By Conor Sweeney Conor Sweeney - Fri Apr 16, 10:19 am ET
MOSCOW (Reuters) - A top Russian official said on Friday he hoped to quickly place an adopted boy into foster care one week after he was sent home alone from the United States, sparking a halt to all U.S. adoptions by Russia.
Artyom Savelyev, who celebrated his eighth birthday on Friday in a Moscow hospital where he is under observation, arrived by airplane with a letter from his U.S. mother asking for his adoption to be annulled on the grounds he was mentally unstable, triggering a furious reaction in Russia.
"Next week Artyom will be discharged from hospital and will go to a foster family in Moscow," said the Russian President's Ombudsman for Children's Rights, Pavel Astakhov, after visiting him in hospital with birthday presents.
While children left without parental care usually face an uncertain future whose fate is not quickly solved, Astakhov said a decision was taken on Friday so everything possible would be done in Savelyev's case, he said on his website rfdeti.ru.
Savelyev was adopted from an orphanage in Russia's Far East in 2009. After six months, his adoptive mother, a single nurse from Tennessee, bought him a one-way ticket to Moscow. In an attached, typed note she described him as mentally unstable and violent.
Within around three weeks Astahkov said he hoped the "most suitable family" would be found for the boy, who has been in hospital since his return from the United States.
Astakhov said Savelyev was in a good mood and smiling on Friday.
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev described the affair as a "monstrous deed" and Russian media has followed the case closely, expressing outrage at the boy's experience.
Lawmakers drafted a bill on Friday that would formally suspend adoptions to the United States in line with an earlier Foreign Ministry announcement, Interfax reported.
Russia is the third largest source of foreign adoptions to the United States, with 1,586 children adopted last year, according to the U.S. State Department.
The U.S. embassy in Moscow said on Friday the child was "in good spirits" when a consular officer visited to give him a present. It added that Savelyev holds dual U.S. and Russian citizenship.
(Reporting by Conor Sweeney; Editing by Ralph Boulton)
just my opinion.. if she had done research before adopting she would have known that foreign adoptions,while quicker,have problems with disclosing info. I have been hearing about info not told to adoptive parents since2000. If she knowingly took that risk,she should have s
tuck it out.
i 'thought' i read she was told the child had no special challenges.
so if she chose to adopt a child under the premises that all was fine, i could understand her feeling disillusioned.
if she wanted a child with special needs, she would have requested or authorized it.
and i'm sorry, but this is NOT the same as giving birth to a child w/special needs.
most parents make the decisions before birth, as to whether they will raise such a child.
for example, i have always refused amnio's, because whether my child was handicapped or not, i was going to keep and raise him/her.
but not all bio parents are like that.
while i find the situation heartbreaking, i'm not feeling inclined to beat this woman for returning the child.
i'd really be interested in hearing more of what she has to say.
My main issue is the way she did it and that her statements--actually the grandmother's statements--about the child's behavior and her choices of mode to "give him back" don't add up. She sent a child who she claimed had "violent behavior problems" on a 10-hour commercial plane ride with no one on the other end, except for letters to the government office and to the limo driver stuck in his bag. I know there are reports that she received "help" from a lawyer she found online, but who in their right mind would think the method she employed would be a good idea? I mean, if the child really had behavior issues, what made her think he would safely get to where she intended him to go without hurting other people in transit?
I also find it odd that the grandmother is giving a lot of information, but the mother has yet to talk. Any lawyer worth his/her salt would tell the grandmother to shut up too.
i 'thought' i read she was told the child had no special challenges.
so if she chose to adopt a child under the premises that all was fine, i could understand her feeling disillusioned.
if she wanted a child with special needs, she would have requested or authorized it.
and i'm sorry, but this is NOT the same as giving birth to a child w/special needs.
most parents make the decisions before birth, as to whether they will raise such a child.
for example, i have always refused amnio's, because whether my child was handicapped or not, i was going to keep and raise him/her.
but not all bio parents are like that.
while i find the situation heartbreaking, i'm not feeling inclined to beat this woman for returning the child.
i'd really be interested in hearing more of what she has to say.
leslie
I did not read that the woman was told that the child was fine (but also consider what some would call "normal" and what others would term dysfunctional, unacceptable, etc). I think you may have read that in one of the other poster's comments. You honestly don't think this woman should be expected to uphold her commitment of taking on the responsibility of a human life? Or am I misreading what you're saying?
It isn't as if she signed on for a free trial of spa membership or a trial run. She accepted and agreed to take this child into her home and raise him as her son. When it got too hard (in 6 months, no less!) she sent him packing....On a plane...By himself.........Across the ocean...With a typed note, telling the Russian people she didn't want him any longer.
I dunno...It seems as if there are many that are outraged, because this truly was an outrageous act. Russia has suspended any and all rights of Americans to adopt due to the atrocity of her actions. It not only misrepresented Americans, it also punished MANY people and homeless children that are in the process of adopting.
It scares me that so many people in America (and the world as well) think it's OK to make commitments and then set them aside when it's inconvenient or when it becomes too overwhelming....OK, so you (subjectively, not "you" personally) get a puppy and you didn't think it was going to be quite as hard as it has become to housetrain it. So you find it another home. You buy some piece of merchandise that doesn't fit into your home and return it. You are sold an appliance that is promised to work beautifully and it ends up being defective...You return it...But a child? No way.....that's unacceptable behavior, in my opinion. I understand that my opinion isn't the only "right" opinion....I just can't see where anyone would condone her actions when she had so many other avenues....
It truly chaps my hide.
I completely agree with your comment of "i'd really be interested in hearing more of what she has to say." I'd like to hear what she tried to work out with this child...Whether they were in counseling, who she asked for help, etc.
Plus, I keep coming back to the fact that she only gave this situation 6 months! That's not even enough time to get used to each other, much less begin working on issues with the child, bonding, etc.
The only way I could possibly condone what she did, is if the child was not officially adopted and she had been more responsible in the way in which she sent him to Russia AND she and the child came to this decision, together. Even then, emotionally damaged children will jump at the chance to remove themselves either physically or emotionally, in order to perpetuate the cycle of "see?" "Nobody loves me and I can't trust anyone." At that point, as his mother I would think it would be her responsibility to teach him that he can indeed depend upon the person that decided to accept him as her son, in a forever home...So that would still be a tough call....
And honestly, there are many people that have handicapped children, or emotionally disabled children without knowing it is going to happen and they still stand by their responsibilities they endeavored to shoulder (even the ones that have accidental pregnancies and births--i.e., my cousin that had a child with Monosomy 7....She has accepted and dealt with the fact that she must take of her child, even if this was not a planned pregnancy) . I feel that we should be able to offer support, but not allow others to throw away what they created, be it a situation with an adopted child, or a child we have birthed.
There ARE of course, plenty that don't...And I refuse to accept their excuses, either. Yeah, I know--It makes me look like an uncompromising harda$$, but where and when do we put a stop to the excuses and start expecting real commitment from people?
There ARE of course, plenty that don't...And I refuse to accept their excuses, either. Yeah, I know--It makes me look like an uncompromising harda$$, but where and when do we put a stop to the excuses and start expecting real commitment from people?
there you go...
the stark, harsh reality that (too) many parents DON"T want to raise their imperfect child.
i personally would not want a parent raising a child, that their heart wasn't into.
i've already stated i find it heartbreaking, but i just cannot feel the outrage that others do.
we just don't know the terms of the contract, or even the negotiations.
whether we agree with it or not, if the mom specifically stated she did not want a 'problem' child, then i can see why he was returned (although, very irresponsibly).
and, i maintain, it's a good, darned thing that poor boy WASN'T stuck with her.
i feel strongly about that.
finally, just because i don't feel the outrage, doesn't make me or anyone else, a lesser-feeling parent.
I think that it's good that she recognized that she couldn't care for this child and that she didn't abuse him. However, I think she should have given it more time (as others have said). She totally went about it the wrong way. Since he was already over here, why not have him go to foster care here or to someone responsible here, until she could figure things out. I would NEVER send back a child who I adopted (or give up a child I birthed)....To me making a choice to adopt is something that is just like having a child. I look at my beautiful rambunctious 2 year old and feel so sad for this little boy and others out there. They need someone to love them and care for them. FWIW I know of someone who called CPS for help b/c they felt like they could injure there baby, CPS came and be-rated them telling them what an awful mother they were...we do need more assistance for moms (adoptive and new ones). I live in a very rural area so support is limited. I was lucky to have my family. WIC was a good support too but only if you fit into their income brackets. There is a huge distrust with CPS, so that rules them out. First Steps was great, but b/c of funding the program got cut, and again only if you fit in the income bracket. I just think it's so sad what happened. However I feel I don't have the right to judge this woman.
Similar outrage over decisions to abort pregnancies?
Similar outrage over decisions to put children UP for adoption?
Similar outrage over decisions to put children INTO foster care?
Similar outrage over decisions by host families to d/c fostering a child?
when we were doing peds in nsg school, i specifically remember one of my instructors talking about cleft palate, and how this physical imperfection, is enough for some parents, to want to disown their child.
a cleft palate!!
since then, and from doing a brief stint in peds hospice, i have learned such parents exist.
tragically, it just doesn't surprise me anymore.
and i strongly feel that these kids will ultimately be much better off, when they are wanted...
and i strongly feel that these kids will ultimately be much better off, when they are wanted... versus merely tolerated.
Agreed... the problem, of course, is that there simply are not enough places where they are wanted.
'tis better for all concerned if they are in a place where they are at least tolerated rather than actually despised.
Based on the small amount of information I know about this case, I can't see how it would've turned out to be in anybody's best interest to force the "parent" to keep him when she obviously felt so strongly that he was no longer welcome.
i 'thought' i read she was told the child had no special challenges.
so if she chose to adopt a child under the premises that all was fine, i could understand her feeling disillusioned.
if she wanted a child with special needs, she would have requested or authorized it.
and i'm sorry, but this is NOT the same as giving birth to a child w/special needs.
most parents make the decisions before birth, as to whether they will raise such a child.
for example, i have always refused amnio's, because whether my child was handicapped or not, i was going to keep and raise him/her.
but not all bio parents are like that.
while i find the situation heartbreaking, i'm not feeling inclined to beat this woman for returning the child.
i'd really be interested in hearing more of what she has to say.
leslie
I thought by now most people would know about adoptions abroad. I believe shetook the easy way and in the end got burned. Sometimes the quickest way is not always the best. If she was one of those people who adopt overseas because it takes too long in the usa to adopt..well u know what they say if its too good to be true...... also they have to remember these are 3rd world countries so naturally they are going to make things look good to get rid of some of its population.
similar outrage over decisions to abort pregnancies? yes
similar outrage over decisions to put children up for adoption? no, generally children are put up for adoption because the bio parents are unable to care for them. they are doing a self-less act that is in the best interest of the child.
similar outrage over decisions to put children into foster care? i have never heard of someone "putting" a child into foster care, though i am sure it happens. commonly, cps takes children out of their homes due to abuse/neglect. if the parents are choosing to place a child in foster care rather than work with them to overcome emotional problems, then yes i would be outraged at that.
similar outrage over decisions by host families to d/c fostering a child?
it depends on the situation. some children require a higher level of care than some families are able to provide (called therapeutic foster care). if the family and case worker did not realize that a therapeutic setting was necessary, then it is in the child's best interest to be placed somewhere else.
also, foster care is by definition temporary. many foster parents have no intention of adopting the children placed with them, because it is their goal to continue to foster. this type family is very much needed due to the lack of foster families in most areas. those who foster with adoption being the end goal, then do not foster again, are helping one child whereas the ones who continue to foster can help many.
adoption is by definition permanant. if you have never seen one you should. the judge asks the parents if they are willing to take and raise the child as if their natural born child with all the rights of heirship and all the responsibilities of a normal parent. once that oath is taken, it is not meant to be broken. what this woman did was akin to taking her natural born child, putting them on a bus to cps with a note that they did not want them anymore. yes, i would be equally outraged at that.
whether or not the child was misrepresented is irrelevant. no child comes with guarantees of any kind, adopted or biological. making the decision to parent a child means taking responsibility for that child, no matter what.
my last thought...adoption are not processed instantly, especially international ones. i refuse to believe this kid was a perfect angel and then suddenly turned into a violent terror once the adoption decree was issued. we are certainly not getting the entire story here.
leslie :-D
11,191 Posts
i 'thought' i read she was told the child had no special challenges.
so if she chose to adopt a child under the premises that all was fine, i could understand her feeling disillusioned.
if she wanted a child with special needs, she would have requested or authorized it.
and i'm sorry, but this is NOT the same as giving birth to a child w/special needs.
most parents make the decisions before birth, as to whether they will raise such a child.
for example, i have always refused amnio's, because whether my child was handicapped or not, i was going to keep and raise him/her.
but not all bio parents are like that.
while i find the situation heartbreaking, i'm not feeling inclined to beat this woman for returning the child.
i'd really be interested in hearing more of what she has to say.
leslie