Why so closed minded? WHY?

[alwaysthere]

Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S. One pt. starts going OMG a male nurse! Why do the let guys do this? Dosent he realize we're female!...etc...etc..etc.

This is absolutely one of the most closed minded attitudes I have the misfortune of dealing with...and it happens time and again. Well it ended up that everytime he had to go into the room i had to go with him. And to his credit he endured the stuff she said to his face !...me on the other hand ..I had to duck outside for a few minutes and unclench my teeth... Why is it acceptable for a woman to see a male doctor, a male pt to been seen by a female doc or to be cared for by a female Nurse/Aide.? and yet not acceptable for a female to receive care from a licensed PROFESSIONAL who happens to be male? GRRR

P.S. today i was a pt. had seen the NP about the prob before and was made to feel as if she really didnt have enough time to be bothering with me. (not saying that all are like this,Ive heard NP's are wonderful) anyways saw the MD today he TALKED with me and examined me more than she had and actually got some history on me etc. generally treated me like a human. had to get ex-ray etc. the female tech made me feel like i was going through a proccesor...at that point i had already had a bad enough day and didnt need it getting worse. well the guy actually doing the films talked with me held my hand was so gentle and generally it felt like he cared. i felt sorta human again after that ....well we will see what P.T. brings. Tis truly better to give than to receive!

:chuckle

Kudos to all you wonderful and caring Nurses AIdes and Techs,no matter how your chromesomes are arranged!:kiss

[mark_LD_RN]

thanks again everyone,

thanks for the compliment smiling blue eyes:)

i really do love my job, thank goodness things are changing, i work with a great bunch of nurses now they are awesome to me. sometimes they tell my patients i am coming but tell them you will love him just like the rest of his patients.

well thanks again everyone for all the support and kindness shown here and at work!

[hollybear]

i got to work with our new (MALE ) nurse midwife tonight. he was awsome, he was so nice. i could not believe how he treated his patients and their family members. laughing and joking with them makeing them feel included. i watched him rub her back and feet, always talked to her in such a deep calm sweet voice. took his time and worked with her till we ended in a wonderful birth. after the birth you could see they tears of joy in his eyes, he stayed and cleaned the patient up offered to help us with baby and to clean up. the family and patient all thanked and hugged him, must have used a whole roll of film taking pictures of him with baby and family members. he also treated the nurses very well thanked us all for our help.

it was such a pleasure i can not wait to work with him again!

[Rustyhammer]

Mark,

Can you babysit for me tonight?

-Russell

[mark_LD_RN]

would be glad to rusty but think its kind far away :)

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Howdy Yall

from deep in the heat of texas

Well this thread has brought much thinking to the light. So I will sit back and think

[researchrabbit]

Men and women are different (is this a surprise?). Women and men are similar (is THIS a surprise?). A person who is a caregiver has much more in common with another caregiver than they often do with members of their own sex who are NOT caregivers.

You can find individual differences among groups, but you can't take an individual and then apply that individual to the whole group. One bad guy doesn't mean all guys are bad. One patient who prefers a female RN doesn't mean all patients prefer females. And an FYI: at one of the universities I worked for, over half our residents (docs in training) were female...the whole "men are docs, women are nurses" thing is dying and I'm betting you won't see much of that in another 20 years (except maybe on TV where stereotypes die hard).

There's a reason we're all different. I like to think the reason is so that we won't get bored (bring on the diversity, yeah!).

And Las Vegas, I am TRULY sorry you had that experience. I will never understand why people can't see past the outside bits which are the LEAST important part of anyone!

[LasVegasRN]

Originally posted by researchrabbit

And Las Vegas, I am TRULY sorry you had that experience. I will never understand why people can't see past the outside bits which are the LEAST important part of anyone!

Thanks, researchrabbit. It wasn't the first time, and it certainly won't be the last. Regardless, I don't let it change my belief that we all bleed red - and love is colorblind.

[fab4fan]

Originally posted by caroladybelle

I do not have a preference of gender in regards to my nurses, but I do have a preference of females as far as the MDs/NPs that provide care for me. While I currently have a male Internist, he has done a great deal to earn my trust.

I was a virgin (and not merely technically) until I was 25. I never had a male MD that didn't express surprise (Are you sure you know what sex is?), condescention (You are too pretty for that.), or make rude comments in regards to this. They were also rather rude and less than gentle w/pap smears (It doesn't hurt that much). Female health care providers have always!!!! been kinder.

Same here. The first time I saw my GYN was when I was 19y...I was terrified. He was very kind a patient, and did a lot to earn my trust.

After several years, a female OB/GYN moved into the area, and so many of my coworkers raved about how great she was, so the next time I needed an exam, I went to her instead of my usual doctor. It was the most painful exam I'd ever had; worse was that she kept snapping at me to "relax". After that, I decided that there was no reason to change doctors...so it was back to the original doctor for me, and he's been my doctor for 20y (with the exception of that one year).

However, I don't think any explaination is needed if someone prefers to have a nurse of the same gender. We're not here to advance a personal agenda...obviously Mark, you are doing what you love and it sounds like you are successful. No one is interfering with your employment. So what does it matter if a nurse says she'd feel more comfortable with a nurse of the same gender during L & D or a gyn exam. We need to stop looking at fellow nurses who happen to be patients as nurses first...they are patients first, with the same fears and needs as our non-nurse patients. We need to stop burdening them with expectations we wouldn't impose on our non-nurse patients.

[Dayray, RN]

Knock, knock any one home?

Doesn't this whole I prefer a female to a male even sound a little sexist to you? I mean do you guys really think it has nothing to do with discrimination? Or do you realize that it is in fact discrimination and keep trying to come up with reasons to justify it? If that is the case then acknowledgment of that fact would at least be progress.

Please say it with me:

"I discriminate against male nurses"

There now that was your first step to recovery.

[LasVegasRN]

Sorry, dayray, but John Q Public does not see it as the same. I realize YOU and Mark may feel that it is gender discrimination, but I see it more as a, (1) generational issue - older patients, (2) old stereotypes, and (3) some ignorance.

Sure, I can see WHY you would perceive this as discrimination. But the difference here, using the patient who didn't want me in his home, is that he did that out of HATE. These patient's do not hate you. 92 year old Miss Stella was never raised to have a man see her or "handle" her in that way. Are we going to force her to comply over it? No, that would not be prudent.

[mark_LD_RN]

fab4fan, i think you misunderstood my post, i was refering to nurses i work with not of them as patients. and yes it does and has affected my employment several hospitals would not hire me because of my gender and was told that by the nurse manager who thought males could not work OB. So you see she was trying to force her personal agenda! and trying to impose her views and feelings as those of all women. If i had a female nurse as a patient and she wanted a female nurse to care for her that would not be a problem. I just have a problem with fellow nurses discriminating against others for any reasons. especially when it affects ones lively hood and career opportunities. You would have to experience it to see its full effect. I never have a problem with a patient wanting another nurse instead of me.

i hope this clarifies what i have been saying.

[mark_LD_RN]

LasVegas Rn I see it very differently it most definitely is discrimination, being done out of hate is not a prerequisite to be discrimination. look up the definition for your self. But in the instances i am talking about it was definitely done with a hateful attitude. for example this is what a nurse manager told me at one hospital i worked at" I will not allow a damn male to work here not now not ever!" now does that not sound hateful to You?

if it does not it is still discrimination. I am not talking in refrence to a patients choice ,that is their choice. But just of discrimination in employment by fellow nurses. I agree that some older patients may prefer females as this is the way their generation has been brought up. I have not personally experienced this, i have had many elderly patients and have never had one complain or refuse my care. as a matter of fact have several who told me i am their favorite nurse.

i hope this helps explain what i am trying to convey.

being denied employment based on gender is as much discrimination as being denied employment based on race or any other difference.