Why are nurses such back-stabbers? - page 13

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some... Read More

  1. by   GardenDove
    Or perhaps 'Sneers To Music'?

    'Smiles That Mystify'?

    'Syndrome That Meanders'?

  2. by   Lizzy6
    Quote from GardenDove
    Or perhaps 'Sneers To Music'?

    'Smiles That Mystify'?

    'Syndrome That Meanders'?

    cracking me up here... , maybe Shipped to Maine, okay, I am tired. Will stop, lol!
  3. by   nuangel1
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    I'm sorry (not really) but i will not (nor will i ever) buy or accept this tee total crap of "women are women and that's what women do" 'because nurses are mostly women, and women gossip/backstab, and that's that, that's just how it is, that's just how things are, deal with it". Spare ME.

    By some people insisting on the perpetuation and the acceptance of these unnecessary, negative, and pathetic stereotypes ("women are back stabbers, that's that," "women are gossips, deal with it"), not only are those same people slandering a gender based on a few people's actions, and excusing urine-poor behavior in a dismissive, submissive way, they are saying to others that it is perfectly fine to do so! I don't THINK so! I'm certainly not accepting it, not am i tolerating it.:angryfire

    If i were to say "men are holes" (y'all know the actual phrase i'm talking about, it's wrong, but most people have heard of it) and believe it, as often as some people on here are saying "women are catty," "women are backstabbers," etc., i'd imagine that would go over like a fart in church. Why should saying (and believing "women are gossips", etc.) or such be any different. It shouldn't be, because it isn't.

    As Ghandi once said "Be the change you want to see."
    :yeahthat: yeah that i couldn't agree more.i don't except it either .and i don't believe women and nurses are all bacstabbbbers .yes there are bad ones in the bunch but its not acceptable to label all nurses as such
  4. by   chadash
    STM, in reference to difficult patients: smack that man
  5. by   Lizzy6
    Quote from chadash
    STM, in reference to difficult patients: smack that man
  6. by   sadie_van
    I have to agree with the women in general, "being a woman" I would rather work with a factory full of men, than 1 woman.
  7. by   ruby1933
    It's called "Character assasination". By turning the negative attention toward someone else, they feel superior and believe they will look better to the higher-ups! Unfortunately, some nurse-managers can't see past the game. I guess "the squeaky wheel gets the oil" applies here!
  8. by   meme_911
    i noticed that too,i hope we chang that by doing some action.
  9. by   Jade005
    Quote from ruby vee
    i learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.

    i find it truly saddening and disappointing that nursing, predominately a female profession harbors such negative stereotypes against women. it truly amazes me how few of our members seem to actually like nurses, or to like women. it is small wonder that many nurses are having negative experiences with their co-workers. it seems that few nrses really like their co-workers, their profession or their gender. how sad that someone would have a negative experience with a co-worker (which that person may or may not have contributed to with an "off the cuff remark") and then generalize against an entire gender and most of a profession!
    i would just like to add this thought: i have found in my experience that the jobs i have had exceptional supervisors at have not had these kind of problems. i believe fully that a supervisor sets the tone in the workplace; if you have a catty, back-stabbing,gossipy supervisor then these kind of problems are rampant. when i have had a supervisor who was fair and did not tolerate this behavior it was less obvious and kept out of her/his view. no matter where you work this kind of thing happens, you either avoid it or join in. you can usually tell which people to avoid in the first couple weeks after starting a job,because those "public service info people" seek you out to let you in on the horrible info "just so you'll know" about so and so. those are the ones i avoid.
  10. by   nurse_clown
    Quote from nurse-lou
    why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? this recently happened to me and i thought i had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that i made. why does this happen? is it because the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals. i'm a woman btw. from now on though, i am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. other than that, i'll keep my nose in a book. actually, i won't be working at this current place much longer. there are staffing issues that put my license in jeoprady so i am starting a job hunt after the holidays.

    so, why do we do this to eachother?
    [font="comic sans ms"]i learned the same lesson too unfortunately. and boy did it feel like a stab in the back - it sure did hurt. i really looked up to a senior nurse at my hospital job. not only because i felt she was very experienced. not just clinically, but spiritually too. when we worked together, she always had a good experience to share with me. i even did most of her a.m. picc line blood draws and jump to answer her call bells. i didn't do it just because i really liked her, i felt it was a fair trade-off. i know i really learned from her. when she spoke, i really listened and soaked in the info. i have a learning disability so concentration and time management is a real challenge for me. but there wasn't anything i wouldn't do for her because i learned so much from her. and i appreciated what i thought was genuine patience for me. i made a really nice scarf and gave it to her. i felt so good about making something that she liked because i knew she was a good knitter. but one day i overheard her talking negatively about me to the charge nurse. about a year ago, i also overheard her talking about me, but i dismissed it because i didn't actually believe she was talking about me. but this last time, i was very sure. i couldn't mistake it. she was specific about the "night shift" -which was my shift. and i remember the incident clearly. a patient died. she had dnr status. i made attempts to contact the family who lived in another city 120 km away. i documented all that in the clinical notes. but i didn't check the admission data base and i guess the previous shift wrote that the daughter was actually staying in the city. usually we communicate that someone is "in poor condition" in verbal report and, we leave a sticky note where family is staying in the event of rapid deterioration. that night, this patient was not the only death (i had three and that's not unusual in palliative care.) i admit the death was unexpected for me. in report, i heard she had a good day. anyway, she was very confused, painful and fearful. but i assessed it as that and took care of it appropriately. she didn't suffer, she wasn't alone and she was pain-free. so, i chalked it up as an unexpected but good death. but, i don't like the "unexpected ones." i also overheard the charge nurse say that i panicked and didn't know what to do. i don't think that's true because i didn't panick. at the beginning of that shift, i had the crap beaten out of me by a little old lady. i didn't panic then either. i took charge of that situation and everyone was safe and secure. i took most of the beating. i don't panic when i'm at work. why? what's the sense? then who has control? nothing's accomplished when people panic. but when i overheard them talking about me like they did, i felt like i was just punched in the stomach.

    so, from then on, i decided to do just do my work and try hard to make sure my shift is handled properly. i have add and dyslexia which isn't my excuse, i recognize it as my challenge. i could be working harder and making sure my shift is unflawed instead of wasting time on people who really don't care about what they say. some people have the experience to be tired and have extra time to knit and talk. i realized that some people just have verbal diarrhea. not everyone is nice. i don't understand it. but i can't waste my time wondering why they are mean like that. the fact is, i'm not like her and i'm glad i'm not like her. but yes, when people stab each other in the back like that it really hurts.
  11. by   Imissthefall
    What is the best advice you can give to people who are either in or considering nursing school?
  12. by   fuzzie
    Any advice for those only just beginning nursing school next fall to help us keep above the fray? I just want to do my job and school well and keep a low profile...or will that work against me? I'm not a game player!!
  13. by   chris castillo
    I have no idea what you are talking about when you say I have no ideal what your are talking about, ideal is there perfect conception of an idea or thing, it is not the actual idea. College education is a hard thing to point out without immeadiately coming under more intense scrutiny. I have no ideal is grammatically incorrect.