I really dislike my co-worker

Nurses Relations

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I began working as a nurse faculty member at a small school approximately 9 months ago. Another nurse began at the same time and the two of us are to work as partners for the students in the beginning levels of the program. Things seemed to be going well at first, but my co-worker began to show signs of poor organization, lack of upholding standards of the school, and just an overall lack of insight and poor judgement. For example, the skills labs that she puts together are incredibly unorganized (students spend much of the time sitting on tables talking), she leaves clinical sites early because she "feels like it", and pretty much does what she wants as long as it benefits her in some way.

In addition, certain aspects of her personality began to show. She manipulates situations to make herself look like a model employee and she is impossible to communicate with. If she is asked a question or given a suggestion she responds as if she is being attacked.

Most recently she approached the director of the program and stated that me and the other faculty members in the office were bullying her. I am so completely appalled and disgusted at this behavior. This latest action has me at my wit's end.

I really don't want to quit but I don't see how I can work with this woman. She is quite possibly the most terrible human I have ever encountered.

I realize that this is very one-sided and it may be hard to look at the situation objectively. However, I have tried endlessly to make some headway with her. I took her out to lunch so we could talk. I have apologized for things I didn't even do to as to not rock the boat. Smearing my name with accusations of bullying, however, I will not tolerate.

Anyone been in a similar situation or have any suggestions? My boss is no help. She is completely caught up in this co-worker's lies and manipulation and has basically enabled this behavior.

Thank you.

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Based on what you wrote, since your boss is of no help, time to look for a new job.

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If this colleague "is quite possibly the most terrible human you have ever encountered" your biased attitude may be coming across as bullying.

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If the boss agrees you (and everyone else) is bullying her, you have no other choice but to move on.

What do your fellow faculty members say about it?

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If this colleague "is quite possibly the most terrible human you have ever encountered" your biased attitude may be coming across as bullying.

You are absolutely right. This is something that I have considered. Which is exactly why I have tried to make overtures to her to improve our relationship. And I don't know about you, but it is extremely hard for me to be phony and act like we are "friends" when I know that she has accused me of bullying.

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If the boss agrees you (and everyone else) is bullying her, you have no other choice but to move on.

What do your fellow faculty members say about it?

I really don't know what my immediate boss thinks of her accusations. Per usual, my boss has chosen to not address the obvious issues that are right in front of her. My other co-workers are just as angry and fed up as I am.

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As I see it you have 3 basic options dust off your resume, ignore her and do your portion (not good if you have to do your portion) or document things- leaving early from clinicals ect and go as a group to your boss/their boss.

When I was in school I remember one of my instructors getting reprimanded for releasing students from clinicals early repeatedly. I'm not sure of the details/specifics but apparently in order for our school to maintain accreditation they are required to have a certain number of clinical hours. The dean of nursing was not happy when a student told her that they got out early almost every class.

Problem is is if the boss likes her and all of the complaints are only coming from you it starts to look like you have the problem not her.

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In my experience, many health care professionals know what to teach, but not how to teach. Could this be the case with your colleague? It may explain why she is disorganized with her teaching plans and also why she abandons her full duties and dismisses the classes early.

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I really don't know what my immediate boss thinks of her accusations. Per usual, my boss has chosen to not address the obvious issues that are right in front of her. My other co-workers are just as angry and fed up as I am.

Please clarify. What is the difference between your immediate boss .. and the boss that "has chosen to not address the obvious issues ."

Your colleagues are "are just as angry and fed up". The point I was trying to make is..there is strength in numbers. Presenting a united front, along with documentation regarding her "overall lack of insight and poor judgement.".. might be effective.

Best of luck.. let us know how it's going.

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Please clarify. What is the difference between your immediate boss .. and the boss that "has chosen to not address the obvious issues ."

Your colleagues are "are just as angry and fed up". The point I was trying to make is..there is strength in numbers. Presenting a united front, along with documentation regarding her "overall lack of insight and poor judgement.".. might be effective.

Best of luck.. let us know how it's going.

Sorry for any confusion. Our immediate boss is the one who chooses to ignore all of the obvious signs (i.e. coming in late nearly every day, disorganized labs, etc.). However, the person she complained to about bullying is our boss's boss.

The other faculty members and I have considered presenting a united front. We are hesitant to do this because of the obvious way she has manipulated our boss into believing everything she is being told. Our fear is that the bullying accusations will hold more weight if we approach it this way.

Thanks for your response.

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

As you say, we're only hearing your side of the story, but at the same time, it's pretty convincing. :^) Most of us have at least one co-worker whom we'd really rather not work with, or whom we keep the amount of 'contact time' to a minimum whenever possible.

Your saying that she accused you and someone else of 'bullying' her reminds me of a CNA who worked with me for at least a year who told some other CNA's (I only found out about this later when she wasn't working with me) that I had 'picked on her'. That was an insane statement, because I rarely even asked her to do anything. Her mindset seemed to be that she knew what she was supposed to be doing, and if I asked her to do anything else - as if this kind of work isn't constantly changing, new priorities pop up, etc. - she would get mad.

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Specializes in PCU, ICU.

Yuck! What a horrible predicament you are kinda in. Can you ignore her? Do you really like your job and wanna fight for it? Is she worth the energy to do all the things you want? Report her as a united front? Of she doesn't have much sway on your lofe.or your work then I say ignore her and go about your business. Things will catch up to her one way or another. Of it really bothers you and this isn't your favorite job, thenaybe go somewhere else, but they could have a potential HER on their payroll too. Just take a breather and see how you feel in like a week. I don't blame you for being angry for the bullying part. I'd be mad as heck too!! Ask yourself, why did she say that? I'm not accusing you of bullying at all, but when people accusearch me of things, I try to see there point of view. No matter how ridiculous it is. Keep your head up and keep in, keeping on!!! Keep us updated!

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