I began working as a nurse faculty member at a small school approximately 9 months ago. Another nurse began at the same time and the two of us are to work as partners for the students in the beginning levels of the program. Things seemed to be going well at first, but my co-worker began to show signs of poor organization, lack of upholding standards of the school, and just an overall lack of insight and poor judgement. For example, the skills labs that she puts together are incredibly unorganized (students spend much of the time sitting on tables talking), she leaves clinical sites early because she "feels like it", and pretty much does what she wants as long as it benefits her in some way.
In addition, certain aspects of her personality began to show. She manipulates situations to make herself look like a model employee and she is impossible to communicate with. If she is asked a question or given a suggestion she responds as if she is being attacked.
Most recently she approached the director of the program and stated that me and the other faculty members in the office were bullying her. I am so completely appalled and disgusted at this behavior. This latest action has me at my wit's end.
I really don't want to quit but I don't see how I can work with this woman. She is quite possibly the most terrible human I have ever encountered.
I realize that this is very one-sided and it may be hard to look at the situation objectively. However, I have tried endlessly to make some headway with her. I took her out to lunch so we could talk. I have apologized for things I didn't even do to as to not rock the boat. Smearing my name with accusations of bullying, however, I will not tolerate.
Anyone been in a similar situation or have any suggestions? My boss is no help. She is completely caught up in this co-worker's lies and manipulation and has basically enabled this behavior.
The other faculty members and I have considered presenting a united front. We are hesitant to do this because of the obvious way she has manipulated our boss into believing everything she is being told. Our fear is that the bullying accusations will hold more weight if we approach it this way.
If she is a novice educator in need of mentoring or under personal stress and in need of support, than a group complaint about her behavior will be seen as evidence of bullying. The nursing education model has been teaching students to believe in the workplace bullying theory to such an extent, that any mention by experienced nurses to beginner nurses about inept behaviors or areas of weakness is seen as bullying. The downside of the bullying theories is that they encourage victim mentality and recommend complaining to management, which results in increased acrimony in the workplace. It would be better if bullying theories recommended colleagues utilize assertive communication skills and conflict management strategies.
If she is a novice educator in need of mentoring or under personal stress and in need of support, than a group complaint about her behavior will be seen as evidence of bullying. The nursing education model has been teaching students to believe in the workplace bullying theory to such an extent, that any mention by experienced nurses to beginner nurses about inept behaviors or areas of weakness is seen as bullying. The downside of the bullying theories is that they encourage victim mentality and recommend complaining to management, which results in increased acrimony in the workplace. It would be better if bullying theories recommended colleagues utilize assertive communication skills and conflict management strategies.
Actually, she has more experience than I do in the field of education. She may actually have more experience with teaching than anyone else in the office, but I'm not 100% sure.
It is funny that you mention using communication techniques, because that is what started this whole thing. This colleague has a history of not coming in on time. We are a clock hour program and we hold our students accountable for punctuation, however, this instructor feels that she can come and go as she pleases (regardless of our union contract). So, one day I asked her about her arrival time (one hour late) and she completely blew up at me. This was coupled with a conversation she was having in the office with another instructor about hours a few days later. She (the bad colleague) did not like that she was being told that our union contract states what type of hours we are required to keep. She perceived both of these interactions as being bullied.
If she interprets a difference of opinion or constructive criticism as bullying, then I can't win.
I began working as a nurse faculty member at a small school approximately 9 months ago. Another nurse began at the same time and the two of us are to work as partners for the students in the beginning levels of the program. Things seemed to be going well at first, but my co-worker began to show signs of poor organization, lack of upholding standards of the school, and just an overall lack of insight and poor judgement. For example, the skills labs that she puts together are incredibly unorganized (students spend much of the time sitting on tables talking), she leaves clinical sites early because she "feels like it", and pretty much does what she wants as long as it benefits her in some way.
In addition, certain aspects of her personality began to show. She manipulates situations to make herself look like a model employee and she is impossible to communicate with. If she is asked a question or given a suggestion she responds as if she is being attacked.
Most recently she approached the director of the program and stated that me and the other faculty members in the office were bullying her. I am so completely appalled and disgusted at this behavior. This latest action has me at my wit's end.
I really don't want to quit but I don't see how I can work with this woman. She is quite possibly the most terrible human I have ever encountered.
I realize that this is very one-sided and it may be hard to look at the situation objectively. However, I have tried endlessly to make some headway with her. I took her out to lunch so we could talk. I have apologized for things I didn't even do to as to not rock the boat. Smearing my name with accusations of bullying, however, I will not tolerate.
Anyone been in a similar situation or have any suggestions? My boss is no help. She is completely caught up in this co-worker's lies and manipulation and has basically enabled this behavior.
Thank you.
OP: Regarding your colleague: Rule out substance abuse, interpersonal relationship issues, past, present and future divorces (once from man, second from woman and maybe a man, again), contemplation of sexual reassignment surgery along with ongoing gender confusion, unfounded paranoia secondary to a preemptive defamatory first strike, with co-opted supervisor, against you and all others, borderline personality, dereliction of pedagogic responsibilities, over extended credit cards and labile mood swings precipitating financial, moral and ethical bankruptcy. Only then may she may begin to approach some of the lunatics I have worked with over the years. Or, you could consider returning to bedside nursing where normalcy reigns supreme.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
it is extremely hard for me to be phony and act like we are "friends" when I know that she has accused me of bullying.
Unfortunately, this is called 'playing the game' of workplace politics. We need to be pleasant and agreeable around difficult coworkers who may have talked badly about us and/or falsely accused us of 'victimizing' them.
Unfortunately, this is called 'playing the game' of workplace politics. We need to be pleasant and agreeable around difficult coworkers who may have talked badly about us and/or falsely accused us of 'victimizing' them.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I really don't know what my immediate boss thinks of her accusations. Per usual, my boss has chosen to not address the obvious issues that are right in front of her. My other co-workers are just as angry and fed up as I am.
Crap like this is always a function of poor management. Your problem isn't with your coworker; she should have been shown the door long time ago. The problem is with your manager who condones poor behaviour. Apparently your other coworkers recognize this as well.
Any way you could enlist their support for some creative problem-solving? This will negatively impact the reputation of the entire school. Can you jump the chain of command and clue in the higher-ups?
Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..
I began working as a nurse faculty member at a small school approximately 9 months ago. Another nurse began at the same time and the two of us are to work as partners for the students in the beginning levels of the program. Things seemed to be going well at first, but my co-worker began to show signs of poor organization, lack of upholding standards of the school, and just an overall lack of insight and poor judgement. For example, the skills labs that she puts together are incredibly unorganized (students spend much of the time sitting on tables talking), she leaves clinical sites early because she "feels like it", and pretty much does what she wants as long as it benefits her in some way.
In addition, certain aspects of her personality began to show. She manipulates situations to make herself look like a model employee and she is impossible to communicate with. If she is asked a question or given a suggestion she responds as if she is being attacked.
Most recently she approached the director of the program and stated that me and the other faculty members in the office were bullying her. I am so completely appalled and disgusted at this behavior. This latest action has me at my wit's end.
I really don't want to quit but I don't see how I can work with this woman. She is quite possibly the most terrible human I have ever encountered.
I realize that this is very one-sided and it may be hard to look at the situation objectively. However, I have tried endlessly to make some headway with her. I took her out to lunch so we could talk. I have apologized for things I didn't even do to as to not rock the boat. Smearing my name with accusations of bullying, however, I will not tolerate.
Anyone been in a similar situation or have any suggestions? My boss is no help. She is completely caught up in this co-worker's lies and manipulation and has basically enabled this behavior.
Thank you.
I've been in similar situations.
It's impossible to fly like an eagle when you're chained to a bunch of turkeys. I get it, I really do.
BUT.............(yes, there is a "but" to this, because I've matured and I handle these situations much differntly now)
There is a right and wrong way to deal with it. You called her "the most terrible human I have ever encountered. " I somehow doubt that. You're just caught up in the moment in my opinion.
You also mentioned her having a bad attitude towards your questions and suggestions. Sorry, but you are caught up in much emotion with her (and the situation) and I can't help but wonder of these questions and suggestions weren't passive aggressive.
Nothing is more annoying that endless unsolicited advice. Especially when it comes in the form of a wolf in sheep's clothing.
And yes, to her, you are attacking her and bullying her. Mind you, this is just her viewpoint. She has all her ducks lined up in a row, things are working well by her standards and she is not interested in changing anything.
You want her to raise the bar, the standards, to your level.
No matter how helpful or correct your advice is, it's unsolicited. You don't like where she is, you want her to move and she does not want to. End of story.
Part of being a good leader is knowing where teaching is appreciated and not. Since the boss seems alright with things, she is in her own rights to refuse your advice.
I used to deal with it...........well, differently.......with a lot of unsolicited advice and other things when said advice was waived off.
It's just a case of "Unstoppable force meets immovable object."
These days, I learned to let them be. They eventually hang themselves. Along the way, I protect myself. I make sure I can not have the finger pointed at me for her deficiencies. I allow for their way of doing things so long as it's not unethical or unsafe.
In short, I come to an agreement with them that I'll let them be to do as they please, and they must do the same with me. But don't expect any support from me when "your way" doesn't work for you anymore.
Just let her hang herself, and be mindful of not being tangled up in the song and dance she plays until then.
Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.
Are you full time here? Do you really like the program? Is this the only nursing school in the area? I might leave before your reputation gets dragged down with this woman's, especially if she doesn't uphold the academic standards of the school.
Sounds like I would have liked you as an instructor in my nursing program, and that you taught at my nursing program.
Unfortunately, this is called 'playing the game' of workplace politics. We need to be pleasant and agreeable around difficult coworkers who may have talked badly about us and/or falsely accused us of 'victimizing' them.
That's right be agreeable to being abused until you get cancer and your body is covered with stress ulcers and you're mumbling sweet nothings in the dark to yourself.
In a situation like this something's got to give and yes unfortunately in my experience mischief and dysfuctionality preside until it falls apart under it's own weight and someone with some sense takes over to lead the way into the light of righteousness and sanity.
These issues have a way of working themselves out. While it's unpleasant to deal with... If you love your job... keep it and wait for things to work themselves out. But then again, I'm a very easy going guy who can put up with a lot of BS.
I have to admit ... in such situations I generally try to make their deficiencies public -- to be sure that the supervisor see them -- and the troublesome colleagues know that the boss sees it. Even if I had to be a little sneaky about it, that's what I would probably do. For example, I would mention to her (in front of the boss) that I had heard she excused her students from clinical early. I would say something like, "Gee, I didn't know that was allowed. Is there a policy or procedure on that? I would like to be sure I am following the guidelines if I ever need to do that."
Or I would plan a way to have her "caught" coming in late. Things like that. If she is that bad, she'll eventually hang herself. The boss will realize that she is trouble and that welcome any complaints against her that you and your "good" colleagues wish to document so that she can get rid of her.
Keep your own nose really clean -- while you weed her out by exposing her weaknesses.
Conqueror+, BSN, RN
1,457 Posts
Reminds me of that one slacker in a group project that would do next to nothing and share in the nice shiny A that the rest of us earned. Ugh.