Nurse with ADD :(

[WheresMyPen]

This is a touchy subject but I need to talk so if you are reading thanks for reading this.

i was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a little kid. I was put on stimulants and they worked well my grades improved but my parents took me off cuz of s/e (lost too much weight, couldn't sleep etc)

After being off Meds grades dropped and I was put back into special Ed classes, was always getting in trouble for stupid stuff all the time, notes sent home to my parents, parent teacher meetings etc. Grew depressed by 4th grade.

Was off medications until I was in my teens, got put into an entirely different school for kids with learning disabilities and behavioral problems. I was more and more depressed, had anxiety, was bright when it came to science and English but terrible with social/behavioral skills and math. Always was good at basic math in my everyday life but in school just terrible.

Went back to a psychiatrist when I was 16 and got diagnosed again with ADD. Was put on straterra but I don't think it did much so I eventually stopped taking it.

Went years without meds again. Entered college and did pre-reqs for nursing. I did really well with all my other prereqs but failed remedial math 3 times and somehow still made it into nursing program. I always had trouble in school on tests. Careless mistakes, etc,

I did well in nursing school but had to stop working just to get through and forced myself to study long and hard and it was such a challenge I became greatly depressed but made it through.

Now I have been a nurse for a year and a half and I love it so much but was always making careless mistakes...NOT with patients safety or medications, mostly with charting, being disorganized with simple tasks, not being able to establish a routine because I was all over the place and would jump from one thing to the next before finishing.! I became extremely scared that I would eventually make a serious mistake and put a pt safety at risk! I had been lucky that I hadn't already! My home life had also always been overwhelming and disorganized too, I seem to lack something.

I became very frustrated and depressed again and went to back to another psychiatrist. I was diagnosed again with ADD and put on stimulants. This is the first time I agreed to take them as an adult and I hate to say it but after some trial and error trying a few doses, different ones, I found one that works! But I hate having to take a controlled drug just to feel normal! Just to function at a "normal" level like other people! I feel stupid, not good enough, that I have to take a drug like this just to achieve what someone else can achieve without this! I have to take it every time I am working now or else my symptoms come back and it really stinks. Now I wonder will I need this forever? My doctor said most likely. I can take breaks from it and I don't take it all the time when I am off unless I have to get things done, but when I don't take it I am back to my normal ways and very fatigued, out of it, messy, anxious, etc.

I was always a little bit in denial about my ADHD but I was dx 3 times at 3 different phases of my life by 3 different docs, and now the meds are working. Im still in denial deep down I guess because I just want to be normal. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Kittypower123, BSN, RN]

I just want to put this out there - "Normal" is a setting on your washing machine. Everyone is unique. As others have said, there is no stigma with taking medication for diabetes, allergies, hypertension, sleeping disorders or whatever. There shouldn't be with ADD either. Figure out what works, learn to work the way you need to. Just because someone else organizes themselves a certain way doesn't mean you have to. I get teased a bit at work because of how I do things, but I also get compliments for the results. I laugh with my coworkers (it really is all in fun, we get along great) and keep on doing what works for me.

[Nurseniki77]

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I guess I am feeling like I have come to a big realization about myself that I do have this condition and its a lot to handle. I always thought I had the wrong diagnosis, because I always thought adhd was over diagnosed, or that it's too "easy" for docs to dx it, and wanna throw me on meds. But I'm realizing now that I might actually have this. I'll Adjust to it, just gonna take time. I just needed to vent. Thank you all

You had 3 doctors diagnose you with ADD or ADHD, Be happy they didn't misdiagnose you as bipolar, which happens to a lot of people. Take your medications as prescribed. I would treat myself to a "medication vacation" on occasional weekends, which my doctor was fine with. I'm happy you have found a medication that helps. I also find that making lists work, at home and at work. Scratch off what you have done each day so you feel that you have accomplished something, and start a new page. White board calendars help with dry erase markers to schedule household chores/daily work tasks and deadlines. And post-it notes, LOTS OF POST IT NOTES! ADHD is recognized as a disability by the ADA, you can check out jan.org ( The Job Accommodation Network) there is a printable .pdf file for employers on how to provide accommodations for persons with ADHD, mental health disorders, etc. I wouldn't go hand it in to your boss, just check out the ideas that they have for accommodating people like us.

Best of luck to you. And like many have said, no matter how good you are, there will most likely come a day that an error is made. That's why there is a whole department dedicated to managing risk. People make errors. We are human, we learn from the errors of those that have come before us, and will continue to learn. The best thing you can do to reduce the risk is stay on your medication. Hope I have helped.

[BeachsideRN, ASN]

Let's look at it from this perspective: I'm allergic to pretty much everything outside (including a nasty bout with poison ivy that sent me to urgent care), yet I like the outdoors. I take a daily antihistamine and I can go function in the world. No one blinks when I tell them what meds I'm on.

You need a little help functioning in the world and ADHD meds are no different. You still have to work, get paid, and do all these other things; don't feel bad about treating a medical condition.

Btw you probably know this by now but just in case... People with severe allergies to poison ivy also cross react with mango! (I found out the hard way)

[WheresMyPen]

Can my employer not allow me to take meds? It's a scheduled drug. However without it I would be more impaired and have never given reason for them to think I an unsafe on the meds

[Kitiger, RN]

Can my employer not allow me to take meds? It's a scheduled drug. However without it I would be more impaired and have never given reason for them to think I an unsafe on the meds

I don't see why your employer should even know what meds you're on. That's private information.

[WheresMyPen]

I don't see why your employer should even know what meds you're on. That's private information.

well I assume if they gave a random test to us or something, then I would have to give them my rx

[cjcsoon2bnp, MSN, RN, NP]

To the OP, as a psychiatric/mental health nurse I am happy to hear that you are really coming to terms with your diagnosis and are starting to see an improved quality of life with your current treatment regiment. I would say to you the same thing I say to my other patients, whether they are facing a psychiatric diagnosis or a medical diagnosis.

We would not tell a patient with diabetes that they are not entitled to their insulin or oral antidiabetic meds. and we wouldn't tell them they just have to "suck it up" or "get over it" or "stop taking the easy way out" and so why aren't patients experiencing a psychiatric or neurological diagnosis, such as ADD or ADHD, entitled to that same care? It sounds like you have tried other alternatives to meds. and your quality of your life has been severely impacted in a negative way and after multiple med. trials you have finally found a treatment that works for you.

Now you need to focus on (a) accepting this diagnosis as a part of who you are, one aspect of you but it is not the only thing that defines you; and (b) enjoying the fact that you are now on a better path and accomplishing your goals because you are getting the appropriate treatment. Best of luck OP!

!Chris

[cjhyde]

There is a brain training that you can do. My daughter did it and have great improvement. There wasn't any medication that seemed to work for her so we went this route. Where I live it is called Neurocore and you can do a search for it and read about it. I would recommend it. Good luck

[adnrnstudent, ASN, RN]

Been on Adderall for decades and never want to be without it!

[adnrnstudent, ASN, RN]

I pop for amphetamines when drug tested, so they know, plus, I'm just open about it.

[canigraduate]

well I assume if they gave a random test to us or something, then I would have to give them my rx

The lab people will contact you about a positive result. They confirm your prescription but do not report what you are taking to your employer. It would be a HIPAA violation.

[WheresMyPen]

I pop for amphetamines when drug tested, so they know, plus, I'm just open about it.

Thats good you're able to be open about it. I am open about it with family but at work I am scared. I am only gonna tell them if they need to know.