people you meet, they are not jerks. YOU are. You are also judging. Many of us have "gone through a lot lately," you don't have a monopoly on that. Perhaps those folks you're judging have been through more than you. I suspect you don't know the answer to that.

You're judging others for being mean and uncaring and insisting that you are nice and kind hearted, but admit that you might "have a negative air about me." You're not a jerk; everyone around you is a jerk.

The common denominator here is YOU. Perhaps some counseling may assist you in self-evaluation and self-reflection.

FYI- I don't have negative interactions with the majority of people I meet, but I do have difficulty staying upbeat at times - I often don't trust new people I meet - I often assume people won't / can't understand me, so I don't open up around coworkers (although I do talk and try to keep conversation light). You have a good point about the counseling; I am looking into that.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
FYI- I don't have negative interactions with the majority of people I meet, but I do have difficulty staying upbeat at times - I often don't trust new people I meet - I often assume people won't / can't understand me, so I don't open up around coworkers (although I do talk and try to keep conversation light). You have a good point about the counseling; I am looking into that.

Good for you -- counseling has helped a lot of people!

I guess I am just beating a dead horse here but it sounds like it may be a dual issue that you may need to take some responsibility for. Many hospitals offer free counseling services called EAP...the counselors can help with a variety of subjects including dealing with difficult people like unruly nurse managers. I have coached many staff who are having a difficult time dealing with strong personalities...but I am by no means qualified to dive any deeper than that so I refer them to EAP. I have been a nurse manager for about 7 years now and I do find myself getting burnt out at times. It is a difficult position and often thankless so please keep that in mind. Thankfully I have a staff that will throw a compliment or encouragement my way when they see me getting frustrated. I try to maintain neutral in most cases but we are all human and cannot always block our emotion. I believe my job is to remove barriers for my staff and patients. If I maintain that principle I will often make the right decisions. I believe you will be happier if you choose to work on how you react rather than trying to "fix" someone who is difficult to work with. Good luck.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I guess I am just beating a dead horse here but it sounds like it may be a dual issue that you may need to take some responsibility for. Many hospitals offer free counseling services called EAP...the counselors can help with a variety of subjects including dealing with difficult people like unruly nurse managers. I have coached many staff who are having a difficult time dealing with strong personalities...but I am by no means qualified to dive any deeper than that so I refer them to EAP. I have been a nurse manager for about 7 years now and I do find myself getting burnt out at times. It is a difficult position and often thankless so please keep that in mind. Thankfully I have a staff that will throw a compliment or encouragement my way when they see me getting frustrated. I try to maintain neutral in most cases but we are all human and cannot always block our emotion. I believe my job is to remove barriers for my staff and patients. If I maintain that principle I will often make the right decisions. I believe you will be happier if you choose to work on how you react rather than trying to "fix" someone who is difficult to work with. Good luck.

Well said! This one sentence sums up the whole thread.

I've had a few nurse managers who were jerks. I've had more who were caring, competent, productive professionals. Not necessarily the ideal, but more than "good enough." There are jerks in any field; I haven't observed over the decades that nursing has more than its fair share.

I had a conversation with a former Nursing Administrator who apparently was pushed out of a hospital I worked at in Western Colorado. She diversified to being an educator and then working in promoting Nursing. I commented that some hospitals get a reputation for being toxic sloughs or sewers with revolving doors for RNs and other staff.

My experience was with a Surgical Director applicant/MNA who we interviewed as middle managers and consensually agreed was the worst choice based on her resume. In her 35 years, she had never stayed anywhere longer than 3 years-the bulk between 3 months-1.3 years. With a major inspection coming the COO hired the only applicant-her. She lasted 18 months but not after seeing the resignation and firing of many employees. What I remembered most were her double standards, profanity, biased evaluations, taking credit for her staffs ideas/work and favoritism for pets who kissed her behind. In that short time the traveler rate doubled, lost several young RNs and several other ancillary and allied health professionals. She fired a close friend of mine in another Allied health profession for being unsafe. Interesting that that Allied Health worker was following an established and current protocol that this Director actually approved and signed?! That director was later fired and escorted out by security carrying her trademark bed implement.

The Nursing Educator shared that though this hospital makes 1 step forward, it often takes 10 steps back? When you hire unqualified candidates in spite of their questionable history you have to drink the byproduct of that decision. That spells terrible working conditions to an already toxic climate that hasn't been fixed in over 20 years and may never be. Is this a reason Nursing ranks are in big trouble???

T.

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